Another Custody Hearing Again

[HOPENDEN]

What is the name of your state? Arkansas

Good Morning! I need opinions and advice on this current situation, whether it be good or bad.

I sent the children to Arkansas for their standard summer visitation with Dad. Everything was going smoothly, so I thought. This is what has happened within a week.

I received a Motion To Modify Custody, this is just for the oldest child, in the motion the attorney states that "Circumstances have materially and substantially changed to justify modification." I have been racking my brains out to figure out what has substantially changed.

About 3 days ago the opposing side asked the Judge to sign an ex parte order to enroll the oldest child into school, the judge denied it, and the opposing side again asked the judge to sign the ex parte order and again it was denied. A court date was granted, August 28th.
I was told by the father that the 14 year old wanted to live there, and not return home.

Just to back track a bit, we were in court last year (August 23rd) I was given custody of the oldest child again, the GAL said that it was in the best interest of the child to remain with me and not with the father.

Do I just let it go or continue to argue this motion? Please any and all information would be great.What is the name of your state?

[LdiJ]

Originally Posted by HOPENDEN

What is the name of your state? Arkansas

Good Morning! I need opinions and advice on this current situation, whether it be good or bad.

I sent the children to Arkansas for their standard summer visitation with Dad. Everything was going smoothly, so I thought. This is what has happened within a week.

I received a Motion To Modify Custody, this is just for the oldest child, in the motion the attorney states that "Circumstances have materially and substantially changed to justify modification." I have been racking my brains out to figure out what has substantially changed.

About 3 days ago the opposing side asked the Judge to sign an ex parte order to enroll the oldest child into school, the judge denied it, and the opposing side again asked the judge to sign the ex parte order and again it was denied. A court date was granted, August 28th.
I was told by the father that the 14 year old wanted to live there, and not return home.

Just to back track a bit, we were in court last year (August 23rd) I was given custody of the oldest child again, the GAL said that it was in the best interest of the child to remain with me and not with the father.

Do I just let it go or continue to argue this motion? Please any and all information would be great.What is the name of your state?

Is this going to happen every summer? Does the child really want to live with dad so badly that you will repeat this every year? Is dad an equally fit parent?

Although a child should not get to be deciding who gets custody, the child's wishes have to factor into this to at least some extent.....at least in terms of you deciding what to do.

[weenor]

Originally Posted by HOPENDEN

What is the name of your state? Arkansas
I sent the children to Arkansas for their standard summer visitation with Dad.

In what state have the most recent custody ORDERS been issued? Where is the most recent stuff been filed?

[HOPENDEN]

Yes this does happen every summer, and just before visitation I have to fight tooth and nail to put the children on the flight, especially the oldest. We are always having the same conversation, " I don't want to go, dad is always asking me to live here" and I always reply the same way, " You have no choice in what you want, and just respectfully explain to dad that you do not wish to discuss this".
I have spoken to the child if this is what he wanted, response: " Dad wants me to live with him because I am his boy and I don't want to hurt him"
At this point mouth has dropped to the ground.

The dad is a lot of things in this world but one thing he isn't is a bad father. I do have my personal opinion of him, but that is all it is just my opinion. I wish that I could say bad things about his parentage, but morally and legally there really isn't anything.

I know that dad loves the children, but in my opinion only, I sometime have to question the fact if he does have the children's best interest, to answer the question if dad is equally fit?
In someways he is.

Is dad a bad person? No
Does he love the children? No doubt in my mind

Is he sensitive to the fact that he is putting the children in a position that makes them choose and having to deal with which parent to hurt? No he isn't

Is he treating the children as Pawns? Maybe

If I knew that this is what our oldest child really wanted, then lord yes I would let it go. I thank you so much for asking me this question, it has made search deep and hard.

[CJane]

Didn't dad have custody of the oldest at one point?