Can she do anything?

[elaine60]

What is the name of your state? Indiana A friend of mine and her child moved in with me and my children about 5 weeks ago after leaving her husband. She told me they were going to file for legal separation. She told me how she was never allowed to go anywhere and he would not let he get a job or have any friends. He worked during the day and ran with his friends at night. His mom and dad always kept an eye on her while he was out making sure she did not go anywhere. I am a single mother raising my own children without help from their father.

The week of Thanksgiving he took the little girl and she stayed with him for a week. The following Tuesday after Thanksgiving he told her she could pick the little girl up. I went with her and their seemed to be no problems.

During this time I spoke different times with my mother and she asked if my friend was getting support. I told her no and she said that my friend needed to go file for temporary support and custody of the child.
My friend had told me that her and her husband had signed an agreement that stated that they both would have access to their daughter. So I did not worry because at that point I thought she had things handled.


She then told me that he husband said she could not file for custody where I live because she had not lived there long enough nor could she get child support since they had not filed for divorce.

She continued to go every day to look for a job and things seemed to be ok.

Anyway her husband was supposed to bring the little girl back this evening. During the day she received a call from him. In the call he said that he had gone and seen an attorney, he said he had filed for divorce and custody of their daughter. He also told her that his attorney had advised him to keep possession of their daughter until custody was established.

He did tell her she could come see their daughter anytime as long as it was at his folks home where he resides and that the visit would be supervised.

I do not believe that he has accomplished all of this in one day. I believe he is lying to her. Is there anything she can do to regain her daughter back?

He told her he would get custody because she does not have a job or a home. That is not totally true she is leaving with me in my home and she has found a part time job.

[tigger22472]

Originally Posted by elaine60

What is the name of your state? Indiana A friend of mine and her child moved in with me and my children about 5 weeks ago after leaving her husband.

How far do you live from where your friend was living?

She told me they were going to file for legal separation. She told me how she was never allowed to go anywhere and he would not let he get a job or have any friends. He worked during the day and ran with his friends at night. His mom and dad always kept an eye on her while he was out making sure she did not go anywhere. I am a single mother raising my own children without help from their father.


None of this is relevant.

The week of Thanksgiving he took the little girl and she stayed with him for a week. The following Tuesday after Thanksgiving he told her she could pick the little girl up. I went with her and their seemed to be no problems.

ok.. again, how far are we talking?

During this time I spoke different times with my mother and she asked if my friend was getting support. I told her no and she said that my friend needed to go file for temporary support and custody of the child.

That would probably be smart

My friend had told me that her and her husband had signed an agreement that stated that they both would have access to their daughter. So I did not worry because at that point I thought she had things handled.

Not your job to worry but just for the record.. unless that agreement was signed by a judge it means squat


She then told me that he husband said she could not file for custody where I live because she had not lived there long enough nor could she get child support since they had not filed for divorce.

There are residential requirements... it's usually 6 months

She continued to go every day to look for a job and things seemed to be ok.

Not relevant

Anyway her husband was supposed to bring the little girl back this evening. During the day she received a call from him. In the call he said that he had gone and seen an attorney, he said he had filed for divorce and custody of their daughter. He also told her that his attorney had advised him to keep possession of their daughter until custody was established.

Sounds like the attorney gave him sound legal advice.

He did tell her she could come see their daughter anytime as long as it was at his folks home where he resides and that the visit would be supervised.

He now has physical custody of the child and seems to be running things. If he allows her to see the child alone then he would/could be in the situation she is in. This is what happens when people wait to get anything legal. They both CAN have possession of the child... and both can prevent possession of the child.

I do not believe that he has accomplished all of this in one day. I believe he is lying to her. Is there anything she can do to regain her daughter back?

Not if dad or his parents prevent it... She could try to get the police to get the child from the grandparents when she's there but they don't like to get involved in such things. I don't know why you feel he couldn't have gotten this accomplished in one day.. .it's very possible.

He told her he would get custody because she does not have a job or a home. That is not totally true she is leaving with me in my home and she has found a part time job.

It may or may not be true... without knowing the people or the complete details there's no way of telling. If dad can show he's stable he has a chance at custody. If you live a fair distance away.. he has a chance at custody. If mom has been the primary caregiver than she has a chance. Custody is a toss up... but right now he has physical custody of the child... seeing as he filed first and he has the child physically I really wouldn't be surprised if he retains at the very least temporary custody with mom having visitation but no one can say for sure. The only thing I DO know is your friend needs an attorney...NOW

[CJane]

If there are no orders in place, then dad has every right to keep the child and refuse to allow mom to take the child anywhere at all, just as she would have.

It's impossible to tell you whether or not he has a decent shot at custody of the child just based on the information you've given us. Currently he has possession of the child - that's an enormous mark in his favor, but mom was (presumably since she's unemployed) the primary care taker which is huge in HER favor.

Mom needs an attorney.

[elaine60]

My friend lived 50 miles from where I live. She came here because she did not think she could take her daughter out of state to where her mom lives, plus she did not want to not allow him visitation.

I talked to my mom again and was giving her an update about the advise we had gotten and she asked about the 6 months residence thing. She said she filed for divorce and custody against my dad in the county next to where they live. She also said she has never lived in that county. She hired an attorney there because she did not want to deal with attorneys in the town she lived in. She asked if they have change the laws about where you can file.

When you mentioned about him getting things done in a day, mom said yes he could have filed for a emergency temporary custody order but she said if that was the case then he should not be so concerned about her visiting with their daughter because he would have the upper hand. Plus in order to make it have to be supervised he would have to give a reason why she should not be trusted with her own daughter considering she has always taken care of her needs.

The bad thing about it is he has spent so little time with the little girl she actually afraid of him or appears to be, its his mom and dad that are keeping her.

I think she should go where he lives and see who is watching their little girl while he and grandma and grandpa are at work. A babysitter can not stop her from checking to see if her child is ok. What do you think?

[BelizeBreeze]

Originally Posted by elaine60

I think she should go where he lives and see who is watching their little girl while he and grandma and grandpa are at work. A babysitter can not stop her from checking to see if her child is ok. What do you think?

I think a babysitter can call the police and have her arrested for trespassing, stalking and any number of other things.

[LdiJ]

Originally Posted by elaine60

My friend lived 50 miles from where I live. She came here because she did not think she could take her daughter out of state to where her mom lives, plus she did not want to not allow him visitation.

I talked to my mom again and was giving her an update about the advise we had gotten and she asked about the 6 months residence thing. She said she filed for divorce and custody against my dad in the county next to where they live. She also said she has never lived in that county. She hired an attorney there because she did not want to deal with attorneys in the town she lived in. She asked if they have change the laws about where you can file.

When you mentioned about him getting things done in a day, mom said yes he could have filed for a emergency temporary custody order but she said if that was the case then he should not be so concerned about her visiting with their daughter because he would have the upper hand. Plus in order to make it have to be supervised he would have to give a reason why she should not be trusted with her own daughter considering she has always taken care of her needs.

The bad thing about it is he has spent so little time with the little girl she actually afraid of him or appears to be, its his mom and dad that are keeping her.

I think she should go where he lives and see who is watching their little girl while he and grandma and grandpa are at work. A babysitter can not stop her from checking to see if her child is ok. What do you think?

Again, I think that your friend needs an attorney...NOW.