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  1. #1
    bobbiebeamer is offline Junior Member
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    Can Step Dad get custody of my kids if i Die

    What is the name of your state? pa
    My childrens father passed away in 2000. Since then I have remarried and I am trying to find out if I die can my husband get full custody of my children if I have it in my will? I am concerned that is may be contested by grandparents. Part 2 of my question. Does my husband have to adopt my kids to have any kind of rights to them. He is the only dad they have known seens how my kids were only 4 and 2 when their dad died. Please help
    I don't want to pay an attorney if I don't need to. My husband has 4 kids from a previous marriage which he adopted one and the youngest was the result of an affair and isn't his however he pays for all of them. If he adopts my kids does domestic relations look at that as a responsability that he must support as well. He has done this before and as soon as the adoption was legal after years she kicked him out and filed for divorce. So he know must pay for her.
    Please advise
    Last edited by bobbiebeamer; 11-10-2005 at 07:25 PM.
  2. #2
    casa is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by bobbiebeamer
    What is the name of your state? pa
    My childrens father passed away in 2000. Since then I have remarried and I am trying to find out if I die can my husband get full custody of my children if I have it in my will? I am concerned that is may be contested by grandparents. Part 2 of my question. Does my husband have to adopt my kids to have any kind of rights to them. He is the only dad they have known seens how my kids were only 4 and 2 when their dad died. Please help
    I don't want to pay an attorney if I don't need to. My husband has 4 kids from a previous marriage which he adopted one and the youngest was the result of an affair and isn't his however he pays for all of them. If he adopts my kids does domestic relations look at that as a responsability that he must support as well. I don't want anything from him finacially if we get divorced but I know that is one of his fears. He has done this before and as soon as the adoption was legal after years she kicked him out and filed for divorce. So he know must pay for her.
    Please advise
    Since their father is deceased, have stepfather legally adopt the children. Then he will be their legal father- and in the event of your death- would keep custody of them.

    As just the step-parent, he risks a custody battle if anyone in your family or bio father's family wanted the children.
  3. #3
    BelizeBreeze is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by bobbiebeamer
    What is the name of your state? pa
    My childrens father passed away in 2000. Since then I have remarried and I am trying to find out if I die can my husband get full custody of my children if I have it in my will?
    As answered in this forum at least 1200 times, no. You cannot will children as you would a piece of furniture.
    I am concerned that is may be contested by grandparents.
    Not only that but it can invalidate your will
    Part 2 of my question. Does my husband have to adopt my kids to have any kind of rights to them.
    Yep, he sure does.
    He is the only dad they have known seens how my kids were only 4 and 2 when their dad died. Please help
    Irrelevant
    I don't want to pay an attorney if I don't need to. My husband has 4 kids from a previous marriage which he adopted one and the youngest was the result of an affair and isn't his however he pays for all of them. If he adopts my kids does domestic relations look at that as a responsability that he must support as well. I don't want anything from him finacially if we get divorced but I know that is one of his fears. He has done this before and as soon as the adoption was legal after years she kicked him out and filed for divorce. So he know must pay for her.
    Please advise
    all of this is irrelevant. He either adopts or has no legal rights to the children if you croak.
  4. #4
    simpleguy05 is offline Member
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    As for you last question, if he legally adopts your children he's taken on the SAME responsibilities as a natural parent. So yes technically, I don't believe you would be able to excuse the child support issues in leiu of a divorce. That is, only if you were to persue it. However, I'm not entirely sure due to the fact that your children are probably receiving SS checks correct? I think those may cease in the event of an adoption though I'm not entirely sure. And I doubt they would start up again if you got a divorce. Maybe one of these ppl around here can better tell you that.
  5. #5
    westcoastdaddy Guest

    unless hubby adopts kids he will have no rights

    unfortunately, unless your husband adopts them, he will have no legal standing to do anything where your kids are concerned, he is a legal stranger with no rights.you can state your preferences in a will, but its not binding.
  6. #6
    bobbiebeamer is offline Junior Member
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    will the social security stop

    if step dad adopts them will i still recieve ss checks til they are 18?
  7. #7
    BelizeBreeze is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by bobbiebeamer
    if step dad adopts them will i still recieve ss checks til they are 18?
    IF a child who is receiving benefits is adopted, lyou will be required to inform the social security Administration of the new name, the date of the adoption decree, and the adopting parentís name and address. The adoption will not cause benefits to end.
  8. #8
    simpleguy05 is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by bobbiebeamer
    if step dad adopts them will i still recieve ss checks til they are 18?
    Thats what I was getting at. I believe the answer is no, since if they were adopted, they are technically not the children of a deased man in the eyes of the court any longer. For example: say you had a crappy father to your children who allowed you to have your new spouse adopt your children while he gave up all rights. Your new husband could not in effect "unadopt" your children even in the event of a divorce. Therefor, transfering all legal responsibilities to the adoptive parent, ei child support, visitation...Which means, the biological dad wouldn't have to pay child support or have any legal standing even if you and your new spouse got a divorce. Hope that makes sense to you. However, like I said if anyone knows otherwise please jump in.
  9. #9
    simpleguy05 is offline Member
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    Nevermind, Belize jumped on that one. It couldn't hurt for you to ask the SS office these same hypothetical questions.
  10. #10
    BelizeBreeze is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by simpleguy05
    Nevermind, Belize jumped on that one. It couldn't hurt for you to ask the SS office these same hypothetical questions.
    That answer came from the office of legal affairs, Social Security Administration
  11. #11
    Mbarr is offline Member
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    Another alternative, if stepdad is against adoption, would be to file a consent petition for stepdad to be joint custodian with mom.
  12. #12
    424Smudge is offline Member
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    My question... what is so bad about the grandparents wanting some type of custody? If they fight it if you die then yes they might have a chance of winning reguardless if their step-dad has adopted them. Also I know my husbands parenting plan says that at no point and time can a step parent adopt the children so if yours said something like that then it is unlikely that your new hubbie will be able to adopt them. Also, if he does adopt them then I suggest the children still retain their biological dads name.
  13. #13
    BelizeBreeze is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by 424Smudge
    My question... what is so bad about the grandparents wanting some type of custody? If they fight it if you die then yes they might have a chance of winning reguardless if their step-dad has adopted them. Also I know my husbands parenting plan says that at no point and time can a step parent adopt the children so if yours said something like that then it is unlikely that your new hubbie will be able to adopt them. Also, if he does adopt them then I suggest the children still retain their biological dads name.
    Wrong. If step-dad does adopt then he has all legal rights and responsibilities as if he were the biological father. And although the grandparents may have the right to "FILE" for visitation, it is not a right vested.
  14. #14
    LdiJ is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by simpleguy05
    As for you last question, if he legally adopts your children he's taken on the SAME responsibilities as a natural parent. So yes technically, I don't believe you would be able to excuse the child support issues in leiu of a divorce. That is, only if you were to persue it. However, I'm not entirely sure due to the fact that your children are probably receiving SS checks correct? I think those may cease in the event of an adoption though I'm not entirely sure. And I doubt they would start up again if you got a divorce. Maybe one of these ppl around here can better tell you that.
    No, they don't cease in the case of an adoption. That is something I researched thoroughly for a friend.
  15. #15
    bobbiebeamer is offline Junior Member
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    Change of name after adoption

    PA
    My husband and I talked more about this last night. We would like my kids to repain thier given name they are the last of my late husbands family to carry on the name. Thank you all for your advice.
    In a reply to why would it be so bad for grandparents to get custody. The reason being my oldest son was molested in thier care and didn't do anything about it. I have never gotten past that. They have a relationship with them but I am very conservative on the time I allow them to be with them. They are allowed to be outside all day if they want with no supervision at thier home. They allow them to cross the street, ride on the back of a harley and swim alone becuase they can touch the bottom of the pool all of this against my wishes. I have since only let them go for a few hours every 2 weeks. My kids are only 9 and 7 they need to be watched.

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