back fire if i keep my daughter and let my ex sue me for her back ?

[SnakZ]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? MD

First off im the dad. There no court order and my name is on the bath paper.
I have the baby (girl age 3) on the weekends and when things go crazy i end up taking her during the week. Things have been a bit crazy as she not living in a good place my ex is not the best mom.... There is a lot of back story to this all if u like to hear it maybe to just pass time then im happy to tell u lol.

Any way i been talking to lawyer and trying to get my ex to give me full custody as i can better take care of her. But she wants it her way and tells me no and gets mad every time.

My girlfriend mom said maybe i should just keep her and not bring her back and let her sue me. But i hear that its best if i was to do the sue-ing first.

What I'm afraid of is if she does get her hands back on her i think that it would make it even harder for me to get her back.

I got to this point bc my ex didnt tell any one she was leaving for work and just left not making sure someone was watching our kid i get a call later on after work from her telling me that everyone in the home will be leaving and i need to get there before everyone leaves I get there and everyone is still there (damn smokers ...) I find out from the my ex that our baby at one point was alone for 20min .....


ty you for any help you all may give and sorry if this has already been posted

 

[ecmst12]

Yes, that would backfire. Right now, you have NO custody. You don't have any rights to keep the child until you go to court and get an order with scheduled parenting time. And if mom has been primary parent for the past 3 years, you are not going to get primary custody unless mom agrees to it. Leaving a 3 year old alone for 20 minutes is not a reason to change custody.

 

[Proserpina]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? MD

First off im the dad. There no court order and my name is on the bath paper.
I have the baby (girl age 3) on the weekends and when things go crazy i end up taking her during the week. Things have been a bit crazy as she not living in a good place my ex is not the best mom.... There is a lot of back story to this all if u like to hear it maybe to just pass time then im happy to tell u lol.

Any way i been talking to lawyer and trying to get my ex to give me full custody as i can better take care of her. But she wants it her way and tells me no and gets mad every time.

My girlfriend mom said maybe i should just keep her and not bring her back and let her sue me. But i hear that its best if i was to do the sue-ing first.

What I'm afraid of is if she does get her hands back on her i think that it would make it even harder for me to get her back.

I got to this point bc my ex didnt tell any one she was leaving for work and just left not making sure someone was watching our kid i get a call later on after work from her telling me that everyone in the home will be leaving and i need to get there before everyone leaves I get there and everyone is still there (damn smokers ...) I find out from the my ex that our baby at one point was alone for 20min .....


ty you for any help you all may give and sorry if this has already been posted

First things first. Your girlfriend's Mom is either a twit, or trying to get you into trouble. Because without court orders, you have absolutely no right to keep the child against Mom's wishes - at this point, Mom is the ONLY custodial parent.

I'm sure the attorney would have told you something similar. Listen to the attorney and file for custody. Custody will be determined based upon the best interest of the child - and withholding the child from the other parent unless it's a dire emergency is NOT in the child's best interest.

Think about it, Dad. It's not impossible for you to be the primary parent - but it's very easy for you to mess things up.

 

[SnakZ]

Yes, that would backfire. Right now, you have NO custody. You don't have any rights to keep the child until you go to court and get an order with scheduled parenting time. And if mom has been primary parent for the past 3 years, you are not going to get primary custody unless mom agrees to it. Leaving a 3 year old alone for 20 minutes is not a reason to change custody.

about the 3 year part :
we broke up where i had her most of the time in the year 2009 we ended up getting back to together at some point then we broke up again and i ended up having her almost all the time up unto the start of 2011 when i started working again.

Would this info help me at all and what type of proof would i need ?

and i ty u all for stopping me from making a bit mistake and it is still hard for a dad to get custody. unless there 100% video/tape proof lol


and no rights even after i sign the birth certificate ? i had believe that give me some type of rights lol

 

[ecmst12]

You have a lawyer. Please let him/her guide you.

 

[Proserpina]

about the 3 year part :
we broke up where i had her most of the time in the year 2009 we ended up getting back to together at some point then we broke up again and i ended up having her almost all the time up unto the start of 2011 when i started working again.

Would this info help me at all and what type of proof would i need ?

and i ty u all for stopping me from making a bit mistake and it is still hard for a dad to get custody. unless there 100% video/tape proof lol


and no rights even after i sign the birth certificate ? i had believe that give me some type of rights lol

If you wanted the same custodial rights as Mom from the get-go, you needed to have been married to Mom when the child was born. Or, live in one of the states that does confer equal rights upon paternity being established (yours isn't one of them).

As it stands, you need to go to court to get those rights.

What is important is, for example, how many overnights the child has spent with you versus Mom during the past year. Things like that.

Please read the forums, too. You need to start learning about how all of this works, and what the courts are and aren't looking for.

You can do this yourself if you're willing to learn, but at this point I think an attorney is probably your best bet.

At least for now.

 

[Isis1]

about the 3 year part :
we broke up where i had her most of the time in the year 2009 we ended up getting back to together at some point then we broke up again and i ended up having her almost all the time up unto the start of 2011 when i started working again.

Would this info help me at all and what type of proof would i need ?

and i ty u all for stopping me from making a bit mistake and it is still hard for a dad to get custody. unless there 100% video/tape proof lol


and no rights even after i sign the birth certificate ? i had believe that give me some type of rights lol

it's not that "male/dad" part that is the problem. it's the "primary" parent part that hurts you. on paper....mom is the primary parent. in the court, mom is the primary parent.

because the child was not harmed by being left alone for 20 minutes and you have no actual proof mom left the child alone (do you really think she is going to admit such to a judge?) you've got nothing.

don't play that tug of war game. it will hurt you alot harder then help you. and when it's all done and sorted out...and you are still not the primary parent, you will only have caused MORE strife in the co-parenting relationship.