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Can I ask that contact re court case only be through attorney?

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freedaviceyo

Junior Member
State is PA. My ex was served over the weekend. Court is Thursday for a temp hearing. She opened mail last night. Since then I have gotten texts every 10-15 minutes during waking hours. 7-11 last night. 830-now today. Begging. Threatening. Pleading. Warning. Nothing to do with our child. Can I send a simple text stating "please direct anything regarding this custody issue to my attorney in an email." ?

I have not responded in any way except for one text where she said she was going to tell our child that I am trying to take the kid away from mother. I simply said "please do not involve child. it is not right to talk to the child about this."

I am normally ok with text communication from her. But that is regarding our child. This has nothing to with the kid and is a constant stream. I know this woman well and already know that if I block her or shut my phone off, she will manipulate it to try to say I am not available in case of emergency and that is not good for the child or co-parenting. Even if it won't work, she will still try it. I would like to sew up as many arguments as possible and do the right/non-questionable thing from the beginning. Just prevent whatever avenues of drama I can.

Please let me know if this is an ok response. I would call or email my attorney and ask but I already knew ahead of time she is in court today and tomorrow morning.

If you need more info, just ask.
 


Ohiogal

Queen Bee
State is PA. My ex was served over the weekend. Court is Thursday for a temp hearing. She opened mail last night. Since then I have gotten texts every 10-15 minutes during waking hours. 7-11 last night. 830-now today. Begging. Threatening. Pleading. Warning. Nothing to do with our child. Can I send a simple text stating "please direct anything regarding this custody issue to my attorney in an email." ?

I have not responded in any way except for one text where she said she was going to tell our child that I am trying to take the kid away from mother. I simply said "please do not involve child. it is not right to talk to the child about this."

I am normally ok with text communication from her. But that is regarding our child. This has nothing to with the kid and is a constant stream. I know this woman well and already know that if I block her or shut my phone off, she will manipulate it to try to say I am not available in case of emergency and that is not good for the child or co-parenting. Even if it won't work, she will still try it. I would like to sew up as many arguments as possible and do the right/non-questionable thing from the beginning. Just prevent whatever avenues of drama I can.

Please let me know if this is an ok response. I would call or email my attorney and ask but I already knew ahead of time she is in court today and tomorrow morning.

If you need more info, just ask.
You can tell her that any communication about the case needs to go through your attorney.
 

freedaviceyo

Junior Member
because the amount of text messaging, you blocking her until the hearing is not unreasonable.
I would in a hot minute but she would absolutely fabricate an emergency. I am actually expecting it already simply because I haven't responded at all. She has demanded to have the kid tonight despite it being "my night" based on the unofficial verbal custody we've had for the past few years. She knows I can't say no since there is no legal document and she's going to pick the kid up from school so kid doesn't come home on the bus to my house. If she makes up an emergency she can test to see if I am actually seeing the texts. She's a pain in the ass.

Cannot wait for some assistance from court.
 

Proserpina

Senior Member
800 texts... since last night? Not a conversation, but different texts?

I understand (somewhat) being all wrapped up and panicky .... but seriously? That's gone from anxious right into manic.

I'd be wanting to show the court.
 

freedaviceyo

Junior Member
800 texts... since last night? Not a conversation, but different texts?

I understand (somewhat) being all wrapped up and panicky .... but seriously? That's gone from anxious right into manic.

I'd be wanting to show the court.
Sorry, that did not read well!!! From 7pm-11pm I got texts every 10-15 minutes. Now from 8am til present I have continued to get them. Sometimes it is a text broken into 2 or 3 or 5 parts, because it's so long and ranty. Sometimes it's just one short one. "you better have evidence." "you're just going to hurt our child." But either way, steadily every 10-15 minutes. Even if we just call it 4 per hour, it's kind of a lot.
 
Sorry, that did not read well!!! From 7pm-11pm I got texts every 10-15 minutes. Now from 8am til present I have continued to get them. Sometimes it is a text broken into 2 or 3 or 5 parts, because it's so long and ranty. Sometimes it's just one short one. "you better have evidence." "you're just going to hurt our child." But either way, steadily every 10-15 minutes. Even if we just call it 4 per hour, it's kind of a lot.
I agree I would politely tell her to contact the attorney about anything to do with the court issues. I would add that you respectfully request that she don't text you about anything unless it is about the child and let her know to keep things civil and to keep a healthy co parenting relationship as texting you constantly takes away time from the kid for both of you.
 

CJane

Senior Member
800 texts... since last night? Not a conversation, but different texts?

I understand (somewhat) being all wrapped up and panicky .... but seriously? That's gone from anxious right into manic.

I'd be wanting to show the court.
I don't think he was saying 830 texts, I think he was indicating times. She texted from 7 til 11 last night, and from 8:30 this morning til now.
 

freedaviceyo

Junior Member
Thanks everyone. My request to her ended in her now refusing to discuss anything. Not a smooth move but she will have to explain it.
Confirming when a key health document regarding the kid is coming? Total Silence.
Confirming the makeup night we discussed for a night she had? Go to hell you why don't you talk to your attorney you're not getting any makeup time.

It's too bad but maybe this will help make my case for moving to email only, except for emergencies.
 

Proserpina

Senior Member
Thanks everyone. My request to her ended in her now refusing to discuss anything. Not a smooth move but she will have to explain it.
Confirming when a key health document regarding the kid is coming? Total Silence.
Confirming the makeup night we discussed for a night she had? Go to hell you why don't you talk to your attorney you're not getting any makeup time.

It's too bad but maybe this will help make my case for moving to email only, except for emergencies.

I'm very glad I misunderstood, if only for your own sanity!

When you get to court, you need those texts and you need to have them entered as evidence. You might want to use My Family Wizard too and ask that the court ORDER that as the means of communication, emergencies notwithstanding.

I still think she's going overboard with texts. First it was unreasonable, now it's just childish. This is a parent who is about to sink herself in court and your attorney needs to get on board with this.
 

freedaviceyo

Junior Member
Now did I call it or what... I am suddenly getting texts left and right "about our kid."
A text about kid being picked up by a person other than her. Not an emergency, so I'm not responding.
Trying to manipulate a recent school situation to be my fault due to my parenting rather than the kid making a bad choice and ending it with "what do you think?" as if she's trying to have an open communication about the issue. Ignored.
Asking me to do stuff like arrange with the school for a transportation change on her day. She has a phone just like I do, and she can call and do what she needs to do with the school, without me doing it for her. So I ignored that too, despite her texting five times about it between last night and this morning.

Magically, she got it taken care of on her own, which she notified me of along with a three-page text about how I am "not communicating and coparenting regarding our child."

I am going to stick to silence unless it's an emergency and just let the hole and manipulation go deeper. Just want a little confirmation that this is the right move. Court got moved to next week so she is scrambling to manufacture some sort of evidence.
 
Sometimes if its information about your child even if its stupid to respond with an ok or I got it will acknowledge you got it so it don't look like you are totally ignoring her if it is about your little one but you are not obligated to say more. This will avoid the co parenting accusations. Also on the stupid stuff like the school issue for the transpo you can simply say I got your text can you please take care of it because it's your request. and then no longer respond
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
State is PA. My ex was served over the weekend. Court is Thursday for a temp hearing. She opened mail last night. Since then I have gotten texts every 10-15 minutes during waking hours. 7-11 last night. 830-now today. Begging. Threatening. Pleading. Warning. Nothing to do with our child. Can I send a simple text stating "please direct anything regarding this custody issue to my attorney in an email." ?

I have not responded in any way except for one text where she said she was going to tell our child that I am trying to take the kid away from mother. I simply said "please do not involve child. it is not right to talk to the child about this."

I am normally ok with text communication from her. But that is regarding our child. This has nothing to with the kid and is a constant stream. I know this woman well and already know that if I block her or shut my phone off, she will manipulate it to try to say I am not available in case of emergency and that is not good for the child or co-parenting. Even if it won't work, she will still try it. I would like to sew up as many arguments as possible and do the right/non-questionable thing from the beginning. Just prevent whatever avenues of drama I can.

Please let me know if this is an ok response. I would call or email my attorney and ask but I already knew ahead of time she is in court today and tomorrow morning.

If you need more info, just ask.
I would like to point out one potential downside to your idea that no one else has mentioned.

Your attorney is going to charge you for every email or phone call he gets from her. If she makes lots of contact with your attorney that could get VERY expensive.
 

freedaviceyo

Junior Member
That's true. She retained an attorney of her own yesterday morning so we will see if she actually contacts her attorney, to contact mine with every nitpicking concern, or if she just keeps trying to manipulate me into interacting with her. So far, as far as I know, she has not contacted my attorney at all. Just changed tactics in coming up with "reasons" to contact me.

I wish I could charge HER, per contact! It would probably pay the attorney's bill.
 

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