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  1. #1
    Mr_Dad is offline Member
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    Add to a parenting plan?

    What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Fl

    I want to add some additional things on to our existing parenting plan. I want to make sure a certain person is not around my our child during his visits, no drugs or alcohol 24 hrs prior and during visitation, and no week day visits while school in in session.

    Would I have submit a whole new plan or can we add on to the existing one?
  2. #2
    stealth2 is offline Senior Member
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    When was the existing plan ordered, why do you feel the change is imperative now, what is the actual situation? What proof do you have that a certain person be restricted, that alcohol be restricted, etc.?

    Really - you provided no information upon which to form an opinion.
  3. #3
    Mr_Dad is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by stealth2 View Post
    When was the existing plan ordered, why do you feel the change is imperative now, what is the actual situation? What proof do you have that a certain person be restricted, that alcohol be restricted, etc.?

    Really - you provided no information upon which to form an opinion.
    Im not really looking for an opinion. Just want to know if you can add to an existing plan. Id rather not get in to the whole story because it is very complicated. My ex agrees to my requests so I just need to know if I need a new plan or if I can add to the current one.
  4. #4
    mistoffolees is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mr_Dad View Post
    Im not really looking for an opinion. Just want to know if you can add to an existing plan. Id rather not get in to the whole story because it is very complicated. My ex agrees to my requests so I just need to know if I need a new plan or if I can add to the current one.
    If your ex agrees, the plan can be changed. Just make sure that it is formalized with the court.
  5. #5
    stealth2 is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mr_Dad View Post
    Im not really looking for an opinion. Just want to know if you can add to an existing plan. Id rather not get in to the whole story because it is very complicated. My ex agrees to my requests so I just need to know if I need a new plan or if I can add to the current one.
    Maybe. That's the best answer I can give you without any further details. Good luck. Perhaps you'd be best served by paying an attorney.
  6. #6
    Mr_Dad is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by mistoffolees View Post
    If your ex agrees, the plan can be changed. Just make sure that it is formalized with the court.
    Is filling out a new plan required?
  7. #7
    Mr_Dad is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by stealth2 View Post
    Maybe. That's the best answer I can give you without any further details. Good luck. Perhaps you'd be best served by paying an attorney.
    The original plan was made in Feb. of 09.

    The person who I do not want around my son is her Uncle. He is a 40 something year old schizophrenic who does not take his meds properly. (this is document in several police reports) He has started stuff with the neighbors where my son goes to visit and has had the cops out due to fights with the neighbors. My ex has said she is afraid of him and has even written that in the police reports. He says and acts inappropriately around my son. He had been arrested and charged with domestic battery 3 times this year and violated the restraing order. My ex lives with her mother who allows him to stay there when he gets kicked out of his girlfriends houses for beating them. He has hit women in my sons presence.

    My ex has a history of drug and alcohol abuse. This is the reason she lost custody of our son. She has had the cops called out numerous times for domestic battery and suicide attempts. These incidents occur when she drinks and takes drugs. It has been almost 7 months since she has had the cops called on her. I want to make sure it stays this way for the safety of our son!

    I want something in writing that says she in not doing drugs or drinking in the presence of my son. (I do not drink or do drugs period!)

    I want in writing that she will not allow her Uncle around my son.
    Last edited by Mr_Dad; 08-26-2010 at 11:51 AM. Reason: additonal info
  8. #8
    mistoffolees is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mr_Dad View Post
    Is filling out a new plan required?
    Can you just file an amendment all by itself? Probably not.

    Just take the original plan, add the wording about the uncle, and resubmit the revised plan.
  9. #9
    Mr_Dad is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by mistoffolees View Post
    Can you just file an amendment all by itself? Probably not.

    Just take the original plan, add the wording about the uncle, and resubmit the revised plan.
    Ok, that is easy enough! Thank you!
  10. #10
    CJane is offline Senior Member
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    BUT you need to understand that a parenting plan is not binding on anyone except YOU and MOM.

    So, if MOM is not actually present (ie, she runs to the store, kiddo is with grandma/the neighbor/whatever) and uncle shows up/IS present, that is not MOM'S fault and she cannot be held in contempt of that portion of the order.

    In fact, it's QUITE difficult to base a contempt case on something like the clauses that you're adding. SO, while you can get it into the order if Mom agrees, and file it as a stipulated agreement, it will be nearly impossible to enforce with real consequences leveled against Mom if it's violated.
  11. #11
    Ohiogal is offline Senior Member
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    The original plan was made in Feb. of 09.

    The person who I do not want around my son is her Uncle. He is a 40 something year old schizophrenic who does not take his meds properly. (this is document in several police reports) He has started stuff with the neighbors where my son goes to visit and has had the cops out due to fights with the neighbors. My ex has said she is afraid of him and has even written that in the police reports. He says and acts inappropriately around my son. He had been arrested and charged with domestic battery 3 times this year and violated the restraing order. My ex lives with her mother who allows him to stay there when he gets kicked out of his girlfriends houses for beating them. He has hit women in my sons presence.
    Your ex's mother is NOT bound by the divorce decree or parenting plan. Nor is the uncle. Your ex would be bound by it but if her mom allows uncle there then your ex either won't see HER child at her residence OR will be forced to move.
    My ex has a history of drug and alcohol abuse. This is the reason she lost custody of our son. She has had the cops called out numerous times for domestic battery and suicide attempts. These incidents occur when she drinks and takes drugs. It has been almost 7 months since she has had the cops called on her. I want to make sure it stays this way for the safety of our son!
    Are you willing to forgo beer/alcohol when your child is with you?

    I want something in writing that says she in not doing drugs or drinking in the presence of my son. (I do not drink or do drugs period!)
    Something in writing is not going to stop it necessarily. It will give you a reason to go to back court for contempt.
    I want in writing that she will not allow her Uncle around my son.
    And if someone ELSE allows uncle around the son? The neighbors for instance? You can't hold it against your ex if uncle is at the neighbor's house.
    Parents should remember 3 things: Love your kids more than you hate your ex; when you have children the relationship with the other parent is until death; your children determine what type of nursing home you end up in.
    Nothing stated by me should be taken as giving you legal advice or forming an attorney/client relationship.

    Attorney-GAL in Ohio.

    I've removed the knife from my back, polished it, and will one day return it -- long after you think I have forgotten.
  12. #12
    Mr_Dad is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ohiogal View Post
    Your ex's mother is NOT bound by the divorce decree or parenting plan. Nor is the uncle. Your ex would be bound by it but if her mom allows uncle there then your ex either won't see HER child at her residence OR will be forced to move.



    Are you willing to forgo beer/alcohol when your child is with you?



    Can I make the grandmother bound to it? In our divorce decree and parenting plan she is the one who is paying for half of my childs insurance and day care expenses. It also states that the mothers parenting time be spent at the maternal grandmothers house.

    As far as alcohol goes, I dont drink so that is not a problem.
  13. #13
    Mr_Dad is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mr_Dad View Post
    Can I make the grandmother bound to it? In our divorce decree and parenting plan she is the one who is paying for half of my childs insurance and day care expenses. It also states that the mothers parenting time be spent at the maternal grandmothers house.

    As far as alcohol goes, I dont drink so that is not a problem.
    Correction:

    When we were settling our divorce the maternal grandmother said she would pay for those things stated above. However, I just realized it states "parties" not maternal grandmother.

    It does state:

    "The petitioner shall have parenting time with the minor child at the home of the maternal grandmother located at ****** on alternate weekends and 2 overnights during the off weeks until the minor child begins school. These two days will be flexible upon the maternal grandmother's availability."

    Is there anyway possible to have it include to not letting the maternal grandmother to allow him over?
  14. #14
    mistoffolees is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mr_Dad View Post
    Correction:

    When we were settling our divorce the maternal grandmother said she would pay for those things stated above. However, I just realized it states "parties" not maternal grandmother.

    It does state:

    "The petitioner shall have parenting time with the minor child at the home of the maternal grandmother located at ****** on alternate weekends and 2 overnights during the off weeks until the minor child begins school. These two days will be flexible upon the maternal grandmother's availability."

    Is there anyway possible to have it include to not letting the maternal grandmother to allow him over?
    No. As you've been told, you and your ex are the only ones bound by the agreement.
  15. #15
    Mr_Dad is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by mistoffolees View Post
    No. As you've been told, you and your ex are the only ones bound by the agreement.
    What can I do if the maternal grandmother decides to let him move in again?
    Last edited by Mr_Dad; 08-29-2010 at 11:27 AM. Reason: revised sentence

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