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Can I refuse to return my son to his dads home? Unwed-never been to Court

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nikki_0982

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Maine

Ok I have a 6 yr old lil boy with my ex I left in 2007 due to a very controlling, verbally abusive relationship. I had been with the man for 5 years and things started going down hill the last two years of our relationship with fighting arguing etc. He always made several threat of hurting himself or I if I were to leave so I always ended up staying. Needless to say I ended up getting the courage to just leave him once and for all. Although He would not allow me to take the only vehicle we had in which i was the one who needed it most considering I was the only worker in the household..but you know what, I let him keep it..I was not about to let that hold me back after everything I had been through. Now the worst part of all this is my son was 3 yrs old at the time I left and I honestly had no destination when I left with NO permanent place to go and call home..(in other words had to bounce from friends to friends homes to stay nights) So obviously, I did not want to put my son through this unstable situation. THEREFORE, I left him with dad. I did keep contact with my son and took him on weekends when I had a place to stay with him etc..A few months go by I get my stuff together Get a new place and talk with his father about me getting him to come live with me and then his father started making threats that he would kill himself if I took my son from him etc etc..he said that my son was all he had in life and if i took him then that would be it and he would end his life. I was very scared so just let things be. Well needless to say it’s been 3 yrs and I want my son. He was Just hospitalized for a week with Bacterial Pneumonia…I was there all 7days/nights..his dad came to visit him 3 times for about an hour each time..when my son was released I let him go back to dads house because I needed to get back to work and don’t have child care set up for him yet…etc. Well Thursday evening he started running a temp again…bring him to doctors Friday, did chest x-ray and he has abscess on his lung now..I stayed in hospital with him last night and all day today. We got released after they did a pick line IV & now a home nurse is going to be coming to my house daily to give him his IV antibiotics for another 2-4 weeks..I had a huge argument with my sons dad about everything..his house being nasty etc etc..DHHS has been there last summer, for his Girl friend because a neighbor was concerned about the welfare of the children..After a long phone argument I told him I am not returning my son to him.. He says hes calling the police..Is there really anything he can do considering we were never married and have never been to court for any custody stuff?
 


LdiJ

Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Maine

Ok I have a 6 yr old lil boy with my ex I left in 2007 due to a very controlling, verbally abusive relationship. I had been with the man for 5 years and things started going down hill the last two years of our relationship with fighting arguing etc. He always made several threat of hurting himself or I if I were to leave so I always ended up staying. Needless to say I ended up getting the courage to just leave him once and for all. Although He would not allow me to take the only vehicle we had in which i was the one who needed it most considering I was the only worker in the household..but you know what, I let him keep it..I was not about to let that hold me back after everything I had been through. Now the worst part of all this is my son was 3 yrs old at the time I left and I honestly had no destination when I left with NO permanent place to go and call home..(in other words had to bounce from friends to friends homes to stay nights) So obviously, I did not want to put my son through this unstable situation. THEREFORE, I left him with dad. I did keep contact with my son and took him on weekends when I had a place to stay with him etc..A few months go by I get my stuff together Get a new place and talk with his father about me getting him to come live with me and then his father started making threats that he would kill himself if I took my son from him etc etc..he said that my son was all he had in life and if i took him then that would be it and he would end his life. I was very scared so just let things be. Well needless to say it’s been 3 yrs and I want my son. He was Just hospitalized for a week with Bacterial Pneumonia…I was there all 7days/nights..his dad came to visit him 3 times for about an hour each time..when my son was released I let him go back to dads house because I needed to get back to work and don’t have child care set up for him yet…etc. Well Thursday evening he started running a temp again…bring him to doctors Friday, did chest x-ray and he has abscess on his lung now..I stayed in hospital with him last night and all day today. We got released after they did a pick line IV & now a home nurse is going to be coming to my house daily to give him his IV antibiotics for another 2-4 weeks..I had a huge argument with my sons dad about everything..his house being nasty etc etc..DHHS has been there last summer, for his Girl friend because a neighbor was concerned about the welfare of the children..After a long phone argument I told him I am not returning my son to him.. He says hes calling the police..Is there really anything he can do considering we were never married and have never been to court for any custody stuff?
The police won't/can't help him at all...but he could make an emergency trip to court and possibly get you ordered to return the child to him, based on status quo.

Odds are it would be in your best interest (and the child's) to make an emergency trip to court yourself.
 

CJane

Senior Member
I would for sure make a trip to court Monday, if for no other reason than to avoid back and forth until the pick line is removed.

Really though, if/when you decide to actually do this through court, forget all that stuff about dad being mentally unstable or suicidal or mentally abusive or whatever - YOU LEFT YOUR CHILD THERE with him, that means YOU think he's a FIT AND PROPER parent.
 

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