Autism & Lies

[Mnemosyne]

Please quote the language from the court order giving you and your boyfriend joint custody of his son with another woman.

My boyfriend and I have had custody of his son since 2004 when his mother gave him to us because she felt she needed to focus on herself.

 

[Antigone*]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? CA
My boyfriend and I have had custody of his son since 2004 when his mother gave him to us because she felt she needed to focus on herself. He is now 15 and since we retained custody we found out he has a mild form of Autism, which makes him mentally about the age of of 11-12 yr. His mother has played no part in his treatment or school, nor did she even know what his disablility was. She has lied in the past with another custody and with another ex which I have the newspaper article stating she admitted she lied about abuse to just get custody of her child. Which she does not have custody of him either. Now she is wanting him back & has the child saying he feels abused by his father when he is in trouble and that his dad drinks around him. This child is very acceptable to what people tell him. He doesnt even have a concept of time. something can happed a yr ago and he thinks it was yesterday. But then he doesnt remember to brush his teeth on a daily basis. We live in one county and his mother has moved to another county now, which she wants to take him too. She has not been to school meeting since 2002 for him. Its been me and his father the whole time. She has been in about 7 unstable relationships in 10 yrs now and several of them have been abusive. We are scared any advise will help. We have never asked her for child support since we have had custody. Can we ask for it now? Can she move him to another county without our permission?

I'd love to see the court order stating that a legal stranger has custody of this child. While dad has custody ~ you most certainly do not.

I'm not sure that dad would be happy that you (a legal stranger) is airing his dirty laundry on the internet. Please ask him to come ask us for himself.

 

[Jasgal]

Wow

I didnt mean to make people upset here, His father has legal custody, yes... I am not airing his dirty laundry online. I love this boy so much and have been there for him. We are scared. We were up all night last night worried. she has no clue about his conditional and special needs. So for you to be so rude to me is uncalled for. We are just wanting some guidance so please dont bash me for loving this child and worring about him.

 

[Antigone*]

I didnt mean to make people upset here, His father has legal custody, yes... I am not airing his dirty laundry online. I love this boy so much and have been there for him. We are scared. We were up all night last night worried. she has no clue about his conditional and special needs. So for you to be so rude to me is uncalled for. We are just wanting some guidance so please dont bash me for loving this child and worring about him.

You think we were hard????

Take your plea to a judge and see what you get.

 

[Jasgal]

Ok, so did I make a mistake here. I really thought this was to help out. I am not in court right now. I did not realize I was asking to be attacked here. I know how hard a judge can be I have been there, and I also respect the court system. I was just hoping someone here would be kind enough to shead some light on direction here. Again sorry.

 

[Ohiogal]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? CA
My boyfriend and I have had custody of his son since 2004 when his mother gave him to us because she felt she needed to focus on herself.

You DO not have custody. Your boyfriend has custody. YOU are NOT even a stepparent.

He is now 15 and since we retained custody we found out he has a mild form of Autism, which makes him mentally about the age of of 11-12 yr. His mother has played no part in his treatment or school, nor did she even know what his disablility was.

What steps has DAD taken to involve mom in her son's life? And again you have NOT retained custody. YOU are over involved and intrusive.

She has lied in the past with another custody and with another ex which I have the newspaper article stating she admitted she lied about abuse to just get custody of her child. Which she does not have custody of him either. Now she is wanting him back & has the child saying he feels abused by his father when he is in trouble and that his dad drinks around him.

She has a right to petition for custody and increased visitation.

This child is very acceptable to what people tell him.

The word is "susceptible" and what does the child call you?

He doesnt even have a concept of time. something can happed a yr ago and he thinks it was yesterday. But then he doesnt remember to brush his teeth on a daily basis.

Really? And dad hasn't worked with him? If he is mentally the age of an 11-12 year old he should be able to remember to brush his teeth.

We live in one county and his mother has moved to another county now, which she wants to take him too. She has not been to school meeting since 2002 for him. Its been me and his father the whole time.

Boy are you overstepping. Are you listed on the child's school records? Do you make decisions regarding the child's schooling?

She has been in about 7 unstable relationships in 10 yrs now and several of them have been abusive. We are scared any advise will help. We have never asked her for child support since we have had custody.

YOU do NOT have custody. YOU can cause dad to lose custody however.

Can we ask for it now? Can she move him to another county without our permission?

You cannot ask for anything and mom doesn't need YOUR permission for anything dealing with HER son.

 

[Ohiogal]

I didnt mean to make people upset here, His father has legal custody, yes... I am not airing his dirty laundry online. I love this boy so much and have been there for him. We are scared. We were up all night last night worried. she has no clue about his conditional and special needs. So for you to be so rude to me is uncalled for. We are just wanting some guidance so please dont bash me for loving this child and worring about him.

For you to be overstepping when you are a legal stranger can cause dad to lose custody. You have no right to be posting on the internet regarding this child.

 

[Zigner]

I can't get over this bed-warmer posting about "stability" in relationships, when she isn't in one to begin with!

 

[CJane]

I can't get over this bed-warmer posting about "stability" in relationships, when she isn't in one to begin with!

I have a hard time with every poster who acts as if their relationship is inherently stable because they live together/are engaged/share a child/have been together for years/are married/etc.

Presumably, at least some of those things were true in previous relationships for BOTH parties, or there wouldn't BE kids to fight over.

My ex used to pull that junk. Until I pointed out the stupidness of telling the person you used to be married to that your relationship with your new spouse is inherently stable because you're married.

 

[dannyt]

butt out

I didnt mean to make people upset here, His father has legal custody, yes... I am not airing his dirty laundry online. I love this boy so much and have been there for him. We are scared. We were up all night last night worried. she has no clue about his conditional and special needs. So for you to be so rude to me is uncalled for. We are just wanting some guidance so please dont bash me for loving this child and worring about him.

for you to ask questions about a matter that doesnt legally concern you is uncalled for. it doesnt matter how much you love this child, you need to let dad deal with those issues and stay out of it before it causes him problems.you have no rights say or standing it comes to this child. you are dad;s current bed warmer, not mom.and btw, what mom does or doesnt do is also none of your business.

 

[proudfatherof1]

OP, how long have you and the father of the child been together? How long have you been a part of this childs life? How long has dad been CP of this child?

The reason I ask is because, although some may be quick to be harsh and rude, if you tend to this childs daily physical and emotional needs then you have every right (in my book, not court) to be concerned with what is going to happen with that child.

Seeing as this is an internet forum and not a courtroom, I do not think anyone has the right to Judge or be so harsh to someone asking a question if it effects that persons life as well.. You said the child is 15, so if you have helped raised this child for the last 7 or 8 years (if dad has had custody that long) then I believe you should be shown a little bit more respect then being called a "bed warmer".

A lot of the Seniors on here give good advice. Others can be very rude. However, dad should be concerned enough to at least post his own questions on the subject. You are not a step-parent to this child yet. I do agree (although I would put it nicely) that you need to step back and let Dad handle his custody issues with the child and the childs mother.

 

[Ohiogal]

OP, how long have you and the father of the child been together? How long have you been a part of this childs life? How long has dad been CP of this child?

The reason I ask is because, although some may be quick to be harsh and rude, if you tend to this childs daily physical and emotional needs then you have every right (in my book, not court) to be concerned with what is going to happen with that child.

And legally HER attitude can cause dad to lose custody. Especially if she is on school paperwork, doctor's paperwork, and other forms as a guardian (she is NOT) or if the child calls her mom or various other things.

Seeing as this is an internet forum and not a courtroom, I do not think anyone has the right to Judge or be so harsh to someone asking a question if it effects that persons life as well..

This is a LEGAL forum. The purpose of this forum is to deal with the LEGALITIES and NOT the mushies. If you want to deal with the mushies that is in the googly butterfly in the stomach forum four sites down and to the left.

You said the child is 15, so if you have helped raised this child for the last 7 or 8 years (if dad has had custody that long) then I believe you should be shown a little bit more respect then being called a "bed warmer".

Oh well. Your opinion matters not. She is NOTHING but a bed warmer. LEGALLY she has no say so and no rights. She is a LEGAL STRANGER. End of story.

A lot of the Seniors on here give good advice. Others can be very rude. However, dad should be concerned enough to at least post his own questions on the subject. You are not a step-parent to this child yet.

After 10 years she is still a girlfriend. I wouldn't hold my breath on her EVER being a stepparent -- not that stepparents have ANY rights to their step children.

I do agree (although I would put it nicely) that you need to step back and let Dad handle his custody issues with the child and the childs mother.

Your lovey dovey attitude is noted.

 

[proudfatherof1]

And legally HER attitude can cause dad to lose custody. Especially if she is on school paperwork, doctor's paperwork, and other forms as a guardian (she is NOT) or if the child calls her mom or various other things.




This is a LEGAL forum. The purpose of this forum is to deal with the LEGALITIES and NOT the mushies. If you want to deal with the mushies that is in the googly butterfly in the stomach forum four sites down and to the left.





Oh well. Your opinion matters not. She is NOTHING but a bed warmer. LEGALLY she has no say so and no rights. She is a LEGAL STRANGER. End of story.



After 10 years she is still a girlfriend. I wouldn't hold my breath on her EVER being a stepparent -- not that stepparents have ANY rights to their step children.


Your lovey dovey attitude is noted.

I dont need you to "note" anything for me If you want to get all particular about the Law then she is a Legal Stranger (yes) but no Judge would ever call her a "bed warmer".. You name call others and say "well that is the kind of stuff that will happen in a courtroom".. Yet I have never heard a Judge be cruel and call someone a "bed warmer"

Who cares if she has been with him for 10 years and is not married. She lives with him. She helps him care for his son. She is not going into a courtroom and standing in front of a Judge and saying all this.. She is on here asking what her boyfriend can do..

Now if she had only been in the boyfriends and childs life for 5 months or a year or so then I would agree.. However that is not the case. Also at no point has she yet to say the child calls her mom or anything like that.

All the name calling and assuming that you do on here are your opinions.. And my opinion is that you are very rude 90% of the time and think just because you hold a law degree in OHIO that it gives you the right to put people down and be nasty.

I guess I am just one of those Military Fools fighting for your right to be rude to people on a public forum.. and since this is a public forum for ADVICE, then she has a right to ask. Because I fight for her right to do that as well

 

[Antigone*]

I dont need you to "note" anything for me If you want to get all particular about the Law then she is a Legal Stranger (yes) but no Judge would ever call her a "bed warmer".. You name call others and say "well that is the kind of stuff that will happen in a courtroom".. Yet I have never heard a Judge be cruel and call someone a "bed warmer"

Who cares if she has been with him for 10 years and is not married. She lives with him. She helps him care for his son. She is not going into a courtroom and standing in front of a Judge and saying all this.. She is on here asking what her boyfriend can do..

Now if she had only been in the boyfriends and childs life for 5 months or a year or so then I would agree.. However that is not the case. Also at no point has she yet to say the child calls her mom or anything like that.

All the name calling and assuming that you do on here are your opinions.. And my opinion is that you are very rude 90% of the time and think just because you hold a law degree in OHIO that it gives you the right to put people down and be nasty.

I guess I am just one of those Military Fools fighting for your right to be rude to people on a public forum.. and since this is a public forum for ADVICE, then she has a right to ask. Because I fight for her right to do that as well

You are making quite the ASSumption.

 

[Ohiogal]

I dont need you to "note" anything for me If you want to get all particular about the Law then she is a Legal Stranger (yes) but no Judge would ever call her a "bed warmer".. You name call others and say "well that is the kind of stuff that will happen in a courtroom".. Yet I have never heard a Judge be cruel and call someone a "bed warmer"

I have. And I can bet I have been in the courtroom more often than you have.

Who cares if she has been with him for 10 years and is not married. She lives with him. She helps him care for his son. She is not going into a courtroom and standing in front of a Judge and saying all this.. She is on here asking what her boyfriend can do..

This is a LEGAL forum.

Now if she had only been in the boyfriends and childs life for 5 months or a year or so then I would agree.. However that is not the case. Also at no point has she yet to say the child calls her mom or anything like that.

Nor has she actually answered that question. Notice?

All the name calling and assuming that you do on here are your opinions.. And my opinion is that you are very rude 90% of the time and think just because you hold a law degree in OHIO that it gives you the right to put people down and be nasty.

Oh well.

I guess I am just one of those Military Fools fighting for your right to be rude to people on a public forum.. and since this is a public forum for ADVICE, then she has a right to ask. Because I fight for her right to do that as well

Oh by the way, I am defending the constitution just as you are. My battles happen to be in a courtroom. But it is still a defense of what the Constitution stands for. You might consider that before you get a high and mighty attitude.