Can I ask that contact re court case only be through attorney?

[freedaviceyo]

Mine always have just put recommendations in writing and made them a part of her chart then requested a certified copy of the chart to be made and my attorney submitted it as evidence and the court took the recommendations that way. Also getting a gal or casa on board they can talk to the service provider and include those recommendations to the court in there report as well.

I do want the kid in counseling. Right now I'm not sure I can - we have no orders at all and from what I understand sometimes they ask for those things before scheduling. Not sure if I can enroll him in counseling without her consent and no order. Very sure she will not consent if asked. After temp orders, we will have joint legal. I think I can get her consent then, but only because she'll see the therapist as an avenue to manipulate. In her mind it won't be to help the kid, but to get an ally. Plus, I would be concerned if I were a therapist and someone came in from the getgo asking that all recommendations be put in the chart and oh by the way how do I get a copy of that chart. How did your kid's therapist feel about knowing you were going to use it as evidence?

 

[LdiJ]

I do want the kid in counseling. Right now I'm not sure I can - we have no orders at all and from what I understand sometimes they ask for those things before scheduling. Not sure if I can enroll him in counseling without her consent and no order. Very sure she will not consent if asked. After temp orders, we will have joint legal. I think I can get her consent then, but only because she'll see the therapist as an avenue to manipulate. In her mind it won't be to help the kid, but to get an ally. Plus, I would be concerned if I were a therapist and someone came in from the getgo asking that all recommendations be put in the chart and oh by the way how do I get a copy of that chart. How did your kid's therapist feel about knowing you were going to use it as evidence?

Neither parent can get a copy of the chart. The therapist would have to testify in court.

 

[freedaviceyo]

Neither parent can get a copy of the chart. The therapist would have to testify in court.

Ok, so user cheesecake was just an anomaly? Thank you!

 

[LdiJ]

Ok, so user cheesecake was just an anomaly? Thank you!

No, she just did not go into detail...you read more into what she posted than she said.

 

[Ladyback1]

Neither parent can get a copy of the chart. The therapist would have to testify in court.

I have obtained copies of my children's records from their counselor....HOWEVER, it was not for a custody battle or to poke a stick in the eye of my ex.

Furthermore, be very careful if you choose to obtain the records---there may be things in there that are very upsetting to you. There may also be phrases and words that you don't full understand. (For example one of my son's medical records indicated that he was "a little SOB"--thankful I have enough medical terminology and shorthand to know that SOB is Short of Breath!)

Tread carefully!

 

[LdiJ]

I have obtained copies of my children's records from their counselor....HOWEVER, it was not for a custody battle or to poke a stick in the eye of my ex.

Furthermore, be very careful if you choose to obtain the records---there may be things in there that are very upsetting to you. There may also be phrases and words that you don't full understand. (For example one of my son's medical records indicated that he was "a little SOB"--thankful I have enough medical terminology and shorthand to know that SOB is Short of Breath!)

Tread carefully!

Most therapists will not allow parents to see the actual charts, because that violates the confidentiality between the child and the therapist. A therapist cannot be effective with the child if the child knows that the therapist is going to share everything with the parents. That is different than regular medical records. However, some therapists will share that detail if the child okays it...or if the therapist feels its necessary for the ongoing treatment.

From what I have seen on these forums over the last 15 or so years, is that most therapists just refuse to share that information.

 

[freedaviceyo]

Thanks. I actually prefer the thought that the counselor cannot be utilized for court. That would result in a lot of a) mom taking up the appointment with "facts" that she wants the counselor to know and b) kid going into the appointment with "facts" that the mom wants noted in a professional's files.

I will look into a GAL if it gets to that point. It's too bad that it even might. But she seems to prefer burying her head deeper into the sand, over the option of getting her life back to a point that would allow her to be a good mother again.

 

[LdiJ]

Thanks. I actually prefer the thought that the counselor cannot be utilized for court. That would result in a lot of a) mom taking up the appointment with "facts" that she wants the counselor to know and b) kid going into the appointment with "facts" that the mom wants noted in a professional's files.

I will look into a GAL if it gets to that point. It's too bad that it even might. But she seems to prefer burying her head deeper into the sand, over the option of getting her life back to a point that would allow her to be a good mother again.

A counselor CAN be utilized in court if the counselor feels strongly enough about something that the counselor is willing to testify in court...and that is not uncommon. A counselor is also a mandated reporter and must report anything that smacks of abuse or neglect to the proper authorities. So do not misunderstand that a counselor cannot be used, just don't misunderstand in the opposite direction either.

 

[Ladyback1]

Most therapists will not allow parents to see the actual charts, because that violates the confidentiality between the child and the therapist. A therapist cannot be effective with the child if the child knows that the therapist is going to share everything with the parents. That is different than regular medical records. However, some therapists will share that detail if the child okays it...or if the therapist feels its necessary for the ongoing treatment.

From what I have seen on these forums over the last 15 or so years, is that most therapists just refuse to share that information.

1) it depends on the age of the patient, and the situation that brought the kiddo to counseling. Every therapist/counselor has different criteria.
2) ahhhh....you have 15 years of internet experience! Goodie for you. Mine is actual real life experience both professionally and privately.

 

[cheesecake46580]

A counselor CAN be utilized in court if the counselor feels strongly enough about something that the counselor is willing to testify in court...and that is not uncommon. A counselor is also a mandated reporter and must report anything that smacks of abuse or neglect to the proper authorities. So do not misunderstand that a counselor cannot be used, just don't misunderstand in the opposite direction either.

My daughter had been seeing her T for over 2 years and called me herself and said she wanted to talk to me about some concerns and let me know how things were affecting my daughter and she felt we needed to make some changes concerning the NCP to help her. Her therapist only released the letter with her recommendations and the general chart but the actual notes and such were kept confidential. I live almost 2 hours away from the county that handles our post divorce stuff so I think this is why this worked for me.

 

[Ohiogal]

1) it depends on the age of the patient, and the situation that brought the kiddo to counseling. Every therapist/counselor has different criteria.
2) ahhhh....you have 15 years of internet experience! Goodie for you. Mine is actual real life experience both professionally and privately.

I will say some states have laws that cover this. Ohio is one such state that requires the PATIENT to waive confidentiality to give copies to either the court OR parents.

 

[freedaviceyo]

PA.

1. I am just trying to think ahead, at all times. Ive had our kid most of the time for quite a few years. Since we split the only thing Mom took care of was insurance. She lost a few jobs and stopped giving me insurance info. To this day, I'm not sure if the kid has insurance or not with her, so I just went out and got it on my own on the exchange. All I know is the child doesn't have coverage through the big carriers since that is what the exchange can check against. I make about $43/yr including bonuses. From what I know, she makes around $11/hr. I will not be asking for any child support if I get my custody preference, which is to remain the same at 1 weekday and e/o weekend for her. She's firing back with 50-50 based on... nothing.. but crazy things happen and I like to be prepared. In the event she gets her way, can I expect to pay child support? In the event that I get my way, can she still ask for child support (she's hopping mad, and is looking for ways to punish me) despite the fact that she has had and will have our kid significantly less than me? Remember, she may or may not already carry health insurance for the child. I will find that out at court, hopefully. And now, I definitely also carry insurance for the child.

2. One of the things I am asking for is no contact between the child and ex's long-term boyfriend. I never thought to look but when checking on her criminal issues, I checked on him too and as it turns out he has more than one conviction that is a problem to the PA courts in terms of record of the parent or household member. Since I have asked for this, her response is to start saying more (inane) things over texts about how my wife and stepchildren cannot be around the child. They are not family according to her and therefore the child's relationship with them should be severed (despite the fact that we have been married about five years and she's never once had a problem with my wife until, magically, the day of the custody filing). I know to ignore that, BUT... I am concerned now how this is going to affect my wife. I always thought that barring any sort of emotional or physical abuse or those pesky prior convictions, a stepparent was pretty much invisible in a custody situation. What should she/we be prepared for? The ex is really grasping and quite desperate and people do stupid things like make CPS allegations to try to bolster their case, in the absence of a strong case. Does my wife need to be prepared for the potential that she may need to testify or be interviewed?

 

[freedaviceyo]

Can anyone speak to the additions above?

 

[freedaviceyo]

can anyone speak to the additions above?

bump. Again. IN CAPS.