Can I legally take the kids to live with me?

[campout1982]

Oklahoma(home state)and Missouri

I moved to Missouri in June, my ex-husband has the kids in our home state of Oklahoma. Our divorce decree became final on Oct 5th, 2011 stating joint physical and legal custody...it doesn't say anything about moving them out of state or any distance at all. He just got kicked out of his place of residence and my kids are with family. Am I within my rights to take them to live with me in Missouri since he refuses to take them with him? When he got kicked out, she hit him and has also thrown things at him. Now he's thinking about going back to her. If not, he'll get a place of his own but I don't want them staying with family.

 

[Zigner]

Slow down there...I know this all seems so urgent to you, but if the kids are safe, then give this a week or two to settle down.

 

[mistoffolees]

Oklahoma(home state)and Missouri

I moved to Missouri in June, my ex-husband has the kids in our home state of Oklahoma. Our divorce decree became final on Oct 5th, 2011 stating joint physical and legal custody...it doesn't say anything about moving them out of state or any distance at all. He just got kicked out of his place of residence and my kids are with family. Am I within my rights to take them to live with me in Missouri since he refuses to take them with him? When he got kicked out, she hit him and has also thrown things at him. Now he's thinking about going back to her. If not, he'll get a place of his own but I don't want them staying with family.

What does your court order say about custody? Word for word but without the names.

It MAY be possible for you to go get the kids if the order specifically says that they must be living with him, but then husband could come back and get them. Your best bet would be to file for a change in custody with the fact that the kids are not living with him being the change of circumstances.

 

[CJane]

What does your court order say about custody? Word for word but without the names.

It MAY be possible for you to go get the kids if the order specifically says that they must be living with him, but then husband could come back and get them. Your best bet would be to file for a change in custody with the fact that the kids are not living with him being the change of circumstances.

This order is only 5 days old, Misto. Aren't the chances REALLY slim that a change would be considered outside of an extreme emergency?

 

[Zigner]

And, for all the OP knows, the father is simply having the children spend a few days with relatives while he arranges for a new place for them to live. Heck, sounds to me like the father may also be staying with the relatives while looking...the OP chose her words carefully in order to elicit the responses she wanted to hear, IMO.

 

[campout1982]

It says Award shared shared Legal Custody of the child(ren); Award shared Physical Custody of the child(ren). It also says not to change schools or take them out of Oklahoma. He's living with his mom while my kids are living with my grandma.

 

[CJane]

It says Award shared shared Legal Custody of the child(ren); Award shared Physical Custody of the child(ren). It also says not to change schools or take them out of Oklahoma. He's living with his mom while my kids are living with my grandma.

Well, that's not even close to word for word, but given the bolded, I'm gonna go with no, you cannot take them to Missouri with you.

 

[mistoffolees]

This order is only 5 days old, Misto. Aren't the chances REALLY slim that a change would be considered outside of an extreme emergency?

The chances aren't that great, but if the court ordered that Dad should have physical custody - and he didn't keep the kids even for the first week, I could picture the judge getting really miffed at Dad.

Of course, Zig makes a good point - maybe Dad simply had to go out of town or something and he's only leaving the kids with relatives temporarily.

 

[Zigner]

It says Award shared shared Legal Custody of the child(ren); Award shared Physical Custody of the child(ren). It also says not to change schools or take them out of Oklahoma. He's living with his mom while my kids are living with my grandma.

Again, give it a little time. There is no emergency, the kids are safe. Give dad a little time to get his housing situation straightened out. You're not going to get this in to court for quite some time anyway.


Oh, and that line about not taking them out of Oklahoma...that's a court ORDER.

 

[mistoffolees]

It says Award shared shared Legal Custody of the child(ren); Award shared Physical Custody of the child(ren). It also says not to change schools or take them out of Oklahoma. He's living with his mom while my kids are living with my grandma.

Aside from all the other advice you've gotten, why is it wrong for his kids to live with his mother but OK for your kids to live with your grandma?

 

[Zigner]

Aside from all the other advice you've gotten, why is it wrong for his kids to live with his mother but OK for your kids to live with your grandma?

Huh?

Dad is living with DAD's mom.

The kids are living with the OP's GRANDMA.


Or is this a thread deleter?

 

[mistoffolees]

Huh?

Dad is living with DAD's mom.

The kids are living with the OP's GRANDMA.


Or is this a thread deleter?

I'm really confused. At one point, she said:

He's living with his mom while my kids are living with my grandma.

At another point, she said:

He just got kicked out of his place of residence and my kids are with family. Am I within my rights to take them to live with me in Missouri since he refuses to take them with him?

So, it sounds like OP's kids are living with HER grandmother (is that kids other than the one being discussed in this thread or is it the kids that we're talking about).

OP, please tell us who is living where. I'm not really following the story.

 

[LdiJ]

I'm really confused. At one point, she said:


At another point, she said:

He just got kicked out of his place of residence and my kids are with family. Am I within my rights to take them to live with me in Missouri since he refuses to take them with him?

So, it sounds like OP's kids are living with HER grandmother (is that kids other than the one being discussed in this thread or is it the kids that we're talking about).

OP, please tell us who is living where. I'm not really following the story.

I am not confused.

He and the kids got kicked out of the home they were living in (I got the impression that it was another significant other). He took the kids to live with OP's grandmother and he moved in with his mother.

 

[CJane]

Misto, this is what I understand.

Mom moved to MO in June.

Dad stayed in OK and the kids stayed with him.

The divorce was finalized last week, with Dad retaining primary custody and the order includes a clause that the children cannot be removed from OK.

Dad has since been kicked out of his home after a domestic disturbance.

Dad is living with his mother and the children with OP's grandmother.

The arrangement is, apparently, temporary as Dad might be moving back into the home he was kicked out of, or looking for his own place.

 

[mistoffolees]

Misto, this is what I understand.

Mom moved to MO in June.

Dad stayed in OK and the kids stayed with him.

The divorce was finalized last week, with Dad retaining primary custody and the order includes a clause that the children cannot be removed from OK.

Dad has since been kicked out of his home after a domestic disturbance.

Dad is living with his mother and the children with OP's grandmother.

The arrangement is, apparently, temporary as Dad might be moving back into the home he was kicked out of, or looking for his own place.

In that case, I agree that Mom's complaint isn't likely to go anywhere.

First, since the kids are with her grandmother, she can't argue that Dad is denying visitation in any way.

Second, as long as Dad is back into his own place with the kids before Mom gets a hearing (which will be months down the road), then the court isn't going to do anything.

That's what happens when you move out of state and have an order in your decree that says the kids can't be removed from the state.