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In CA, Can having a boyfriend be cause for loss of custody?

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>Charlotte<

Lurker
Having a boyfriend, or girlfriend as the case may be.. in itself is not going to affect anything in California.
That would be a lot easier to swallow if you would say "not necessarily going to affect anything", as I conceded it's not necessarily going to be a deal-breaker.

I can't think of a single reason why it would be best for the children if Mom or Dad started knocking boots with some new flame before the divorce is even final. I can think of several reasons why it would be best for the children to refrain from doing so, although they are mostly morally subjective reasons.

I believe the laws of the State of California also state that the mother shall be given no preference simply due to her status as the mother and that the relationship of each parent to the child are to be considered equal. All things being equal, the judge has to have some basis for a ruling. With the bests interests of the children to consider, do you really think no judge is going to raise an eyebrow to the parent who is adding a new boyfriend or girlfriend onto the pile of emotional turmoil that these kids have to deal with?

Even with the reputation California judges have for liberal open-mindedness, to state so definitively that having a boyfriend or girlfriend is not going to affect anything seems incredibly naïve.
 
I think the OP's point, and what I was trying to say, is that some of the other posters here are not in CA and quoting principles from other states doesn't apply to California, just like California law doesn't apply in Georgia. Crazy as it sounds, getting divorced while having a new partner IN CALIFORNIA (not New Jersey, Kansas, Missouri or Ohio for instance) does not have any bearing on custody.

Non-lawyer family members saying this to a person in California is just scare tactics because they don't like the fact that the person is getting divorced. Or they don't like the new partner. Or they want them to follow a religious tenet of never divorcing. Whatever.

I live in California. I've been divorced here. Many people I know have been divorced here and new partners don't enter into the equation.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
I think the OP's point, and what I was trying to say, is that some of the other posters here are not in CA and quoting principles from other states doesn't apply to California, just like California law doesn't apply in Georgia. Crazy as it sounds, getting divorced while having a new partner IN CALIFORNIA (not New Jersey, Kansas, Missouri or Ohio for instance) does not have any bearing on custody.

Non-lawyer family members saying this to a person in California is just scare tactics because they don't like the fact that the person is getting divorced. Or they don't like the new partner. Or they want them to follow a religious tenet of never divorcing. Whatever.

I live in California. I've been divorced here. Many people I know have been divorced here and new partners don't enter into the equation.
Or maybe they just want them to be cautious and not turn a fairly amicable situation into a massively hostile one. Or, an agreement which gives mom primary custody into an all out custody battle.

I agree that its not likely at all that its going to matter to a judge in CA. However, it certainly might matter to dad...and dad could turn into a very hostile and uncooperative person in the divorce process.

That is why I think its better not to date until after the divorce is final, and to be discrete about it for a while even then.
 

mistoffolees

Senior Member
I think the OP's point, and what I was trying to say, is that some of the other posters here are not in CA and quoting principles from other states doesn't apply to California, just like California law doesn't apply in Georgia. Crazy as it sounds, getting divorced while having a new partner IN CALIFORNIA (not New Jersey, Kansas, Missouri or Ohio for instance) does not have any bearing on custody.
All the regular posters are well aware of that.
 

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