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  1. #1
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    Arkansas NonCohabitation?

    What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Arkansas


    I am getting ready for my final hearing on my divorce in June, after over 18 months of well, divorce crap.

    I have custody of the 2 children and will likely retain said custody at the final hearing.

    I have heard Arkansas has a no-cohabitation law once I am divorced and have custody. Herein lies the question...

    I have a new baby with my fiance, who also has custody of his son from a prior marriage. We do not want to get married right away, but would like to live together so baby can have both parents under one roof.

    How would that apply to the non-cohabitation order I will be under? Is new baby screwed because we have kids from our previous marriages? We will eventually be getting married, it is just not a concern at the moment while we build our new family.
  2. #2
    Silverplum is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by mommymushbrain View Post
    What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Arkansas


    I am getting ready for my final hearing on my divorce in June, after over 18 months of well, divorce crap.

    I have custody of the 2 children and will likely retain said custody at the final hearing.

    I have heard Arkansas has a no-cohabitation law once I am divorced and have custody. Herein lies the question...

    I have a new baby with my fiance, who also has custody of his son from a prior marriage. We do not want to get married right away, but would like to live together so baby can have both parents under one roof.

    How would that apply to the non-cohabitation order I will be under? Is new baby screwed because we have kids from our previous marriages? We will eventually be getting married, it is just not a concern at the moment while we build our new family.
    http://courts.state.ar.us/opinions/2007a/20070411/ca06-110.pdf
    Arkansas’ appellate courts have steadfastly upheld lower courts’ orders that
    prohibit parents from allowing romantic partners to stay or reside in the home when the children are present. These courts have never condoned a parent’s promiscuous conduct or lifestyle when such lifestyle has been in the presence of a child. Trial courts continue to hold that cohabitation without the benefit of marriage is an important factor in considering what is in the best interest of the child and extra-marital cohabitation has never been condoned, as it is contrary to the public policy of promoting a stable environment for children.

    http://www.hrc.org/issues/parenting/957.htm
    2001's Taylor v. Taylor
    After a hearing, the court ordered that custody remain with the mother on the condition that her partner left the home. The state Supreme Court affirmed this order, stating, “Arkansas case law simply has never condoned a parent's unmarried cohabitation … when such conduct is in the presence of a child.”

    1987 case, Thigpen v. Carpenter
    the appellate court pointed out that the trial court correctly noted, “Arkansas courts have never condoned a parent's promiscuous conduct or lifestyle when such conduct has been in the presence
    of the children.” Furthermore, the appellate court noted that Arkansas courts have always presumed that illicit sexual conduct on the part of the custodial parent is detrimental.
  3. #3
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    Thank you for the actual links

    It's quite ironic, the actual wording I was given was that my children and his child would be put in an "unwholesome" environment should we "cohabitate"... however, is it not unwholesome for OUR son to have his parents living apart?

    The baby lives with me, my children are establishing a wonderful relationship with their new brother. His son does not get that advantage other than when we visit each other.
  4. #4
    ecmst12 is offline Senior Member
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    Option: Live as you like. If your first child's dad decides to take you to court for violating the (stupid, overstepping, archaic) non cohabitation order, just get married then. If dad doesn't make it an issue, then it's not an issue.

    Edit: Apparently I misread. It is up to your boyfriend whether he wants to risk violating HIS non cohabitation order and having mom take him to court. You still have the option to get married later before it would get to court. You don't need a big extravagant wedding in order to get legally married and enjoy all the benefits and protections of it.

    Edit again: OK I read again and now I'm just confused!
    Last edited by ecmst12; 05-13-2010 at 11:49 AM.
  5. #5
    futuredust is offline Senior Member
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    It will depend which county you are in and which judge, and if there is a "no paramour" in your final court orders.

    If there is a no paramour in your final orders, and you are in a small town, get married or live apart, if you wish to keep custody.

    My sister lost custody over this, and the boyfriend had already moved out and had been out of the picture for months by the time she was in court. That coupled with her being registered online on several dating sites.. dad was remarried and it was decided by the court that due to moms immoral behavior and dads new found stability, custody should change.
  6. #6
    sometwo is offline Senior Member
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    It will depend which county you are in and which judge, and if there is a "no paramour" in your final court orders.
    Some states even if its not in the court order still have the no cohabitation laws. Meaning that even if its not written specifically in the court order you can still be in trouble for it.

    ETA: Since this was posted
    Arkansas’ appellate courts have steadfastly upheld lower courts’ orders that
    prohibit parents from allowing romantic partners to stay or reside in the home when the children are present
    I would assume this would be one of them.
  7. #7
    Gail in Georgia is offline Senior Member
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    Doesn't anyone actually get DIVORCED and/or married any longer before they produce more children?

    Possum women...

    Gail
  8. #8
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    ecmst12... it would be both of us "violating" a noncohabitation "law", since we are both the custodial parents of our own children, even though we also have a child together. And I had been told that if the non-custodial parents don't make an issue of the cohabitation, there's nothing to worry about... but I'm sure ours would make it an issues "just because".


    Quote Originally Posted by Gail in Georgia View Post
    Doesn't anyone actually get DIVORCED and/or married any longer before they produce more children?

    Possum women...

    Gail
    I'll just have an abortion next time my birth control fails, m'kay?
  9. #9
    Proserpina is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by mommymushbrain View Post
    ecmst12... it would be both of us "violating" a noncohabitation "law", since we are both the custodial parents of our own children, even though we also have a child together. And I had been told that if the non-custodial parents don't make an issue of the cohabitation, there's nothing to worry about... but I'm sure ours would make it an issues "just because".




    I'll just have an abortion next time my birth control fails, m'kay?


    Oh come on, don't cop an attitude like that. You're a big girl - you know that sex = risk of pregnancy.

    (You've done it before )

    If you don't want to take the risk of having a child out of wedlock, you can do several things. Get married. Don't have sex. Get fixed. If none of these appeal, there's always adoption. And yes, abortion is a valid option.

    Y'know?

    You've committed to having a child with this guy - you guys aren't ready to commit to each other?

    /end completely objective unbiased third party post.
  10. #10
    Silverplum is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by mommymushbrain View Post
    ecmst12... it would be both of us "violating" a noncohabitation "law", since we are both the custodial parents of our own children, even though we also have a child together.
    Doesn't matter. The law is very clear.

    Quote Originally Posted by mommymushbrain
    And I had been told
    By a local attorney who specializes in family law?

    Quote Originally Posted by mommymushbrain
    that if the non-custodial parents don't make an issue of the cohabitation, there's nothing to worry about... but I'm sure ours would make it an issues "just because".
    Again. The law is very clear.

    If you paint a target on your back and someone shoots you dead center, I kinda think it was the target-painter who was dumb. The shooter is merely a good shooter who uses opportunity as it arises.

    Quote Originally Posted by mommymushbrain
    I'll just have an abortion next time my birth control fails, m'kay?
    No need to be obnoxious.

    You're here asking for free help. You got it, in spades. Be nice.
  11. #11
    Proserpina is offline Senior Member
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    Um...

    ..one other thing.


    Mom, you realize that your husband is actually your baby's legal father, right?

    I do hope you plan to get his paternity disestablished....
    Last edited by Proserpina; 05-13-2010 at 01:42 PM.
  12. #12
    futuredust is offline Senior Member
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    It's very possible there would not have been
    over 18 months of well, divorce crap
    had she not been pregnant while married to another man and seeking a divorce.

    Which brings up an excellent point, has this new baby's parentage been addressed in the divorce?
  13. #13
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    Yes the parentage has already been settled out of court as my soon to be ex has already signed the denial of paternity and it has been filed through vital records, the child support office, and our jurisdiction via my lawyer.

    No the pregnancy is not what has tied this up for 18 months.

    Silverplum, yes my lawyer is specialized in family law and is who stated that as long as neither party considers it an issue, cohabitation would not be a problem.
  14. #14
    The_Non-Mom is offline Member
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    Just....wow. So the OP essentially has to keep custody of her older child by forcing her younger child to live without both parents in the home?

    OP, was the sex really worth the situation you have put your children in?
  15. #15
    Proserpina is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by The_Non-Mom View Post
    Just....wow. So the OP essentially has to keep custody of her older child by forcing her younger child to live without both parents in the home?

    OP, was the sex really worth the situation you have put your children in?


    She could always get married....


    Which would solve the problem entirely.

    ETA: if you have a lawyer, why are you here?

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