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Can I refuse paternity establishment?

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ladybird04

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What is the name of your state? Florida

I am a single mom. My ex-boyfriend DID NOT sign the birth certificate or acknowledgement of paternity. After he left, I moved away and he does not know where I am. We are happy and have started a new life. Before the baby was born he was unemployed and had started drinking heavily. I have taken care of the baby since the beginning and I do not want child support or any involvement with him or his family. Also, I do not want him to find us.

If he decides to petition the courts to establish paternity and press custody/visitation in the future, what rights do I have to refuse?

If he does not know where I am, will I be ordered to take the test to establish paternity?
 


As far as I know you can refuse UNTIL he gets a Court Order, and he will get one. Then if you refuse you are in contempt of Court, possible punishments range from slap on the hand to fines to jail. Think about your child if he does show back up. HE DID help create the life and HE DOES have a right to be part of it. The Court will NOT look kindly on you keeping the child away from the father and hiding. Good Luck
 
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ladybird04

Guest
We are not hiding. I had a great job opportunity in another city and I took it.

What does he have to do to file with the courts to establish paternity?

Will I have to be served first?

If court ordered, I will have to take the tests. But if he doesn't file and seek to establish paternity or a relationship with the child, am I ok with moving on with our lives? I just don't want this coming up 5 years from now and it looking like I did something wrong.
 
My best advice to get what YOU want---> Don't ever accept any state aid (or the state will seek out the father to be paid back) and continue on with what you are doing. Technically there is nothing wrong with that and you are not breaking any laws. If you hear (from family or friends) he is looking for you face it don't run (that would look bad.) But you moving on with your life is not wrong EXCEPT when it comes to the possibility that your child becomes sick (god forbid) with something genetic on the fathers side. Or when the child wonders were daddy is and the fact that the child needs to discover how to feel about the other parent ON THEIR OWN. Maybe let the child know the fathers family? Or at least tell them where you are and inform when you move then if the ex ever decides to be a father then you can show that your location was never a secret and that you never kept him away that he chose not to be in the childs' life. Good Luck.
 
ladybird04 said:
We are not hiding. I had a great job opportunity in another city and I took it.

That's different, I must have misunderstood the original post. Good for you, you have a right to do so.

What does he have to do to file with the courts to establish paternity?

I belive it would be a Petition to Establish Paternity, or a Petition for Visitation with a request to unergo a paternity screening attached (not positive but the experts on here will know)

Will I have to be served first?

You are served after he files but before the hearing.

If court ordered, I will have to take the tests. But if he doesn't file and seek to establish paternity or a relationship with the child, am I ok with moving on with our lives? I just don't want this coming up 5 years from now and it looking like I did something wrong.
See next post
 
I was in the same situation many years ago in MN. I needed state assistance with daycare but had to fill out the whole assistance packet, even though I didnt want or need food stamps, medical assistance, etc. They pushed and pushed me to name the father and give whatever info I had. I never did--people still look at me strange when I write "unknown" under father on school and medical forms though.

After 10 years I did have to contact him about a major medical issue for our daughter. I would keep tabs on him from in distance just in case.
 
Jeeplady66 said:
I was in the same situation many years ago in MN. I needed state assistance with daycare but had to fill out the whole assistance packet, even though I didnt want or need food stamps, medical assistance, etc. They pushed and pushed me to name the father and give whatever info I had. I never did--people still look at me strange when I write "unknown" under father on school and medical forms though.

After 10 years I did have to contact him about a major medical issue for our daughter. I would keep tabs on him from in distance just in case.

I don't know about MN but I do know in AZ and FL you HAVE to give them a name or they won't distribute benefits to you. But if that isn't an issue for the poster than besides the medical issue and the childs sense of abandonment by dad (possibly blaming it on Mom (probably not true but likely anyhow) I would move on with my life and like I said before maybe keep in touch with one of his family members.
 
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ladybird04

Guest
I'm not seeking state assistance. I make close to a 6 figure salary. I know tomorrow is not promised, but currently, I am very capable of taking care of the baby on my own and I am at peace. I feel that if he does not voluntarily seek to establish a relationship, I do not want to go through the headaches of forcing him to for a couple of dollers (if he is even working now). I just want to CYA for the future so that it does not come back as if I did something wrong. I do not have any contact info for his family.
 
ladybird04 said:
I'm not seeking state assistance. I make close to a 6 figure salary. I know tomorrow is not promised, but currently, I am very capable of taking care of the baby on my own and I am at peace. I feel that if he does not voluntarily seek to establish a relationship, I do not want to go through the headaches of forcing him to for a couple of dollers (if he is even working now). I just want to CYA for the future so that it does not come back as if I did something wrong. I do not have any contact info for his family.
I wasn't accusing you of being on state aid I was stating that it could become a problem if you were to need it. I would find some way to get contact info (especially for records just in case it is needed for health reasons). I would also find someway to be able to go back (if it does end up in Court 5 years from now) and show the Court that he had a way to locate/find you he obviously didn't try. THAT IS HOW YOU CYA in this situation.
 

nextwife

Senior Member
Stealth is SOOOOOO right! Never lie to your child or mislead them into thinking another person is their (bio)dad. My child has always, since before she had language, known that I am "not the mommy whose tummy she grew in" and that her daddy is "not the daddy that made her". That way it is never a shock to discover the truth, that others are her bioparents..
 
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LdiJ

Senior Member
I will give you one answer that no one else seemed to give.

Yes, he would have to find you and serve you in order to proceed with a case. This is not a case that could be done in any other way. He hasn't established paternity yet and that is going to require a DNA test. You can't do a DNA test "by publication" :D
 
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