Adoption of stepchild

[u.c.r.]

What is the name of your state? texas.my stepdaughter's dad has standerd visitation,but pawns her off on his mother during these times.my wife and i have full custody.how do i prepare to adopt her legally?is there a way to force him to sigh his rights away?,or get the courts to decide this is best for the child.i already support my daughter 100%!i don't care how long it would take,or how much it would take,i need to know if it's possible!!

 

[Boxcarbill]

What is the name of your state? texas.my stepdaughter's dad has standerd visitation,but pawns her off on his mother during these times.my wife and i have full custody.how do i prepare to adopt her legally?is there a way to force him to sigh his rights away?,or get the courts to decide this is best for the child.i already support my daughter 100%!i don't care how long it would take,or how much it would take,i need to know if it's possible!!

How dare this father to let the grandparents have access to the child. Well, this is certainly one of the statutory grounds for Involuntary Termination of Parental Rights under Texas law and the parental rights of the father must be terminated before there can be an adoption.

Since I have written extensively on Texas termination of parental rights on this forum, let me suggest that you type into the lower right hand window where it says, "search this forum" the words "voluntary relinquishment of parental rights" and hit go. Happy reading.

 

[u.c.r.]

Adoption of a stepchild

Thank You for the info;has there ever been a case that you know of where the rights have been terminated by the court while the dad isn't sighing out of spite? Has the courts ever been persuaded to make the termination mandatory with or without the fathers sighing?

 

[OnlyOneVoice]

URC, I'm sure BCB will correct me if I'm in error, but unless the courts determine that it is in the child's best interest, they won't terminate rights.

The fact that the dad still picks the child up and still pays support is not in your favor.

And if he contests the termination, he could win because he's in the position of still attempting to remain a part of the child's life.

Termination is usually only done when it is 100% in the best interest of the child and dad nearly needs to be a total danger to the child's safety or completely absent.

Also, a guardian adlitem will be appointed for the child and his input will be important. Also a social study will be done by CPS (Texas Department of Protective and Regulatory Services) as part of the process. Dumping the child at the grandparents I'm afraid isn't sufficient cause for the courts to terminate.

Good luck!!

 

[theb]

What is the name of your state? texas.my stepdaughter's dad has standerd visitation,but pawns her off on his mother during these times.my wife and i have full custody.how do i prepare to adopt her legally?is there a way to force him to sigh his rights away?,or get the courts to decide this is best for the child.i already support my daughter 100%!i don't care how long it would take,or how much it would take,i need to know if it's possible!!

I just had to comment on this lil ol statement

"my wife and i have full custody"

No, I beg to differ; your WIFE has custody. YOU have NO custody, No Rights and NO business trying to screw up a child's life by trying to shut the FATHER out. You cannot dictate how the father spends his visitation time and therefore you have no business trying to get him to 'sigh'(sign) his rights away.

You seriously need to re-read your statements on this tread and look at how self-centered you are.

If your only reason for wanting to adopt this child is because YOU feel the father is not spending his visitation with his daughter as YOU think he should, then YOU have some deep issues of 'little man syndrome". In layman's terms.....YOU'RE JEALOUS of THE DADDY and HIS relationship with HIS daughter and cant accept the fact that your wife created a child with ANOTHER man......

By the way, I'm a step parent too and what you are doing, and how you are acting gives the rest of us the bad name that step parents have to overcome every day.

 

[tigger22472]

Re: Re: Adoption of stepchild

I just had to comment on this lil ol statement

"my wife and i have full custody"

No, I beg to differ; your WIFE has custody. YOU have NO custody, No Rights and NO business trying to screw up a child's life by trying to shut the FATHER out. You cannot dictate how the father spends his visitation time and therefore you have no business trying to get him to 'sigh'(sign) his rights away.

You seriously need to re-read your statements on this tread and look at how self-centered you are.

If your only reason for wanting to adopt this child is because YOU feel the father is not spending his visitation with his daughter as YOU think he should, then YOU have some deep issues of 'little man syndrome". In layman's terms.....YOU'RE JEALOUS of THE DADDY and HIS relationship with HIS daughter and cant accept the fact that your wife created a child with ANOTHER man......

By the way, I'm a step parent too and what you are doing, and how you are acting gives the rest of us the bad name that step parents have to overcome every day.

Great answer!!

I don't post here much anymore and a lot of it has to do with questions like these. TPR is NOT the new fad but you couldn't tell it from some of the posters. TPR is something that must be taken into consideration very carefully and a father who does in fact pay support and does in fact utilize his visitation time is not going to be forced to give up rights to a child as well he shouldn't be. Just because YOU don't like the way he does things means anything. I too am a CP as well as a step parent. When this man is over 20,000$ behind in support and hasn't seen your sd in over 2 years then you come back and talk about TPR. Until then you have to grin and bear it... ever thought about compromising so that things are easier on everyone, especially the child?? WOW, there's a thought! The anger you hold for this man is SURELY being seen by the child and OH yeah... that's not in her best intrest either and that's all a judge cares about.

 

[haiku]

you know...the fact that BCB's answer just FLEW over the head of the OP, told me all I really needed to know about the OP.

As someone who has actually gone through a TPR, I have to say it PAINS me greatly, at how many people think it is a 'walk in the park" and your life is going to be so "peachy and perfect" afterward.

Even in cases where it is actually warranted, and not just because, your ex doesn't match the drapes anymore, you cannot erase history folks! this is your childs PARENT. TPR is a sad, sad, thing, and you still have to face the truth with your child someday.

And quite frankly, the last person who should have an opinion is the step parent.

 

[u.c.r.]

Re: Re: Re: Adoption of stepchild

Great answer!!

I don't post here much anymore and a lot of it has to do with questions like these. TPR is NOT the new fad but you couldn't tell it from some of the posters. TPR is something that must be taken into consideration very carefully and a father who does in fact pay support and does in fact utilize his visitation time is not going to be forced to give up rights to a child as well he shouldn't be. Just because YOU don't like the way he does things means anything. I too am a CP as well as a step parent. When this man is over 20,000$ behind in support and hasn't seen your sd in over 2 years then you come back and talk about TPR. Until then you have to grin and bear it... ever thought about compromising so that things are easier on everyone, especially the child?? WOW, there's a thought! The anger you hold for this man is SURELY being seen by the child and OH yeah... that's not in her best intrest either and that's all a judge cares about.

 

[u.c.r.]

Adoption of a stepchild,RE to all

It is better to be silent and be thought a fool,than to open your mouth and remove all doubt!!! This is to all of you who opened your mouth without knowing any of the details!The dead beat dad DOES NOT have any kind of relationship with her! DOES NOT pay childsupport(his moyher does)! DOES NOT pick her up,AND has NEVER paid a dime for her! She was with him one year and NEVER once changed a diaper,NEVER once fed her,NEVER once took her to a doctor when she was sick!Infact my wife's grandmother had to drive 23 miles to pick her up and take her to the hospital so she could give birth!Even though there was 3 people,three vehicles,that didn't want to get out(said you can wait til lator)! I've cared for her since she was 1 and have paid ALL her doctor bills(even though he's supposed to have ins.on her),I've bought a new Home for my family,I take her places and she calls me "Her bestest dad".I'm honest with her,explaining I am her step dad and it's up to her,only her,what she wants to call me.She calls him by his first name.We've taken her to counceling because of sexual abuse while she was out there,the state has a video tape of her telling them that his moms been touching her.Iv'e spent over 2,000.00 in court,but the courts say it's not 'enough of an outcry'!The fact that my wife had a child by another man has never been an issue.She and her daughter had been abandon one year when I met her.I took her as my wife and her little girl as my own!Iv'e never been selfish and have spent every dime I've made for the past three years providing for them!They come FIRST!And as for 'My Rights",we went through the courts and the Judge declared "In the best intrest of the child,full custody goes to the mother AND the childs stepfather.I was the issue there and proved without a doubt she was better off with me,his mother was wanting custody(not him),and used him to try to get her.I had 20 people sigh statements on my behalf,and most of them have read what some of you have wrote and have called me,laughing!What you think of me has NO merit on my intentions,I will do whatever it takes to keep my daughter safe at all times!! Before the abuse I asked him to pick her up whenever he wanted to spend time with her,never once did! Now that he still has limited visitation rights,I am worried only something very harmful will be 'enough of an outcry'to show the court she's in danger.I just pray it's not something that will effect her for the rest of her life,something that can never be undone! This is all about her safety and wellbeing,nothing else matters!

 

[CAPrincess]

First off, we're not psychics. In your original post, you stated the reason you wanted his rights terminated was that he "pawned her off on his mother" and you supported her 100%. You didn't say anything about all these bad things he's done. Boxcarbill gave you a correct legal answer to your original post with the limited information you gave.

Secondly, okay, seriously... why would you direct people you know to your post so that they could see how wrong and judgemental we were of you? Am I the only one who thinks that's weird?

Thirdly, we didn't pick this little girl's father. Your wife did. So now unless you and your wife can successfully prove that it would be in her daughter's (notice I said HER daughter 'cuz she isn't yours regardless of financial support) best interest to terminate her father's rights, then you might as well get used to dealing with him because you and your wife will be dealing with him until her daughter turns 18. And you have no one else to thank for that except your wife.

 

[Plantinga]

"It is better to be silent and be thought a fool,than to open your mouth and remove all doubt!!! "

Actually, read the signature line of my post, George Elliot said it this way, and I quoted.

Regards,
Plantinga

 

[stealth2]

Re: Adoption of a stepchild,RE to all

It is better to be silent and be thought a fool,than to open your mouth and remove all doubt!!! This is to all of you who opened your mouth without knowing any of the details!

Then why did you ask a question without providing the relevant details? Did you think we're a bunch of mind readers? HELLO? I hope you realize how aptly that quote applies to you.

 

[OnlyOneVoice]

Unfortunately who is paying the support is not important. The support is being paid through the appropriate agency and is being credited to the bio-dad's account so the fact that "his mother" is paying it won't make a hill of beans to the judge.


They don't care where or who the money comes from as long as it comes when it's supposed to. If his mother took the obligation for him that was her choice and he will not be penalized for making that agreement with his mother.

In your original question you stated that

stepdaughter's dad has standerd visitation,but pawns her off on his mother during these times.


Then in your angry reply revealing all the gory details (which no one could have known before you post them) you state:

The dead beat dad DOES NOT have any kind of relationship with her! DOES NOT pay childsupport(his moyher does)! DOES NOT pick her up,AND has NEVER paid a dime for her!


You make to completely contrary statements.

First you said he picks her up and pawns her off on his mother and you stated that his mother is paying the child support.

Then you say, "he never picks her up, and has never paid a nickle, my wife was abandoned."



So which is it????

Is mom paying the support? If yes then the support is being paid, the court doesn't give a rip where the money comes from, it's being paid.

Or has your wife not received a nickle. If your wife is getting child support then technically "he is paying support" again the courts don't care where the money comes from as long as it come.

NEXT CONTRARY STATEMENT:

"When he picks her up, he pawns her off on his mother."

"He never comes to get her."

Is the child going for visitation or not? If she is who picks her up is beside the point. If grandma is coming to get her the courts don't care who provides the transportation unless the one doing the transporting is dangerous to the child.

The horror story that you gave us later may make your case for you, but the sketchy details you gave us originally don't agree with the later post.

You need to get your story clear before you talk to a family law attorney because if you deal with them the way you dealt with us, you may be perceived as deceptive.


If you have all these concerns, document every single thing and then make your case to the judge.

If it is uncontested the cost will be about $2000 (this is a really low estimate) If it is contested it could go up into the $10,000's.

Also, know that you and your wife will be required to pay for the guardian adlitem for the child. This is an attorney appointed by the court to represent the child only not you and your wife.

Also be forwarned, just because they terminate the dad's rights does not mean that the grandmother's rights will be terminated thereby allowing the child to continue to be exposed to the bio-dad.

 

[u.c.r.]

Thanks

I got and was thankful of the info from Boxcarbill.I was asking him for futher info.I didn't post details because I didn't think anyone would be as stupid enough to respond with nothing but negative remarks.If you didn't have anything to help answer my first two questions than don't post anything at all.For those of you who were respectful,with with info that actually tried to help,(sadly only two out of the whole bunch)thank you again.You remembered this is Free Advice,not opinion.And if you who didn't know the details then why post?,and with nothing but negative remarks on top of that.If you wanted more details then post"I need more details please",if not then move on to another question that you have advice for that would actually help answer someone's questions.If you couldn't answer my question then I wasn't asking you.Anyway back to the two that tried to help,if you think of something else let me know.My aunt and uncle went through this same situation,only when enough was enough,my cousin was dead!

 

[stealth2]

If you don't think abuse was an important enough "detail" to include, then you really got what you deserved in terms of answers. People here are trying to help - noone has time to play footsie with you 'til you decide to be forthcoming with important information.