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After 13 years father now wants custody...questions

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Raisingmaddy1

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Washington

I have had custody of minor child for her entire life, she is now 13 years of age. Father all the sudden wants custody of her. Does Washington state allow the childs wants in determining custody changes, also I am not an unfit mother, and could never be proven to be. I take excellent care of our children. Father doesn't even utilize all of his parenting time per our current parenting agreement. What reasons could the father use to try to justify and win a custody change. Unfortunately this only came out when I was considering filing a modification of our child support order, which I will not do now that he is threatening the custody change because he will follow through so he doesn't have to pay more child support but its also about power and control for him. Any comments welcomed and appreciated.
 


stealth2

Under the Radar Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Washington

I have had custody of minor child for her entire life, she is now 13 years of age. Father all the sudden wants custody of her. Does Washington state allow the childs wants in determining custody changes, also I am not an unfit mother, and could never be proven to be. I take excellent care of our children. Father doesn't even utilize all of his parenting time per our current parenting agreement. What reasons could the father use to try to justify and win a custody change. Unfortunately this only came out when I was considering filing a modification of our child support order, which I will not do now that he is threatening the custody change because he will follow through so he doesn't have to pay more child support but its also about power and control for him. Any comments welcomed and appreciated.
Why do you think your child will want to live with her other parent?
 

Proserpina

Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Washington

I have had custody of minor child for her entire life, she is now 13 years of age. Father all the sudden wants custody of her. Does Washington state allow the childs wants in determining custody changes, also I am not an unfit mother, and could never be proven to be. I take excellent care of our children. Father doesn't even utilize all of his parenting time per our current parenting agreement. What reasons could the father use to try to justify and win a custody change. Unfortunately this only came out when I was considering filing a modification of our child support order, which I will not do now that he is threatening the custody change because he will follow through so he doesn't have to pay more child support but its also about power and control for him. Any comments welcomed and appreciated.
During the initial custody determination, her wishes can be considered. Now? Not so much. Seriously, her wants are not a CoC, and WA requires that a CoC is present AND that CoC would warrant a modification.

Take a look:

http://app.leg.wa.gov/rcw/default.aspx?cite=26.09.260

So... you filed for a CS mod and Dad now wants custody? Cos, y'know, that never happens. The commissioner will see through him in a heartbeat.
 
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Raisingmaddy1

Junior Member
Why do you think your child will want to live with her other parent?
I have absolutely no idea other than the fact Dad and his new wife just had a huge beautiful new home built and she is 13, probably thinks the grass is greener on the other side...but I absolutely do not think it is in her best interest to be uprooted from the only life she has ever known and move seven hours away...
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
I have absolutely no idea other than the fact Dad and his new wife just had a huge beautiful new home built and she is 13, probably thinks the grass is greener on the other side...but I absolutely do not think it is in her best interest to be uprooted from the only life she has ever known and move seven hours away...
Oh wow...that makes it even LESS likely that dad would have any shot at it.
 

Proserpina

Senior Member
Were you here previously under "Raisingmaddy"? If so, you sure went through the ringer!

I *think* this is the same Mom - in which case I couldn't agree with you more!

(And even if it's not, this Mom on this thread is also clearly dealing with the... well, yeah)
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
Yes that would be me...I had not been on here for awhile and forgot my login info so I started a new account..and yes, I really have
While I do not think that dad has a hope in Hades, I really feel that it would be in your best interest to have an attorney and combine the child support and custody issues.

After reviewing your posting history its clear that dad had been a horrible co-parent...and his parents have been major contributors to that...and he has increased the distance between homes, not once, not twice but at least three times.
 

mommyanme

Member
I read the Hx and WOW! This is not legal advice, but, you make my situation and problems with the X look easy. My hat's off to you, you've handled all that with such grace!:)
 

TinkerBelleLuvr

Senior Member
For a change of custody in Washington:
http://www.washingtonlawhelp.org/resource/child-custody-modification

Will the court grant a request for a modification automatically?
No. First, you will have to prove to the court that there is a good reason to make the change. Before the court will allow a change or even a trial, the court will hold a hearing called an "Adequate Cause" or "Threshold" hearing. If you cannot prove there is a good reason at that hearing, the court will dismiss the case.

How do I prove the need for a major modification?
If you prove there is a good reason at the first "Adequate Cause" hearing, the court will set a date for a trial. If the other parent or custodian does not agree to the change, there will be a trial. A judge will decide whether to allow the modification.

At the trial, you will have to prove there is been a big change in the life of the child or the other parent/custodian since the court entered the current Parenting Plan. The legal term for this big change is "substantial change of circumstances." The substantial change of circumstances must be one of the following:

The parents and any custodian agree to the modification

The parent/custodian with custody under the current Parenting Plan has let the child live with the other parent for a substantial period of time

The place where the child is supposed to live under the current Parenting Plan is not safe for the child physically, mentally or emotionally, and it would be more harmful to leave the child where s/he is than to move him/her to the other parent's home

The other parent/custodian has been held in contempt of court at least twice in three years for not following the Parenting Plan, or the parent was criminally convicted of custodial interference in the first or second degree

It is not enough that you think your life has improved so much that the child should now live with you.
 

TinkerBelleLuvr

Senior Member
http://app.leg.wa.gov/rcw/default.aspx?cite=26.09.260

Modification of parenting plan or custody decree.

(1) Except as otherwise provided in subsections (4), (5), (6), (8), and (10) of this section, the court shall not modify a prior custody decree or a parenting plan unless it finds, upon the basis of facts that have arisen since the prior decree or plan or that were unknown to the court at the time of the prior decree or plan, that a substantial change has occurred in the circumstances of the child or the nonmoving party and that the modification is in the best interest of the child and is necessary to serve the best interests of the child. The effect of a parent's military duties potentially impacting parenting functions shall not, by itself, be a substantial change of circumstances justifying a permanent modification of a prior decree or plan.

(2) In applying these standards, the court shall retain the residential schedule established by the decree or parenting plan unless:

(a) The parents agree to the modification;

(b) The child has been integrated into the family of the petitioner with the consent of the other parent in substantial deviation from the parenting plan;

(c) The child's present environment is detrimental to the child's physical, mental, or emotional health and the harm likely to be caused by a change of environment is outweighed by the advantage of a change to the child; or

(d) The court has found the nonmoving parent in contempt of court at least twice within three years because the parent failed to comply with the residential time provisions in the court-ordered parenting plan, or the parent has been convicted of custodial interference in the first or second degree under RCW 9A.40.060 or 9A.40.070.

(3) A conviction of custodial interference in the first or second degree under RCW 9A.40.060 or 9A.40.070 shall constitute a substantial change of circumstances for the purposes of this section.

(4) The court may reduce or restrict contact between the child and the parent with whom the child does not reside a majority of the time if it finds that the reduction or restriction would serve and protect the best interests of the child using the criteria in RCW 26.09.191.

(5) The court may order adjustments to the residential aspects of a parenting plan upon a showing of a substantial change in circumstances of either parent or of the child, and without consideration of the factors set forth in subsection (2) of this section, if the proposed modification is only a minor modification in the residential schedule that does not change the residence the child is scheduled to reside in the majority of the time and:

(a) Does not exceed twenty-four full days in a calendar year; or

(b) Is based on a change of residence of the parent with whom the child does not reside the majority of the time or an involuntary change in work schedule by a parent which makes the residential schedule in the parenting plan impractical to follow; or

(c) Does not result in a schedule that exceeds ninety overnights per year in total, if the court finds that, at the time the petition for modification is filed, the decree of dissolution or parenting plan does not provide reasonable time with the parent with whom the child does not reside a majority of the time, and further, the court finds that it is in the best interests of the child to increase residential time with the parent in excess of the residential time period in (a) of this subsection. However, any motion under this subsection (5)(c) is subject to the factors established in subsection (2) of this section if the party bringing the petition has previously been granted a modification under this same subsection within twenty-four months of the current motion. Relief granted under this section shall not be the sole basis for adjusting or modifying child support.

(6) The court may order adjustments to the residential aspects of a parenting plan pursuant to a proceeding to permit or restrain a relocation of the child. The person objecting to the relocation of the child or the relocating person's proposed revised residential schedule may file a petition to modify the parenting plan, including a change of the residence in which the child resides the majority of the time, without a showing of adequate cause other than the proposed relocation itself. A hearing to determine adequate cause for modification shall not be required so long as the request for relocation of the child is being pursued. In making a determination of a modification pursuant to relocation of the child, the court shall first determine whether to permit or restrain the relocation of the child using the procedures and standards provided in RCW 26.09.405 through 26.09.560. Following that determination, the court shall determine what modification pursuant to relocation should be made, if any, to the parenting plan or custody order or visitation order.

(7) A parent with whom the child does not reside a majority of the time and whose residential time with the child is subject to limitations pursuant to RCW 26.09.191 (2) or (3) may not seek expansion of residential time under subsection (5)(c) of this section unless that parent demonstrates a substantial change in circumstances specifically related to the basis for the limitation.

(8)(a) If a parent with whom the child does not reside a majority of the time voluntarily fails to exercise residential time for an extended period, that is, one year or longer, the court upon proper motion may make adjustments to the parenting plan in keeping with the best interests of the minor child.

(b) For the purposes of determining whether the parent has failed to exercise residential time for one year or longer, the court may not count any time periods during which the parent did not exercise residential time due to the effect of the parent's military duties potentially impacting parenting functions.

(9) A parent with whom the child does not reside a majority of the time who is required by the existing parenting plan to complete evaluations, treatment, parenting, or other classes may not seek expansion of residential time under subsection (5)(c) of this section unless that parent has fully complied with such requirements.

(10) The court may order adjustments to any of the nonresidential aspects of a parenting plan upon a showing of a substantial change of circumstances of either parent or of a child, and the adjustment is in the best interest of the child. Adjustments ordered under this section may be made without consideration of the factors set forth in subsection (2) of this section.

(11) If the parent with whom the child resides a majority of the time receives temporary duty, deployment, activation, or mobilization orders from the military that involve moving a substantial distance away from the parent's residence or otherwise would have a material effect on the parent's ability to exercise parenting functions and primary placement responsibilities, then:

(a) Any temporary custody order for the child during the parent's absence shall end no later than ten days after the returning parent provides notice to the temporary custodian, but shall not impair the discretion of the court to conduct an expedited or emergency hearing for resolution of the child's residential placement upon return of the parent and within ten days of the filing of a motion alleging an immediate danger of irreparable harm to the child. If a motion alleging immediate danger has not been filed, the motion for an order restoring the previous residential schedule shall be granted; and

(b) The temporary duty, activation, mobilization, or deployment and the temporary disruption to the child's schedule shall not be a factor in a determination of change of circumstances if a motion is filed to transfer residential placement from the parent who is a military service member.

(12) If a parent receives military temporary duty, deployment, activation, or mobilization orders that involve moving a substantial distance away from the military parent's residence or otherwise have a material effect on the military parent's ability to exercise residential time or visitation rights, at the request of the military parent, the court may delegate the military parent's residential time or visitation rights, or a portion thereof, to a child's family member, including a stepparent, or another person other than a parent, with a close and substantial relationship to the minor child for the duration of the military parent's absence, if delegating residential time or visitation rights is in the child's best interest. The court may not permit the delegation of residential time or visitation rights to a person who would be subject to limitations on residential time under RCW 26.09.191. The parties shall attempt to resolve disputes regarding delegation of residential time or visitation rights through the dispute resolution process specified in their parenting plan, unless excused by the court for good cause shown. Such a court-ordered temporary delegation of a military parent's residential time or visitation rights does not create separate rights to residential time or visitation for a person other than a parent.

(13) If the court finds that a motion to modify a prior decree or parenting plan has been brought in bad faith, the court shall assess the attorney's fees and court costs of the nonmoving parent against the moving party.
 

TinkerBelleLuvr

Senior Member
So your X wants to get custody of the child (youngest I assume here) to then MOVE her to another school, etc? And that is in her best interests because?
 

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