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  1. #1
    mommy2JSE is offline Junior Member
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    Can Ex change custody agreement?

    What is the name of your state?Indiana

    I have been divorced almost 5 yrs and never saw a court room because my ex and I were able to reach a custody agreement. We agreed to joint custody with our 2 kids, now 13 and 10, living with their father during school, and living with me spring, winter, and summer breaks (I live in IN and he lives in NC, weekends weren't options). Because he is in the Army, I also get them whenever he is deployed. So far we have had them about 50/50 and it has worked well for us other then my ex constantly trying to keep me from picking up the kids when it is my time with them.

    My ex recently notified me that he is being deployed for a year and we have made arrangements for me to pick up the kids. Well now my oldest says he doesn't want to come live with me, he wants to stay at his dads with his step mom and go to his new school (ex moved just before summer). My ex says that our son is old enough to decide when he wants to visit and when he doesn't and is considering going to court to try and change the custody agreement to allow our son to choose when and if he wants to visit me.

    I don't see how a judge could rule in favor of such a thing. Especially when I have never and will never be found to be an unfit parent. I am remarried and have a child with my husband, I am also a stay at home mom. When my kids are with me they have access to me 24/7. I don't drink, I don't do drugs, and I have never been in trouble with the law.

    My question is, what are the odds, how likely is it, etc. that an Indiana judge would change our custody agreement? (My ex agreed in the custody and divorce papers to give Indiana jurisdiction because it was our home of record and he is only stationed in NC)
  2. #2
    snostar is offline Senior Member
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    Your son has no choice in the matter. A judge may listen to his wishes, but they will not be the only factor considered in a modification, especially since YOU are the parent and Dad will be unavailable.
  3. #3
    LdiJ is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by mommy2JSE
    What is the name of your state?Indiana

    I have been divorced almost 5 yrs and never saw a court room because my ex and I were able to reach a custody agreement. We agreed to joint custody with our 2 kids, now 13 and 10, living with their father during school, and living with me spring, winter, and summer breaks (I live in IN and he lives in NC, weekends weren't options). Because he is in the Army, I also get them whenever he is deployed. So far we have had them about 50/50 and it has worked well for us other then my ex constantly trying to keep me from picking up the kids when it is my time with them.

    My ex recently notified me that he is being deployed for a year and we have made arrangements for me to pick up the kids. Well now my oldest says he doesn't want to come live with me, he wants to stay at his dads with his step mom and go to his new school (ex moved just before summer). My ex says that our son is old enough to decide when he wants to visit and when he doesn't and is considering going to court to try and change the custody agreement to allow our son to choose when and if he wants to visit me.

    I don't see how a judge could rule in favor of such a thing. Especially when I have never and will never be found to be an unfit parent. I am remarried and have a child with my husband, I am also a stay at home mom. When my kids are with me they have access to me 24/7. I don't drink, I don't do drugs, and I have never been in trouble with the law.

    My question is, what are the odds, how likely is it, etc. that an Indiana judge would change our custody agreement? (My ex agreed in the custody and divorce papers to give Indiana jurisdiction because it was our home of record and he is only stationed in NC)
    There is very little chance that an Indiana judge would change your custody agreement....particularly when a deployment is involved.

    When does dad's deployment start and when were you planning to pick up the kids? It might be wise for you to file for emergency, temporary custody based on dad's deployment and the fact that dad is telling you that he doesn't wish to honor the agreement.
  4. #4
    mommy2JSE is offline Junior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by LdiJ
    There is very little chance that an Indiana judge would change your custody agreement....particularly when a deployment is involved.

    When does dad's deployment start and when were you planning to pick up the kids? It might be wise for you to file for emergency, temporary custody based on dad's deployment and the fact that dad is telling you that he doesn't wish to honor the agreement.
    He leaves very soon and I am picking them up at the end of this grading period at their school, so as not to mess up their grades. I am not really worried about him stopping me from having them at this time. My concern is that he will attempt to go to court when he returns from his deployment.

    I had gone to a lawyer a few years ago because I wanted to change our custody agreement because my ex constantly tries to keep me from picking the kids up when it is my time. He has even gone as far as to lie about his mothers death (she was in the hospital dieing, and he said she was already dead in hopes I would wait a week to pick them up so "they could go to the funeral"). The lawyer told me I couldn't go to court and change the agreement because his behavior wasn't "harming" my kids, only annoying me. So I don't see how he can go to court and try to change the agreement because my son doesn't want to go to school in Indiana when his dad is deployed.

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