can visitation be enforced for almost non existant, non-custodial parent?

[peechez]

NJ - my ex husband has visitation e/o sat to sun and knows that I would not deny any additional time spent. however, he has consistently failed to see the children on a regular basis. he will go a month at a time without. this of course means that not only do i have to pick up the pieces with the angry upset children but i have to defend and explain these negatives to my children so they do not feel that they have done anything wrong. is there anything that can be done to enforce his visitation? i have even considered the opposite extreme of taking away any parental rights that he has (i have full custody btw) but am not sure what is best interest of children. i know that according to childs bill of rights that they are entitled to a healthy relationship with both parents. not only is their relationship with him almost non existant, when it does occur they are often subjected to emotional neglect (dad and step mom go out and leave kids with babysitter, dad ignores, yells at, belittles) etc. thanks for any advice you can give

 

[Grandma B]

There's no way you can "enforce" visitation. If he chooses not to exercise all his visitation time, the most you can do is ask the court to decrease it. Seems to me that it wouldn't be worth the time or expense to do that since he's not seeing them much anyway.

The best course of action is probably to continue dealing with the children in an upbeat manner. When he disappoints them, try to do something fun during the time he would have had them so they aren't sitting around brooding about his being a no-show.

Enjoy them, and do all you can to foster their relationship with their dad. It'll be hard on you, but it's the best thing for the kids. You can't take his rights away simply because he isn't using all his visitation, but if you ever feel that he is causing harm to the children, by all means take him to court. Best of luck to you, and hang in there. This will all be over sooner than you think.