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Can Right of First Refusal lead to loss of custody?

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MagenH

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? TX

I have been divorced a year and a half. My ex had RFR put into our decree so that every single time I need a babysitter for more than 3 hours he has to be offered the right to have my kids.

I am a full time student and a server at nights and on weekends. He has a telecommuting job that allows him to work from home. However, while he is on 5 hour long conference calls at home, he has his girlfriend watch the kids. He never offers me right of first refusal even when she is unavailable; he takes them to a drop off daycare.

My question is that I am afraid he will seek custody if I allow him to have the kids much more often than his original visitation, and if that is a viable reason for a judge to overturn custody?

As co-parents, we barely communicate about anything. He badgers me about RFR constantly and he has suggested multiple times that I get a job that is more condusive to my children.

I have two to three more years of school until I graduate as an environmental engineer. I maintain 4.0 gradepoint average, take care of 3 children and work around 25-30 hours a week.

I was unable to work or go back to school during my marriage because of his job and hours. He can work anywhere from 70-100 hours a week.

I want what is best for my children, is getting RFR taken out of a decree hard? Can he have custody overturned based on my need to work and attend school? I just need some sound advice please.

Magen
 


stealth2

Under the Radar Member
The wording of your order is important - please post it (absent names) so that we can see what you're up against.

However, I doubt you're going to get ROFR removed. You should consider filing against him for contempt if you can prove that he is not providing you the ability to watch the children as ordered when he works.
 

MagenH

Junior Member
Right of First Refusal - If a parent will be absent for more than 4 hours while the children are in that parent's care, then that parent shall notify the other parent, and the other parent will have the right to care for the children during that absence.

That is the exact wording in the decree... which means since he is technically at home but working than he is not in contempt?
 

mistoffolees

Senior Member
Right of First Refusal - If a parent will be absent for more than 4 hours while the children are in that parent's care, then that parent shall notify the other parent, and the other parent will have the right to care for the children during that absence.

That is the exact wording in the decree... which means since he is technically at home but working than he is not in contempt?
Short answer - yes. He is not in contempt if he's at home with the kids. If he takes them to daycare for over 4 hours, then he would be in contempt.
 
Last edited:

I'mTheFather

Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? TX

I have been divorced a year and a half. My ex had RFR put into our decree so that every single time I need a babysitter for more than 3 hours he has to be offered the right to have my kids.

I am a full time student and a server at nights and on weekends. He has a telecommuting job that allows him to work from home. However, while he is on 5 hour long conference calls at home, he has his girlfriend watch the kids. He never offers me right of first refusal even when she is unavailable; he takes them to a drop off daycare.

My question is that I am afraid he will seek custody if I allow him to have the kids much more often than his original visitation, and if that is a viable reason for a judge to overturn custody?

As co-parents, we barely communicate about anything. He badgers me about RFR constantly and he has suggested multiple times that I get a job that is more condusive to my children.

I have two to three more years of school until I graduate as an environmental engineer. I maintain 4.0 gradepoint average, take care of 3 children and work around 25-30 hours a week.

I was unable to work or go back to school during my marriage because of his job and hours. He can work anywhere from 70-100 hours a week.

I want what is best for my children, is getting RFR taken out of a decree hard? Can he have custody overturned based on my need to work and attend school? I just need some sound advice please.

Magen
The bolded isn't in compliance with the order. Can you prove it?
 

MagenH

Junior Member
I know he is not watching them according to my children ... the oldest is 11. My eleven year old tells me that my ex's girlfriend feeds them, plays with them etc. However, I have brought this up to my ex and he has told me to hire a private investigator and prove that he is not at home. The catch is that he is at home, just not watching his children. Which I would not care, if he was not constantly harrassing me about me contacting him about right of first refusal. And I do not think there is anyway to prove it, unless my children testify. Which is obviously not a healthy option.

Since his girlfriend now lives with him, he no longer uses the drop off daycare.
 

mistoffolees

Senior Member
I know he is not watching them according to my children ... the oldest is 11. My eleven year old tells me that my ex's girlfriend feeds them, plays with them etc. However, I have brought this up to my ex and he has told me to hire a private investigator and prove that he is not at home. The catch is that he is at home, just not watching his children. Which I would not care, if he was not constantly harrassing me about me contacting him about right of first refusal. And I do not think there is anyway to prove it, unless my children testify. Which is obviously not a healthy option.

Since his girlfriend now lives with him, he no longer uses the drop off daycare.
As you were told, if he is in the home with the kids, he is not in contempt.
 

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