army child custody related question

[CeeP3oh]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? i live in california and he lives in TX.

last year, my son and i were going to join him in TX till i found out he cheated on me and got the girl pregnant.

my ex and i are currently finalizing the divorce. i read the decree and it is straight joint custody. from the start of the divorce till now (my ex and i are filing it in TX), he has not given me the full amount of child support nor does he call his son. he visited my son once during christmas which i had to make him come out to see him. my son is with me at all times (other than when im at work), i feed, clothe and teach him. i provide everything for my son and i work my hardest to maintain his health and happiness.

my son is turning 3, he has not asked for or about his father since december. now my ex wants to see my son. i understand that this is a joint custody divorce, but im afraid my ex's presence or my son toggling between two households will disrupt his life.

i want to have full custody of my child. do you think i'll get granted this?

 

[penelope10]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? i live in california and he lives in TX.

last year, we were going to join him in TX till i found out he cheated on me and got the girl pregnant.

we are currently finalizing the divorce. i read the decree and it is straight joint custody. from the start of the divorce till now, he has not given me the full amount of child support nor does he call his son. he visited my son once during christmas which i had to make him come out to see him. my son is with me at all times (other than when im at work), i feed, clothe and teach him. i provide everything for my son and i work my hardest to maintain his health and happiness.

my son is turning 3, he has not asked for or about his father since december. now my ex wants to see my son. i understand that this is a joint custody divorce, but im afraid my ex's presence or my son toggling between two households will disrupt my his life.

i want to have full custody of my child. do you think i'll get granted this?

No. First of all visitation is a right. It's a shame that Dad chose not to exercise that right in the past, but he wishes to do so now. Failure to pay child support is a separate issue from visitation. Why are you filing in TX, sounds like neither you nor your son are residents of the state, and that you never lived there.

 

[CeeP3oh]

he filed for the divorce in TX. i didnt have the money to file it.

how can i get him to pay his full child support amount? he keeps telling me that the army messed up his paychecks and claims that he's constantly short. this month he's $100 short on child support.

 

[Ohiogal]

he filed for the divorce in TX. i didnt have the money to file it.

how can i get him to pay his full child support amount? he keeps telling me that the army messed up his paychecks and claims that he's constantly short. this month he's $100 short on child support.

YOu take him to court in Texas for contempt. But you still do NOT get to deny him visitation.

 

[Ohiogal]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? i live in california and he lives in TX.

last year, my son and i were going to join him in TX till i found out he cheated on me and got the girl pregnant.

Okay.

my ex and i are currently finalizing the divorce. i read the decree and it is straight joint custody. from the start of the divorce till now (my ex and i are filing it in TX),

You never should have consented to jurisdiction in Texas.

he has not given me the full amount of child support

File a motion to show cause before the divorce is finalized.

nor does he call his son. he visited my son once during christmas which i had to make him come out to see him. my son is with me at all times (other than when im at work), i feed, clothe and teach him. i provide everything for my son and i work my hardest to maintain his health and happiness.

He doesn't call HIS son but the rest is MY MY MY MY MY. Lady you are stuck with him forever. You need to realize that HE is daddy to your (plural) son. NOT just YOUR son. Remove the MY from your vocabulary. How often have you had HIS son call HIM?

my son is turning 3, he has not asked for or about his father since december.

HIS SON is turning 3. CHildren that age are out of sight out of mind.

now my ex wants to see my son. i understand that this is a joint custody divorce, but im afraid my ex's presence or my son toggling between two households will disrupt his life.

Then you don't agree to that plan. But you don't get to decide that you don't like it and go against court orders. Try this phrase "OUR SON".

i want to have full custody of my child. do you think i'll get granted this?

not if you have signed papers finalizing the divorce and it states joint custody.

 

[Newlydivmomto4]

Okay, newbie chiming in w/ her 2cents.

First, in California you can file hardship to waive the fees for filing, so that line of "I didn't have the money" is bs.

Second, if your stbx is not sending you child support be it court ordered or not and he is active duty military, give him a certain amount of days to send the money or go to his command. The military does not look kindly on deadbeat dads. When my ex was 1k behind on his half of the childcare I told him I expected the amount by a certain date or I would go to his command. The money was transferred w/in days.

Third, Grow up, stop whining about how your life sucks. You made your bed now sleep in it. You have the responsibility of a child to take care of.

 

[SimplyMom]

he filed for the divorce in TX. i didnt have the money to file it.

how can i get him to pay his full child support amount? he keeps telling me that the army messed up his paychecks and claims that he's constantly short. this month he's $100 short on child support.

There is a minimum amount he is obligated to pay by the military, this is generally the extra money he receives for dependants. Often times this amount is lower than what would be ordered by the court. If there is no current court order then all he would be forced to pay would be his extra dependant pay.

So, you need to figure out if he is paying the minimum he's required to by the military, if he's not then contact his command and they will take action. If he is already paying that, and you don't have a court order for a larger amount, then you're out of luck until then.

As far as him popping in and out of your (both of your) son's life, legally he has that right.

On a personal note, from someone who's dealt with it in the past, make it as easy as you can for him to see your son when he wants to as long as it's within the confines of your custody agreement. Suck it up, because having a relationship with his father will benefit your son in the long run (unless he's crazy or abusive, etc). No, people shouldn't have to force the issue with NCP exercising visitation, but making it more difficult on them isn't just hurting the NCP, it's hurting the child, too.

 

[CeeP3oh]

You never should have consented to jurisdiction in Texas.
QUOTE]

why is that?

 

[CeeP3oh]

First, in California you can file hardship to waive the fees for filing, so that line of "I didn't have the money" is bs.

Third, Grow up, stop whining about how your life sucks. You made your bed now sleep in it. You have the responsibility of a child to take care of.

1. i did not know that till AFTER the fact.

2. how am i whining about how my life sucks? my life is way better compared to his life. i take care of my child to the best of my ability. how did i make this bed? i didnt do anything, HE made bed for me and NOW i have to sleep in it.

there is no need to make catty or snide remarks. we are all adults here, so lets act like it.

 

[Ohiogal]

You never should have consented to jurisdiction in Texas.
QUOTE]

why is that?

Because you and the child live in CA and have never been residents of TX and hence without your consent TX would not have had the legal right to hear the case. But you didn't fight it before now and you are about to finalize, you have WAIVED that issue.

 

[Ohiogal]

1. i did not know that till AFTER the fact.

2. how am i whining about how my life sucks? my life is way better compared to his life. i take care of my child to the best of my ability. how did i make this bed? i didnt do anything, HE made bed for me and NOW i have to sleep in it.

there is no need to make catty or snide remarks. we are all adults here, so lets act like it.

QUIT calling the child MY child. He should be OUR child. Put that phrase into your vocabulary and use it OFTEN.

 

[CeeP3oh]

So, you need to figure out if he is paying the minimum he's required to by the military, if he's not then contact his command and they will take action. If he is already paying that, and you don't have a court order for a larger amount, then you're out of luck until then.

On a personal note, from someone who's dealt with it in the past, make it as easy as you can for him to see your son when he wants to as long as it's within the confines of your custody agreement. Suck it up, because having a relationship with his father will benefit your son in the long run (unless he's crazy or abusive, etc). No, people shouldn't have to force the issue with NCP exercising visitation, but making it more difficult on them isn't just hurting the NCP, it's hurting the child, too.

how do i figure this amount out?

and thank you for the advice.

 

[CeeP3oh]

QUIT calling the child MY child. He should be OUR child. Put that phrase into your vocabulary and use it OFTEN.

sorry, force of habit through anger.

 

[Newlydivmomto4]

1. i did not know that till AFTER the fact.

2. how am i whining about how my life sucks? my life is way better compared to his life. i take care of my child to the best of my ability. how did i make this bed? i didnt do anything, HE made bed for me and NOW i have to sleep in it.

there is no need to make catty or snide remarks. we are all adults here, so lets act like it.

Oh gosh, he raped you? Then why didn't you press charges?

 

[CeeP3oh]

Because you and the child live in CA and have never been residents of TX and hence without your consent TX would not have had the legal right to hear the case. But you didn't fight it before now and you are about to finalize, you have WAIVED that issue.

so would that mean that we (our divorce) would fall under the TX laws instead of california?