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biological father want to challenge patertnity against legal father

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TXparent

Junior Member
What is the name of your state? TEXAS

so here is the situation. I got a girl pregant in 1995 and she was not married at the time. she got back with her boyfriend and claimed it was his and not mine. they got married in 1997. they got divorced in 2002 with them having joint custody but her with primary. however,to make a long story short, the husband recently gained primary custody last year in 2005. The child is now 10 years old, and after seeing the child many times and after many wonders, the mother agreed to a have a private test done for peace of mind. The recent test proves I am the biological father. I would like to challenge the paternity against the legal father. The child has his last name and raised the child with the ex-wife before they got divorced. I however, dont want the legal father to have primary custody. I would like the mother to have primary back and me have joint, so that I may get to know my child. I also do not want to hurt my son and would like him to continue some sord of relationship with the legal father until he is comfortable with everything. My question is, do I have the right to challenge and want are the possible outcomes? Has anyone been through a similar case and is it expensive?
any thoughts? thanks
 
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Mbarr77

Member
TXparent said:
What is the name of your state? TEXAS

so here is the situation. I got a girl pregant in 1995 and she was not married at the time. she got back with her boyfriend and claimed it was his and not mine. they got married in 1997. they got divorced in 2002 with them having joint custody but her with primary. however,to make a long story short, the husband recently gained primary custody last year in 2005. The child is now 10 years old, and after seeing the child many time and after many wonders, the mother agreed to a have a private test done for peace of mind. the recent test proves the child is mine. I would like to challenge the paternity against mother's s ex-husband who is considered the legal father. The child has his last name and raised the child with the ex-wife before they got divorced. I however, dont want the legal father to have custody. I would like the mother's to have primary back and me have joint, so that I may get to know my child. I also do not want to hurt my son and would like him to continue some sord of relationship with the legal father until he is comfortable with everything. My question is, do I have the right to challenge and want are the possible outcomes? Has anyone been through a similar case and is it expensive?
any thoughts? thanks

If you are the true, and biological father of the child you have every right to challenge the paternity! However, you may also want to look at the affect this is going to have on your child, and tread very carefully. She has know this man as her father for ten years!! This could be very traumatic for the child. The judge will have to decide what he feels is best for the child.
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
And it's taken you 10 years to get off your rear and do something about your child because... ?
 

weenor

Senior Member
stealth2 said:
And it's taken you 10 years to get off your rear and do something about your child because... ?

The whole point of this court system thing...is the best interest of the child. How is it in the child's best interest that he be uprooted from all he has ever known, after going through the upheveal of a divorce. Let me guess? "because ITS MY child and I want to know and raise MY child." Give me a break!! :(
 

TXparent

Junior Member
I wasn't sure if he was mine and he never looked like me until now. Most importanly, I respected her wishes to let well enough be left alone. I was young at stupid at the time I guess.
 

weenor

Senior Member
TXparent said:
I wasn't sure if he was mine and he never looked like me until now. Most importanly, I respected her wishes to let well enough be left alone. I was young at stupid at the time I guess.
For my part I am not trying to make you out to be Frankenstein, but I really think you need to think about what you will do to this kid by insisting that after 10 years you should be daddy.
 
S

scaredandalone

Guest
you may be too late

after 10 years, it may be too late to challenge paternity now. id speak with a lawyer, but you may be 10 yrs too late. a judge will wonder why you waited so long, and may rule against you.
 

Rushia

Senior Member
TXparent said:
I wasn't sure if he was mine and he never looked like me until now. Most importanly, I respected her wishes to let well enough be left alone. I was young at stupid at the time I guess.
At the risk of starting a fight, chances are the reason Mom consented to the DNA test was to get the child back. You are nothing more than a pawn at the moment so she can get custody of the child returned to her. This is something that happens quite often.
 

weenor

Senior Member
Rushia said:
At the risk of starting a fight, chances are the reason Mom consented to the DNA test was to get the child back. You are nothing more than a pawn at the moment so she can get custody of the child returned to her. This is something that happens quite often.

Rush you are so right . . .I guess that's part of my point why do this to the kid..but then it may be unavoidable if Mom has let the cat out of the bag?
 

nextwife

Senior Member
Ge, Biodad. NOW you want to be Dad?

Just curious. Are YOU willing to REIMBURSE Legal Dad for all the years he supported your child, since you now want to step in and be dad? Betcha if MOM had custody and was getting support FROM dad (instead of maybe paying it) you would never have heard boo from her.

Dad IS psychological dad now. She DIDN"T dispute it, I'd bet, when she was divorcing and WANTED custody.
 
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Rushia

Senior Member
weenor said:
Rush you are so right . . .I guess that's part of my point why do this to the kid..but then it may be unavoidable if Mom has let the cat out of the bag?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've read this same exact situation in the past year that I've been here. I just can't believe how manipulative some women are. "Gee since we're together, I'll just say you're the dad. Oh, you want a divorce? I don't think it's your kid, you see, I was with someone else around that time...." I agree, poor kid. Trust me, someone will make sure that the child knows. :mad: :mad:
 

weenor

Senior Member
Rushia said:
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've read this same exact situation in the past year that I've been here. I just can't believe how manipulative some women are. "Gee since we're together, I'll just say you're the dad. Oh, you want a divorce? I don't think it's your kid, you see, I was with someone else around that time...." I agree, poor kid. Trust me, someone will make sure that the child knows. :mad: :mad:

Well- I will say when hubby got custody of his daughter at age 10 the biomom started to make noises that the child was actually her current husband's (she had been married to the current husband prior to my hubby, married my hubby had sd and then divorced and got back with her current hubby years later) Anyway, we she started that crap I quickly informed her that under Alabama law she didn't have a snow balls chance even if the DNA test showed my hubby wasnt' dad. Apparently she checked with her lawyer and stopped that noise.
 

Kane

Member
Rushia said:
At the risk of starting a fight, chances are the reason Mom consented to the DNA test was to get the child back. You are nothing more than a pawn at the moment so she can get custody of the child returned to her. This is something that happens quite often.
Yeah.

It's sad.
 

Wolflmg

Member
TXparent said:
What is the name of your state? TEXAS

so here is the situation. I got a girl pregant in 1995 and she was not married at the time. she got back with her boyfriend and claimed it was his and not mine. they got married in 1997. they got divorced in 2002 with them having joint custody but her with primary. however,to make a long story short, the husband recently gained primary custody last year in 2005. The child is now 10 years old, and after seeing the child many times and after many wonders, the mother agreed to a have a private test done for peace of mind. The recent test proves I am the biological father. I would like to challenge the paternity against the legal father. The child has his last name and raised the child with the ex-wife before they got divorced. I however, dont want the legal father to have primary custody. I would like the mother to have primary back and me have joint, so that I may get to know my child. I also do not want to hurt my son and would like him to continue some sord of relationship with the legal father until he is comfortable with everything. My question is, do I have the right to challenge and want are the possible outcomes? Has anyone been through a similar case and is it expensive?
any thoughts? thanks
It would be a whole lot eaier on the child, if you leave your son right where he's at, as long as he comfortable there. You can however sit down with your ex, the legal father and tell your son the truth. Take it nice and easy with him, to work the relationship up with him, by spending a few hours each week with him. Although you maybe ready to be a father to him, he may not be ready for something as big as this and wont be able to change what he feels to the man who raised him for the last ten years.

10 years is a long time and more then likely this man will be part of his life for the rest of his life and will probably always be dad to him. But that doesn't mean you can't be part of his life, it just going to take time and you will just have to accept that your son may never be able to call you dad.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
In all honesty its very possible that after 10 years of legal fatherhood, that the legal father would be able to retain legal fatherhood. You may not be successful in challenging paternity. You really need to get a consult with a local attorney, but we have seen many cases here where a legal father was able to stop a paternity challenge after that many years.
 
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