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  1. #1
    mommyinmiddle is offline Junior Member
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    Arrow Can a parent take a child out of state during a custody battle?

    What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Missouri
    I am currently in the process of divorce and custody battle and my husband wants to take our daughter to Oregon with him to move his sister back here. Can he legally take her out of Missouri while this is pending? I do have custody at this time and she is in Head Start. I don't want her to go but do I have the right to say no. She is only 3 almost 4 yrs old and they are going to fly out, pack for about 3 days and it will be a 4 day trip back in a U-Haul. He says I need to get off my high horse because I don't feel it would be in her best interest to go. Most of his family does live there but she has never met them anyway and she has many years ahead of her that she could go.
  2. #2
    Ohiogal is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by mommyinmiddle View Post
    What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Missouri
    I am currently in the process of divorce and custody battle and my husband wants to take our daughter to Oregon with him to move his sister back here. Can he legally take her out of Missouri while this is pending? I do have custody at this time and she is in Head Start. I don't want her to go but do I have the right to say no. She is only 3 almost 4 yrs old and they are going to fly out, pack for about 3 days and it will be a 4 day trip back in a U-Haul. He says I need to get off my high horse because I don't feel it would be in her best interest to go. Most of his family does live there but she has never met them anyway and she has many years ahead of her that she could go.
    Oh good grief. You do need to get off your high horse. He can take her out of Missouri as he is NOT moving her out of the state but going for a visit. He has as much say as you do unless there are court orders to the contrary. You are getting a divorce which means dad will get to make decisions and his decisions will most likely not agree with yours. Dad is going to be with her and be able to introduce the child to his family.
    Parents should remember 3 things: Love your kids more than you hate your ex; when you have children the relationship with the other parent is until death; your children determine what type of nursing home you end up in.
    Nothing stated by me should be taken as giving you legal advice or forming an attorney/client relationship.

    Attorney-GAL in Ohio.

    I've removed the knife from my back, polished it, and will one day return it -- long after you think I have forgotten.
  3. #3
    LdiJ is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by mommyinmiddle View Post
    What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Missouri
    I am currently in the process of divorce and custody battle and my husband wants to take our daughter to Oregon with him to move his sister back here. Can he legally take her out of Missouri while this is pending? I do have custody at this time and she is in Head Start. I don't want her to go but do I have the right to say no. She is only 3 almost 4 yrs old and they are going to fly out, pack for about 3 days and it will be a 4 day trip back in a U-Haul. He says I need to get off my high horse because I don't feel it would be in her best interest to go. Most of his family does live there but she has never met them anyway and she has many years ahead of her that she could go.
    OG is right that you both have equal rights. However, unless the 7 day period of this trip would fall on strictly dad's court ordered parenting time you do not have to agree to him taking her on this particular trip.

    Quite frankly, 4 days in a U-Haul would be miserable for both the 4 year old, and dad. It wouldn't be a picnic in a car either, but in a U-Haul it would be terrible.

    Dad wants his family to see the child, but dad isn't thinking this through rationally.
  4. #4
    TheGeekess is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by LdiJ View Post
    OG is right that you both have equal rights. However, unless the 7 day period of this trip would fall on strictly dad's court ordered parenting time you do not have to agree to him taking her on this particular trip.

    Quite frankly, 4 days in a U-Haul would be miserable for both the 4 year old, and dad. It wouldn't be a picnic in a car either, but in a U-Haul it would be terrible.

    Dad wants his family to see the child, but dad isn't thinking this through rationally.
    That's what portable DVD players and earphones are for, as well as playing 'I Spy' and 'Car Tag Bingo'. The Dad used to sing novelty songs to us in the car. I'm probably the only 44 year old that knows the words to "Mairsy Doats".
  5. #5
    LdiJ is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheGeekess View Post
    That's what portable DVD players and earphones are for, as well as playing 'I Spy' and 'Car Tag Bingo'. The Dad used to sing novelty songs to us in the car. I'm probably the only 44 year old that knows the words to "Mairsy Doats".
    Have you ever ridden in a U-Haul? Like I said, a car is one thing, a U-Haul is another.
  6. #6
    cyjeff is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheGeekess View Post
    That's what portable DVD players and earphones are for, as well as playing 'I Spy' and 'Car Tag Bingo'. The Dad used to sing novelty songs to us in the car. I'm probably the only 44 year old that knows the words to "Mairsy Doats".
    Isn't that how the Allied Forces got the Enemy to talk when captured (apparently, the Naz word isn't allowed..)?

    "Mairsy Doats and Doesy Doats and little lambs edivey... a kiddly divey too, wouldn't you....
    If the words sound qu eer and funny to your ear, a little bit jumbled and jivey.. sing "Mares eat oats and does eat oats and little lambs eat ivy a kid will eat ivy too, wouldn't you.... Ohhhhhh....."

    I really need to sue my parents for abuse... I can still hear Jimmy Durante....

    Boy, the PC police made this post impossible... I can name the enemy in WWII, I can't use the word that starts with qu has an eer on the end.... wow.
    Last edited by cyjeff; 10-12-2008 at 09:13 AM.
  7. #7
    stealth2 is offline Senior Member
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    My not-yet-ex took our 5yo on a similar length trip in a pick-up. They both enjoyed it.
  8. #8
    Ohiogal is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by LdiJ View Post
    OG is right that you both have equal rights. However, unless the 7 day period of this trip would fall on strictly dad's court ordered parenting time you do not have to agree to him taking her on this particular trip.

    Quite frankly, 4 days in a U-Haul would be miserable for both the 4 year old, and dad. It wouldn't be a picnic in a car either, but in a U-Haul it would be terrible.

    Dad wants his family to see the child, but dad isn't thinking this through rationally.
    She doesn't say that they have any court ordered time at all -- just that she has custody which could mean that the child just happens to be with her. Not that it is court ordered. Now if she wants to come back and state that there is court ordered time at all that would be nice. And actually it could be fun. I have been in an UHaul lately....
    Parents should remember 3 things: Love your kids more than you hate your ex; when you have children the relationship with the other parent is until death; your children determine what type of nursing home you end up in.
    Nothing stated by me should be taken as giving you legal advice or forming an attorney/client relationship.

    Attorney-GAL in Ohio.

    I've removed the knife from my back, polished it, and will one day return it -- long after you think I have forgotten.
  9. #9
    CJane is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ohiogal View Post
    She doesn't say that they have any court ordered time at all -- just that she has custody which could mean that the child just happens to be with her. Not that it is court ordered.
    I would be very interested in finding out if there IS a temp order for custody/visitation/etc. Missouri rarely enters temp orders while a divorce is pending.
  10. #10
    nextwife is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by cyjeff View Post
    Isn't that how the Allied Forces got the Enemy to talk when captured (apparently, the Naz word isn't allowed..)?

    "Mairsy Doats and Doesy Doats and little lambs edivey... a kiddly divey too, wouldn't you....
    If the words sound qu eer and funny to your ear, a little bit jumbled and jivey.. sing "Mares eat oats and does eat oats and little lambs eat ivy a kid will eat ivy too, wouldn't you.... Ohhhhhh....."

    I really need to sue my parents for abuse... I can still hear Jimmy Durante....

    Boy, the PC police made this post impossible... I can name the enemy in WWII, I can't use the word that starts with qu has an eer on the end.... wow.
    Virtually every family trip when I was a kid involved several days in the car - in each direction. I did not fly until I was 17.

    I have very fond memories of these trips, complete with singing, thermos's of hot coffee wafting smells through the car, mom's roast, brisket or whatever that was made the day before we left in the insulated food container being made into sandwiches at stops along the way. And we were bouncing around on the bench seats and in the back of a station wagon. Not comfy and no seat belts.
    Last edited by nextwife; 10-12-2008 at 11:18 AM.
  11. #11
    stealth2 is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by nextwife View Post
    Not comfy and no seat belts.
    No A/C, either. AM radio, no cassette players.
  12. #12
    nextwife is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by stealth2 View Post
    No A/C, either. AM radio, no cassette players, either.
    Exactly! What AC?

    No game consoles, no MP3 players, no portable DVD players and no cel phones.

    And very few fast food franchises. No completed US interstate system, which meant back roads full of signs for pecans, fireworks and Stuckeys. Maybe an occasional Big Boy restaurant. And no nice, clean McDonald's bathrooms.
  13. #13
    mommyinmiddle is offline Junior Member
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    I do actually have temporary physical custody. I had to file a motion for return of child because he wouldn't give her back to me and wouldn't let me see her unless I came to his house and stay the night. The judge did order him to return her to me. He has visitation on every Thursday at 6:00pm till Friday at 6:00pm and every other week from Thursday at 6:00 till Sunday at 6:00pm per our agreement. My daughter has met most of his family except for some cousins. She just met the two aunts when they were here to visit their mother before she died last month. I would also like to mention that he has told my daughter that I didn't love her or I would be there like a family is supposed to be. That this is all mommy's fault. She took your family away. She took family and Jesus out of your heart. He has told her that I am not her boss and if I was to yell, put her in time-out or spank her to tell him and he would call the police and have me put into jail. This has really caused problems with her behavior and respect for me.
  14. #14
    Ohiogal is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by mommyinmiddle View Post
    I do actually have temporary physical custody. I had to file a motion for return of child because he wouldn't give her back to me and wouldn't let me see her unless I came to his house and stay the night. The judge did order him to return her to me. He has visitation on every Thursday at 6:00pm till Friday at 6:00pm and every other week from Thursday at 6:00 till Sunday at 6:00pm per our agreement. My daughter has met most of his family except for some cousins. She just met the two aunts when they were here to visit their mother before she died last month. I would also like to mention that he has told my daughter that I didn't love her or I would be there like a family is supposed to be. That this is all mommy's fault. She took your family away. She took family and Jesus out of your heart. He has told her that I am not her boss and if I was to yell, put her in time-out or spank her to tell him and he would call the police and have me put into jail. This has really caused problems with her behavior and respect for me.

    Most of the above doesn't matter. Seriously. You both need to get an understanding that you are stuck with each other. Follow the court order. It is that simple. he cannot take her out of town on days other than what is in the court order without your agreement. Simply stating what your court order said would have been extremely relevant and made it extremely easy to get an accurate answer.
    Parents should remember 3 things: Love your kids more than you hate your ex; when you have children the relationship with the other parent is until death; your children determine what type of nursing home you end up in.
    Nothing stated by me should be taken as giving you legal advice or forming an attorney/client relationship.

    Attorney-GAL in Ohio.

    I've removed the knife from my back, polished it, and will one day return it -- long after you think I have forgotten.
  15. #15
    CJane is offline Senior Member
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    op ~ Do you have an attorney? Have you requested a Guardian ad Litem be appointed to the case?

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