Can Step Dad get custody of my kids if i Die

[bobbiebeamer]

Another alternative, if stepdad is against adoption, would be to file a consent petit

Can anyone give me more information on this.

 

[casa]

Can anyone give me more information on this.

I'm not trying to be judgemental- but WHY, if step-dad is unwilling to adopt~ would you want him to be responsible to raise the children in your absence?? If he's worried about child support if you ever divorced- how would he handle completely supporting the children (if you were dead and bio Dad had no parental rights)?

This does not seem logical.

 

[bobbiebeamer]

He isn't against it

He isn't against adoption and he knows I would never take him for support. He makes plenty of money and he would still recieve my kids social security benefits. I was just curious what this alternative it. Not that he is against it.

 

[bobbiebeamer]

Bio dad is dead

Bio dad is already dead. That is why I am trying to make sure my kids stay with stepdad.

 

[bononos]

He isn't against adoption and he knows I would never take him for support. He makes plenty of money and he would still recieve my kids social security benefits. I was just curious what this alternative it. Not that he is against it.

Feelings, emotions, and promises change when divorcing.

 

[bobbiebeamer]

My feelings won't change

I would never ask for support nor would i be able to sleep at night if I did. Those children had nothing to do with hubby until bio dad was gone.
I have plenty of money to care for them myself and they recieve social security. My husband has already been burt in his first marriage he adopted one and as soon as it was final she kicked him out and said she waited so she could get support for her not just that the youngest isn't his either and he has provided for them. My kids love hubby and don't want to be with anyone else if I am not here.
So my feelings about support will never change. Hybby's feelings will never change about loving my kids as his own.

 

[casa]

Bio dad is already dead. That is why I am trying to make sure my kids stay with stepdad.

That's right, you stated that.

Here's the problem~ you are asking bc you must be concerned about who will end up with the children if something happened to you. If that concern covers your family or the deceased bio dad's family- then you need to eliminate the chance of step-dad fighting any one of them for custody in the event of your death.

 

[nextwife]

I don't want anything from him finacially if we get divorced but I know that is one of his fears. He has done this before and as soon as the adoption was legal after years she kicked him out and filed for divorce. So he know must pay for her.
Please advise

Yes, if he adopts and you divorce he is financially responsible for them. And there is no way to legally remove his financial resonsibilty if he adopts. I realize that you say you "don't want anything from him financially", but no lgeal agreement exists that can remove such a responsibilty.

 

[bobbiebeamer]

could bio dads parents fight for them

After he adopts them can they still try and fight for them? You had said I need to make sure that stepdad doesn't fight????

 

[424Smudge]

Wrong. If step-dad does adopt then he has all legal rights and responsibilities as if he were the biological father. And although the grandparents may have the right to "FILE" for visitation, it is not a right vested.

And that is what I said....

If they fight it if you die then yes they might have a chance of winning reguardless if their step-dad has adopted them. .

notice the word in bold?

 

[bobbiebeamer]

Why Why

I don't understand. Wouldn't they have to prove him unfit or something.
I guess I need to call an attorney and find out how to go about this.
This can't be the costly I wouldn't think. We should just have to sign some papers right?

 

[BelizeBreeze]

I don't understand. Wouldn't they have to prove him unfit or something.
I guess I need to call an attorney and find out how to go about this.
This can't be the costly I wouldn't think. We should just have to sign some papers right?

Listen, there has been enough crap posted on this issue. And you seem not to WANT to understand. So, if after this post you still argue, then go pay an attorney in your area about $500 to tell you the same things.

1. Your hubby has no legal rights to YOUR children unless he adopts. That means that if you die, are in a coma or otherwise disabled to the point that you cannot care for yourself and/or the children, HE HAS NO RIGHTS.

The state will either take custody or look for a relative to accept responsibility. In this case, unless there is another blood relative availabe immediately, the grandparents (both sets) will be in line to care for the child.

2. Your husband can adopt. That is not an easy process and is NOT just signing a form or two. By adopting you fufill the one restriction for grandparent visitation / custody, and that is a nuclear family with both partners living and able to make decisions for the child.

Since Troxel the courts and state legislatures have struggled with grandparent rights (or lack of them) but the one variable in the states which do have grandparent rights is the restriction that grandparents have no standing to challenge the constitutional right of parents to parent their children.

3. If adoption is not an option or time is not on your side, as I've said in this forum countless times, then appoint hubby as 'stand-by guardian' which will also require the court to approve. It's cheaper, less troublesome and faster. And such a stand-by guardian kicks in automatically in the case of your death, disability or other event which would limit your ability to care for the children.

Also, as the stand-by guardian, your husband would have all rights and responsibilities as the legal father, including, should you die, being first in line to adopt.

4. There is no reason to keep this thread open. You have three options. PERIOD. If you do not act and continue arguing and you die tomorrow in a car crash, your child will go to the nearest blood relative if they are agreeable. And your husband will have ABSOLUTELY NO RIGHTS.

 

[stealth2]

I don't understand. Wouldn't they have to prove him unfit or something.
I guess I need to call an attorney and find out how to go about this.
This can't be the costly I wouldn't think. We should just have to sign some papers right?

No, they would not have to prove him unfit. The long and the short of it is that he has no legal rights to the kids until and unless he adopts them. Period. End of story.

 

[bobbiebeamer]

I wasn't arguing

What Is The Point Of This Site If You Are Being An Iggnorant Individual Or Individuals.i Was Looking For Some Answers I Am Not A Pro Like You Must Be.if You Would Read What I Wrote Then Maybe You Would Of Understood What I Was Saying. But No Lets Just Jump The Gun And Give Me Crap.why Do You Both Read And Re Read What I Typed And Stop Trying To Hear Me. Did You Ever Look For Help On Here? No I Guess Not You Had All The Answers Right. Well I Normally Tell People To Go Pound Sand When They Act Like Morons But With That Said I Guess I Don't Have To Tell You What To Do.
Where In Any Of My Posts Did You People Read What If He Doesn't Adopt.wtf Is Wrong With People.wtf!!!!

 

[casa]

What Is The Point Of This Site If You Are Being An Iggnorant Individual Or Individuals.i Was Looking For Some Answers I Am Not A Pro Like You Must Be.if You Would Read What I Wrote Then Maybe You Would Of Understood What I Was Saying. But No Lets Just Jump The Gun And Give Me Crap.why Do You Both Read And Re Read What I Typed And Stop Trying To Hear Me. Did You Ever Look For Help On Here? No I Guess Not You Had All The Answers Right. Well I Normally Tell People To Go Pound Sand When They Act Like Morons But With That Said I Guess I Don't Have To Tell You What To Do.
Where In Any Of My Posts Did You People Read What If He Doesn't Adopt.wtf Is Wrong With People.wtf!!!!

hmmm...could it be the title of a post of yours on this thread "If stepdad is against adoption..."

or ... maybe it was when you asked in the first post "Does my husband have to adopt..." <bold/underline to emphasis your selection of wording>

or... maybe it was when you said you "...knew it is one of his fears" re; adopting children, then being responsible for their support.

WTF? How obvious can it be?