Can a girlfriend make me lose my kids?

[rroman1988]

baton rouge, Louisiana

My soon to be ex-wife and I are currently separated, getting divorced. Her marital indiscretions (multiple and often, but with no solid proof other than her word in telling me and other vast amounts of circumstantial evidence) are the backbone of why I am leaving her, among other things.

Since deciding on the divorce, which was her idea, I have became involved with a close friend. We are moving in together after the divorce is finalized. She has known about this the entire time and even gave her blessing. Now that the divorce is proceeding she is saying that she is going for sole custody of the children based upon the fact that she does not want my children to be around my close friend when I am not home. I have had background checks done on her, and otherwise known her for two years. Can she indeed do this?

 

[Silverplum]

baton rouge, Louisiana

My soon to be ex-wife and I are currently separated, getting divorced. Her marital indiscretions (multiple and often, but with no solid proof other than her word in telling me and other vast amounts of circumstantial evidence) are the backbone of why I am leaving her, among other things.

Since deciding on the divorce, which was her idea, I have became involved with a close friend. We are moving in together after the divorce is finalized. She has known about this the entire time and even gave her blessing. Now that the divorce is proceeding she is saying that she is going for sole custody of the children based upon the fact that she does not want my children to be around my close friend when I am not home. I have had background checks done on her, and otherwise known her for two years. Can she indeed do this?

Depends upon the judge, depends upon the specifics of your custody order.

Why should the children be with your gf instead of their mother when you aren't home?

 

[randolph76]

This sword cuts both ways though. A no paramour clause could be put in for both parties. I tend to think it's silly to limit an ex's love life, but that's just me.

 

[mistoffolees]

baton rouge, Louisiana

My soon to be ex-wife and I are currently separated, getting divorced. Her marital indiscretions (multiple and often, but with no solid proof other than her word in telling me and other vast amounts of circumstantial evidence) are the backbone of why I am leaving her, among other things.

Since deciding on the divorce, which was her idea, I have became involved with a close friend. We are moving in together after the divorce is finalized. She has known about this the entire time and even gave her blessing. Now that the divorce is proceeding she is saying that she is going for sole custody of the children based upon the fact that she does not want my children to be around my close friend when I am not home. I have had background checks done on her, and otherwise known her for two years. Can she indeed do this?

The court can, indeed order that there be no paramours in the house when the kids are there. That's a very difficult thing to enforce and most judges don't order it unless the two parties agree to it.

Fortunately, LA favors joint custody unless the best interests of the child clearly favors one parent having custody. Adultery is not one of the factors which can affect custody, so having a girlfriend AFTER the divorce almost certainly will not (barring a really rigid judge, of course): Louisiana Child Custody Laws - Child Custody Laws Louisiana, Louisiana Child Custody Lawyers Attorneys

Still, it is best not to have the girlfriend involved AT ALL with the child while you are still married.

OTOH, perhaps Mom is talking about a right of first refusal clause. That is a clause that says that if either parent is unable to watch the child for a certain period of time or longer (often around 4 hours), the other parent can watch the child. This obviously only works if the two parents live reasonably close to each other, but even then, I don't really like it - unless the time is set fairly long (that is several days or more). It can be disruptive and means a lot of extra stress for the child.

 

[rroman1988]

@mistoffolees

The girlfriend is not involved with the kids at this point in time, and thank you so much. That is exactly the answer I was looking for. You've taken a load off my shoulders.