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  1. #1
    Runt is offline Junior Member
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    Unhappy Can a Judge Force You to Move Residence?

    What is the name of your state?Hi, this is my first time to this forum, I am seeking advice or if anyone would know resources where I can get help. I have just lost in a child custody for my 6 year old son (although I have primary custody of my 10 year old son). One of the stipulations of the case is that I move within 7 miles of the father's residence. I live about 45 mn away from his home, I'm in Pennsylvania, (forgot to add that). Can the judge really make me uproot my other son from school? I have a 3 br apt. and only pay $425 a month plus electric and phone...I wouldn't be able to find this elsewhere. Not for a 3 br. I also am pregnant and really don't know what else to do, and the stress is affecting my unborn child as well. If anyone knows anything PLEASE let me know.
    Thanks So Much!!
    Runt
  2. #2
    stealth2 is offline Senior Member
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    Did you move the child away from his father? And yes, a judge can make proximity a deciding factor in custody decisions.

    Have you been married to any of these fathers?
  3. #3
    Runt is offline Junior Member
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    My son was taken from NY in Jan 04 (after a year of not even a phone call from the father and the year before he had seen him maybe 3 times considering HE had left state. He came back in Sept. 02) At one point he had lived a block away from me and hadn't even bothered. In March I had gotten an apt. in which the court agreed to, and I'm only 45 mn from Dad's house. I was taking my son back and fourth every other Tues, every Wed - Fri to and from school (almost 4 hours a day in the car) and it's been like this since March when I had gotten the place. This is a stable home, and moving is nearly impossible financially.

    As per to your question regarding marriage, yes, I was married to my older son's father, and we have a wonderful relationship, as well as with his wife. Any time that they want our 10 year old they get him, regardless of the court order. We feel it's best for our son. I wanted to marry my younger son's father, but he found any excuse not to (I later found out that he was with several others during our time together and ultimately ended things to be with the one he's with now), in which is a blessing, he was VERY abusive in every aspect of the word. I'm now engaged to a childhood friend (our fathers were the best of friends) and we're expecting a baby together in May. Combined this will be child #4. I have my 10 year old and 6 year old, he has a 2 year old and the new one.


    Did you move the child away from his father? And yes, a judge can make
    proximity a deciding factor in custody decisions.

    Have you been married to any of these fathers?
  4. #4
    worriedmomof4 is offline Junior Member
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    Have you been married to any of these fathers?[/QUOTE]

    What does this have to do with the question of do I have to move legally?
  5. #5
    stealth2 is offline Senior Member
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    It doesn't show a great deal of stability in Mom's life - which could play a role in whether she's allowed to move with the child, as well as in a custody decision. And yes, it would be a factor if it was the father with kids all over with different women, too.
  6. #6
    Runt is offline Junior Member
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    The thing is that I am trying to have stability and put roots down for my children. I am currently engaged to be married, I have primary custody of my 10 year old and am expecting another child in May. I will continue fighting for my 6 year old but I don't want to uproot my 10 year old in school and our homelife
  7. #7
    stealth2 is offline Senior Member
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    How many times have you moved since the 10yo was born?
  8. #8
    Runt is offline Junior Member
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    Since my 10 year old had been born...to be completely honest, quite a bit, I had gone through the separation and divorce and had moved a few times during my relationship with my younger son's father. This is why it's so important to my fiance and myself to put roots down. My 10 year old has been uprooted enough, he's in a good school and we have a decent 3 br apt in a nicer section of town...the area in which the judge wants me to make this move to is in a seedier section with alot of drugs. I don't want to raise my children in a place like that. Where I am currently living is perfect for us, you can't find a 3 br apt for $425 a month unless you're in the ghetto. With baby #4 (combined) coming, we need the 3 bedrooms. My finances won't allow higher rent. Plus it's a good school district and a quiet (seemingly) drug free neighborhood.
  9. #9
    stealth2 is offline Senior Member
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    That's where your problem is going to be, to be completely honest. I'm not trying to tear you down, but to give you an impartial and objective view of things. Try to take this in that spirit, okay?

    You have two children, and one on the way. Three different fathers, only one of which you've been married to. Frankly, engaged isn't the same as married. You have moved at least one of those children repeatedly, and the second one at least once. It would appear that neither of those children live in close proximity to their fathers. Now you are adding a third child, and a third father, into the mix.

    I have a feeling that the judge looked at this situation and had some or all of the following thoughts. Here is a woman who seems to have some difficulty in maintaining relationships. Who's to say that the current one is going to last any longer than the previous two. How many other relationships have there been that I don't know about? Oldest kid has been moved around a lot, but his Dad doesn't seem to be arguing about it. The younger one has been moved and while Dad may not be perfect, Mom didn't have the permission of the court to move (I forgot to ask if you did or not, and am assuming you didn't) and Dad wants the kid closer to build a relationship. That's a good sign. It would be better for all the kids to be in one place, where at least two out of three fathers are in close proximity.

    Like I said, I hope you take it in the spirit it's intended. Are there places closer to Dad (and close to the 7 mile radius restriction, like 10 or 12 miles) that would be more acceptable? An argument could be made for that as an alternative where you'd be close, but in a better area for the kids. Do you have an attorney? I'm suspecting not, and it would be wise for you to at least consult one.
  10. #10
    SMURFEELAW is offline Member
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    And just as a point of interest if you don't abide by the order you could lose custody b/c the judge may not be able to physically make you pick up and move but he can make the child.
  11. #11
    LdiJ is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by stealth2
    That's where your problem is going to be, to be completely honest. I'm not trying to tear you down, but to give you an impartial and objective view of things. Try to take this in that spirit, okay?

    You have two children, and one on the way. Three different fathers, only one of which you've been married to. Frankly, engaged isn't the same as married. You have moved at least one of those children repeatedly, and the second one at least once. It would appear that neither of those children live in close proximity to their fathers. Now you are adding a third child, and a third father, into the mix.

    I have a feeling that the judge looked at this situation and had some or all of the following thoughts. Here is a woman who seems to have some difficulty in maintaining relationships. Who's to say that the current one is going to last any longer than the previous two. How many other relationships have there been that I don't know about? Oldest kid has been moved around a lot, but his Dad doesn't seem to be arguing about it. The younger one has been moved and while Dad may not be perfect, Mom didn't have the permission of the court to move (I forgot to ask if you did or not, and am assuming you didn't) and Dad wants the kid closer to build a relationship. That's a good sign. It would be better for all the kids to be in one place, where at least two out of three fathers are in close proximity.

    Like I said, I hope you take it in the spirit it's intended. Are there places closer to Dad (and close to the 7 mile radius restriction, like 10 or 12 miles) that would be more acceptable? An argument could be made for that as an alternative where you'd be close, but in a better area for the kids. Do you have an attorney? I'm suspecting not, and it would be wise for you to at least consult one.
    Ok....I really think she needs an attorney if she can possibly swing it. 45 minutes isn't very far if she is willing to do all the driving to accomodate parenting time. However if the judge is leaning towards 50/50 custody, then the restriction on how far she can live from dad makes sense because of school.

    At the same time though, it really seems as though she may be living in a better community, with possibly better schools, and there is a slight chance that a good attorney could make the argument that dad should be the one to move closer rather than mom...(its a stretch, I know...)

    Its a bit odd for a judge to require a parent to move in order to maintain custody, when they have lived somewhere for 9 months...with the judge's knowledge. Therefore my only conclusion is that the judge thinks that things should be 50/50.

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