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H3artbrok3n

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? VA

I have a 14,12,& 6
The 14&12 yr chose to live with their father. The 6 yr is with me. The children spend time together only on the weekends from Friday-Sunday evening. Which is not enough time, it goes by so fast. every Sunday when I get the 6yr or the oldest two leave my house it's horrible. The 6yr cries uncontrollably when he does stop if he sees something that reminds him of his siblings it starts all over again....he has trouble sleeping at night he'll wake up several times. I don't know what to do I've talked to his siblings and their dad and they don't want to stay bc they have so much unsupervised freedom at his house. The six year doesn't like it at his dads. I just don't know what I can do. He has talked to counselors that didn't help at all.
 


Zigner

Senior Member, Non-Attorney
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? VA

I have a 14,12,& 6
The 14&12 yr chose to live with their father. The 6 yr is with me. The children spend time together only on the weekends from Friday-Sunday evening. Which is not enough time, it goes by so fast. every Sunday when I get the 6yr or the oldest two leave my house it's horrible. The 6yr cries uncontrollably when he does stop if he sees something that reminds him of his siblings it starts all over again....he has trouble sleeping at night he'll wake up several times. I don't know what to do I've talked to his siblings and their dad and they don't want to stay bc they have so much unsupervised freedom at his house. The six year doesn't like it at his dads. I just don't know what I can do. He has talked to counselors that didn't help at all.
Find a different counselor. Remember, the therapy isn't going to fix things overnight.
 

Just Blue

Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? VA

I have a 14,12,& 6
The 14&12 yr chose to live with their father. The 6 yr is with me. The children spend time together only on the weekends from Friday-Sunday evening. Which is not enough time, it goes by so fast. every Sunday when I get the 6yr or the oldest two leave my house it's horrible. The 6yr cries uncontrollably when he does stop if he sees something that reminds him of his siblings it starts all over again....he has trouble sleeping at night he'll wake up several times. I don't know what to do I've talked to his siblings and their dad and they don't want to stay bc they have so much unsupervised freedom at his house. The six year doesn't like it at his dads. I just don't know what I can do. He has talked to counselors that didn't help at all.
Goodness. Seems like you should have not given your young children the option of choosing where to live. :rolleyes:

YOU kinda hurt your six year old...hummm?
 

Zigner

Senior Member, Non-Attorney
Goodness. Seems like you should have not given your young children the option of choosing where to live. :rolleyes:

YOU kinda hurt your six year old...hummm?
I started going that direction, but I realized we don't really know what is meant by "choose". It's possible the judge discussed this with them at a custody hearing and they expressed their preference.

But, yeah, I think you're more likely right than I am.
 

CJane

Senior Member
It's also possible that there isn't a divorce yet, and the older children remained in the marital home when Mom left.

Regardless, it doesn't sound like OP has a legal question. And it sounds like she DOES need to find a different therapist for her child... or she's engaging in a bit of hyperbole.
 

Just Blue

Senior Member
I started going that direction, but I realized we don't really know what is meant by "choose". It's possible the judge discussed this with them at a custody hearing and they expressed their preference.

But, yeah, I think you're more likely right than I am.
In that case...then there must be a reason that the judge listened to the kids. ;):(
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? VA

I have a 14,12,& 6
The 14&12 yr chose to live with their father. The 6 yr is with me. The children spend time together only on the weekends from Friday-Sunday evening. Which is not enough time, it goes by so fast. every Sunday when I get the 6yr or the oldest two leave my house it's horrible. The 6yr cries uncontrollably when he does stop if he sees something that reminds him of his siblings it starts all over again....he has trouble sleeping at night he'll wake up several times. I don't know what to do I've talked to his siblings and their dad and they don't want to stay bc they have so much unsupervised freedom at his house. The six year doesn't like it at his dads. I just don't know what I can do. He has talked to counselors that didn't help at all.
How far apart do you and dad live? You could perhaps come up with a different custody arrangement where the children are together more of the time. Some time during the week would be normal. Perhaps if you got the older two one weekday a week and dad got the 6 year old one weekday a week (a different day) that would give the children two more days a week together.
 

H3artbrok3n

Junior Member
Goodness. Seems like you should have not given your young children the option of choosing where to live. :rolleyes:

YOU kinda hurt your six year old...hummm?
I didn't give them the option to choose the judge said they were old enough to decide where they wanted to live....
What teenager wouldn't choose to live where they know they can do as please whenever they please
 

H3artbrok3n

Junior Member
How far apart do you and dad live? You could perhaps come up with a different custody arrangement where the children are together more of the time. Some time during the week would be normal. Perhaps if you got the older two one weekday a week and dad got the 6 year old one weekday a week (a different day) that would give the children two more days a week together.
I have mentioned that and he says the oldest two don't want to do it so he's not going to make them do it...I'm like it's for their brother, not me, their little brother, hello u can't tell them to stay one night....
 

H3artbrok3n

Junior Member
It's also possible that there isn't a divorce yet, and the older children remained in the marital home when Mom left.

Regardless, it doesn't sound like OP has a legal question. And it sounds like she DOES need to find a different therapist for her child... or she's engaging in a bit of hyperbole.
I'm looking for positive advise and all that I stated is facts nothing is exaggerated
 

CJane

Senior Member
If there is no exaggeration in this:

The 6yr cries uncontrollably when he does stop if he sees something that reminds him of his siblings it starts all over again
then your child needs a different therapist, so that he can develop some coping skills.

But you still don't have a legal question.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
I have mentioned that and he says the oldest two don't want to do it so he's not going to make them do it...I'm like it's for their brother, not me, their little brother, hello u can't tell them to stay one night....
That is why you would have to file in court for a modification of parenting time. Once its court ordered its no longer anybody's choice.
 

CJane

Senior Member
That is why you would have to file in court for a modification of parenting time. Once its court ordered its no longer anybody's choice.
Doesn't sound like she has a material change in circumstances that would allow for a modification.
 

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