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can mother of my child move out of state during a paternity hearing??

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dabbey

Junior Member
i live in new york state and the mother of my child has been keeping me from him sense his birth in january. i petitioned the courts for paternity and we went to court on april 2nd. on the 4th of april we had a dna test done. i recieved the results in the mail on april 19th. the results said that i was the father of said child with a 99.99% chance. 2 days later she moved with the child out of state and we go back to court on may21st. is she allowed to do that in the middle of a paternity case?? if not, what could happen about it and what could i do as a result??
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
i live in new york state and the mother of my child has been keeping me from him sense his birth in january. i petitioned the courts for paternity and we went to court on april 2nd. on the 4th of april we had a dna test done. i recieved the results in the mail on april 19th. the results said that i was the father of said child with a 99.99% chance. 2 days later she moved with the child out of state and we go back to court on may21st. is she allowed to do that in the middle of a paternity case?? if not, what could happen about it and what could i do as a result??
File immediately to have the child returned to the state of New York. Since there was an ongoing court battle, mother would have had to file for permission to move.
 

BL

Senior Member
File immediately to have the child returned to the state of New York. Since there was an ongoing court battle, mother would have had to file for permission to move.
While I agree the poster should look into filing to have the child returned to NY immediately, it may not happen until requested on May 21st and then still may not happen then .

Once paternity has been established by the court under the welfare act a child support proceeding may occur.

Once paternity is established the poster needs to file for a custody/visitation petition and at that point request of the child's return to NY.

If the court orders the child's return to NY , the poster then can have a order included that the child is not to be removed from the State of NY by either parent without written permission except for vacations.

As of now there is no violation as paternity hasn't even been established by a court order , nor is there a custody/visitation order in place to be violated.
 
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Ohiogal

Queen Bee
While I agree the poster should look into filing to have the child returned to NY immediately, it may not happen until requested on May 21st and then still may not happen then .

Once paternity has been established by the court under the welfare act a child support proceeding may occur.

Once paternity is established the poster needs to file for a custody/visitation petition and at that point request of the child's return to NY.

If the court orders the child's return to NY , the poster then can have a order included that the child is not to be removed from the State of NY by either parent without written permission except for vacations.

As of now there is no violation as paternity hasn't even been established by a court order , nor is there a custody/visitation order in place to be violated.
I was reading that he petitioned the courts for paternity (and then added to it with my own assumptions that he also petitioned for custody/visitation/support/etc. -- my bad. Dang. You know what they say about assuming. Crap.). But yes, OP should definitely immediately petition for custody/visitation -- if he hasn't already -- and have the child returned to NY.
 

BL

Senior Member
I was reading that he petitioned the courts for paternity (and then added to it with my own assumptions that he also petitioned for custody/visitation/support/etc. -- my bad. Dang. You know what they say about assuming. Crap.). But yes, OP should definitely immediately petition for custody/visitation -- if he hasn't already -- and have the child returned to NY.
Yes the wise thing to do would have petitioned for Paternity/Custody/Visitations all at one time.

I'm going by what the poster stated as far as filing for paternity.
 
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dabbey

Junior Member
i do have a lawyer, he said that paternity has to be established first before we can file for custody. as soon as i found out that she moved him out of state i called him and told him about it, he said that it wasnt good for her, but that was all he said, we scheduled an appointment with him for next thursday but everyday seems to get longer and longer and the stress im under just seems to be getting worse because i dont know much at moment, which is why im posting on here hopefully to get some info and maybe calm my nerves.
he also told me that because the results of the test came in that i can try to contact her about visitation with my son. im constantly worried about his safety because she got back together with her exboyfriend, who she left because of his overcontrolling issues and she told me he swung at her a few times. i kno i cant control who she sees and im not even bringing that up to her. her and her parents keep telling everybody that im threating them and being vary rude to them over the phone. i have proof that im not, i got a voice recorder to tape the phone calls and im as polite and nice as i can. using please and thank you and telling her that i only want to be apart of his life and that i want him to kno who his daddy is and for him to meet his older brothers. i have 2 boys that live with me, they are 5 and 7, and they constantly ask me when they can meet their little brother, it breaks my heart that i cant tell them when i can only tell them "i dont know buddy, daddy is working on it."
i know that in ny they look for the best interests in the child, they look to see who can spend more time at home with him, they look to see if he has any siblings, and where they live, which is with me. and they look to see if the parents are trying to be civil with each other or not, well im trying but she isnt. i believe that we should both be civil for the childs benefit, he deserves to have both of his parents in his life and that it is about him and his best interests. but all she does is ignore me and wont return any of my messages or emails concerning visits or how he is doing, heath wise or just his well being.
dosnt this show the court that she is unwilling to cooperate with me as the father, and that she is going to the extreme to keep him from me?? all i want to do is share the child with her and be there for my son, but all she seems to want to do is keep him from me. im posting on here to try and relieve my stress and prepare myself for my upcoming meeting with my lawyer, so i really apprieciate everyones input on this and thank u for them as well.
 

BL

Senior Member
i do have a lawyer, he said that paternity has to be established first before we can file for custody. as soon as i found out that she moved him out of state i called him and told him about it, he said that it wasnt good for her, but that was all he said, we scheduled an appointment with him for next thursday but everyday seems to get longer and longer and the stress im under just seems to be getting worse because i dont know much at moment, which is why im posting on here hopefully to get some info and maybe calm my nerves.
he also told me that because the results of the test came in that i can try to contact her about visitation with my son. im constantly worried about his safety because she got back together with her exboyfriend, who she left because of his overcontrolling issues and she told me he swung at her a few times. i kno i cant control who she sees and im not even bringing that up to her. her and her parents keep telling everybody that im threating them and being vary rude to them over the phone. i have proof that im not, i got a voice recorder to tape the phone calls and im as polite and nice as i can. using please and thank you and telling her that i only want to be apart of his life and that i want him to kno who his daddy is and for him to meet his older brothers. i have 2 boys that live with me, they are 5 and 7, and they constantly ask me when they can meet their little brother, it breaks my heart that i cant tell them when i can only tell them "i dont know buddy, daddy is working on it."
i know that in ny they look for the best interests in the child, they look to see who can spend more time at home with him, they look to see if he has any siblings, and where they live, which is with me. and they look to see if the parents are trying to be civil with each other or not, well im trying but she isnt. i believe that we should both be civil for the childs benefit, he deserves to have both of his parents in his life and that it is about him and his best interests. but all she does is ignore me and wont return any of my messages or emails concerning visits or how he is doing, heath wise or just his well being.
dosnt this show the court that she is unwilling to cooperate with me as the father, and that she is going to the extreme to keep him from me?? all i want to do is share the child with her and be there for my son, but all she seems to want to do is keep him from me. im posting on here to try and relieve my stress and prepare myself for my upcoming meeting with my lawyer, so i really apprieciate everyones input on this and thank u for them as well.
This is a legal site and as such , I'll give some legal advice.Emotions have NO bearing in court.

You have an Attorney. Work with the Attorney . I'd advise in the meantime since the mother and family state you are threatening over the phone ,not to try and call again .

The mother may be using it as an excuse as to why she moved.

BTW , phone recordings are only allowed if the court orders phone recordings.
 

breezymom

Member
Emotions being a "no-go" in court is one of THE things to keep in mind. They aren't necessarily a no-go, but 99.9% of the time that is the rule. It pisses off the judges, honestly. Let your lawyer do the talking is the best thing to do, unless you are asked something directly, and even then, keep biases/emotions out of it.

There is, at the bottom of the custody/visitation order, in NY, a box to check with a statement following it that the child may not be removed from X county and one for state, as well, I am sure. I don't have my own order in front of me for the exact wording, but I recall asking the judge a question directly about that clause. Make SURE you have it specified on your court order for what purposes, i/e for relocation only or may not be removed at all. That is very important.
 

BL

Senior Member
Emotions being a "no-go" in court is one of THE things to keep in mind. They aren't necessarily a no-go, but 99.9% of the time that is the rule. It pisses off the judges, honestly. Let your lawyer do the talking is the best thing to do, unless you are asked something directly, and even then, keep biases/emotions out of it.

There is, at the bottom of the custody/visitation order, in NY, a box to check with a statement following it that the child may not be removed from X county and one for state, as well, I am sure. I don't have my own order in front of me for the exact wording, but I recall asking the judge a question directly about that clause. Make SURE you have it specified on your court order for what purposes, i/e for relocation only or may not be removed at all. That is very important.
I also forgot , request Joint Legal Custody. Your rights are better pertected under the law. Joint legal custody is designed however for both parents who can communicate about major issues concerning the child and come up with decisions.

Ask you lawyer about both issue mentioned here.

My original order was by agreement with the no removal clause worded as I described.
 

dabbey

Junior Member
i am keeping the emotions out of it, i dont even bring them up. my lawyer says that the stress that all this causes me is important to bring up. im all about the child and his best interests. she is using the child against me for reasons unknown to me cuz as far as i can recall i did nothing to deserve this. all i want is to be apart of his life and for him to know who his daddy is. she is doing whatever she can to keep him from me, not letting me see him, not letting me know anything about his health or well being. whenever i have tried to talk to her i never bring up or ask why she broke it off with me or even ask why she is keeping me from him, i only ask about him and his health or about some visitation time with him. i dont tell her that she cant be with someone else or anything like that. i mean ya im hurt but i know that "feelings" dont play much of a roll in court. im trying to show that im trying to be civil and trying to communicate about the child, and all she is doing is showing that she refuses to communicate with me, wont be civil and is doing everything that she can to keep the child from me. this just breaks my heart because its my son that is suffering the most out of all of this, he deserves better, he deserves his whole family in his life and not to be kept from them. it sucks that she is only thinking of herself and not the child in my opinion. thanks for everyones time and in put i really do apprieciate it.
 

lala0024

Member
File immediately to have the child returned to the state of New York. Since there was an ongoing court battle, mother would have had to file for permission to move.



I haven't read this whole thread, but Wow, that was a very bad move on her part imo.
 

dabbey

Junior Member
so ive talked to my lawyer and he said it isnt looking good for her at all, i just gotta hang in there and be patient. he had me sign a petition for custody and also requested that placement be with me. ive received a letter from the court and the custody hearing starts on may 29th. we still go for the paternity hearing on the 21st. i should receive my visitation with him starting then but it prolly wont be overnights right away. if she continues to with hold the child from me at that point then her rights as the mother will be stripped by the courts and sole custody will be granted to me. he said that if she does allow me to see him then i still have a solid case for placement. a law gaurdian will be appointed to him and these points will be addressed then; 1. she has been with holding any information about him and the child himself from me; 2. she moved out of state right after the paternity results came in, which is a no no on her part, not against the law but dosnt look good that she did it; 3. his 2 brothers live with me and the courts want siblings together as much as possible, 4. ive been trying to communicate with her about the child and she refuses too, again not against the law at moment but still dosnt look good for her, 5. she needs to send the child to daycare in order to go to work where as i dont, im an at home dad and can be with him 24/7 if need be, they do look to see which parent can be home with the child the most. my lawyer said that these are all strong points and will be brought up in the custody hearing, also there is a drug test that she took while she was pregnant by her doctor, she was 6 months along and was well aware that she was pregnant when she was smoking the drugs and the courts will and can request her doctor records and shows that she wasnt even concerned enough about the baby to not do drugs while she was pregnant. if there is anything else that i should bring up to my lawyer before we go to court please mention it as i do greatly apprieciate it. thank you
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
so ive talked to my lawyer and he said it isnt looking good for her at all, i just gotta hang in there and be patient. he had me sign a petition for custody and also requested that placement be with me. ive received a letter from the court and the custody hearing starts on may 29th. we still go for the paternity hearing on the 21st. i should receive my visitation with him starting then but it prolly wont be overnights right away. if she continues to with hold the child from me at that point then her rights as the mother will be stripped by the courts and sole custody will be granted to me. he said that if she does allow me to see him then i still have a solid case for placement. a law gaurdian will be appointed to him and these points will be addressed then; 1. she has been with holding any information about him and the child himself from me; 2. she moved out of state right after the paternity results came in, which is a no no on her part, not against the law but dosnt look good that she did it; 3. his 2 brothers live with me and the courts want siblings together as much as possible, 4. ive been trying to communicate with her about the child and she refuses too, again not against the law at moment but still dosnt look good for her, 5. she needs to send the child to daycare in order to go to work where as i dont, im an at home dad and can be with him 24/7 if need be, they do look to see which parent can be home with the child the most. my lawyer said that these are all strong points and will be brought up in the custody hearing, also there is a drug test that she took while she was pregnant by her doctor, she was 6 months along and was well aware that she was pregnant when she was smoking the drugs and the courts will and can request her doctor records and shows that she wasnt even concerned enough about the baby to not do drugs while she was pregnant. if there is anything else that i should bring up to my lawyer before we go to court please mention it as i do greatly apprieciate it. thank you
Her rights as a MOTHER will NOT be stripped by the court. And unless his two brothers were also born to her they are NOT his full siblings. They are half siblings. Why don't you work? They also look to see who the primary caregiver of the child HAS BEEN. And it has NOT been you. Doctor records are protected by doctor/patient confidentiality.
 

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