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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
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    Can we write our own agreement?

    What is the name of your state?NY

    Hi again, another question to you geniuses My spouse and I have agreed to do a custody arrangement so I can move home (sooo happy to finially be outta here and back to some support) we have agreed on our own terms instead of going to court. My question is can we write and sign our own agreement then if one don't stick to it go to court and since it would say I'm allowed to move out of state ~ I will be safe from kidnapping laws, etc... Also, what we have agreed to is I keep her 6 wks and then he keeps her 4 wks and we share transportation, is it normal to put that he comes pick her up and I will bring her home, deal is I think many times he will not be able to take her only b/c he will not have sitters for work, etc.( heavens knows no one will watch her here now for us) and I would also like to say that he has to tell me and show me who will be taking care of her during the day. Some of his friends have less than desired attributes and I prefer her not be with them. We just are so broke, we can't afford the 3,500 for a custody case and to have a lawyer write this up and file would be at least 1,000 we were told, we just can't afford that now. Thanks in advance.
  2. #2
    howamidoing is offline Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
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    Quote Originally Posted by momof2boys1girl
    What is the name of your state?NY

    Hi again, another question to you geniuses My spouse and I have agreed to do a custody arrangement so I can move home (sooo happy to finially be outta here and back to some support) we have agreed on our own terms instead of going to court. My question is can we write and sign our own agreement then if one don't stick to it go to court and since it would say I'm allowed to move out of state ~ I will be safe from kidnapping laws, etc... Also, what we have agreed to is I keep her 6 wks and then he keeps her 4 wks and we share transportation, is it normal to put that he comes pick her up and I will bring her home, deal is I think many times he will not be able to take her only b/c he will not have sitters for work, etc.( heavens knows no one will watch her here now for us) and I would also like to say that he has to tell me and show me who will be taking care of her during the day. Some of his friends have less than desired attributes and I prefer her not be with them. We just are so broke, we can't afford the 3,500 for a custody case and to have a lawyer write this up and file would be at least 1,000 we were told, we just can't afford that now. Thanks in advance.
    Your spouse? Are you getting a divorce? Whatever agreement you come to will have to be signed by a Judge to be legally inforceable.There are a lot of sites to get templates for a parenting plan. Just google it.Yes it is a good idea to discuss transportation etc. No stone left unturned. Good luck.
  3. #3
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Posts
    45
    Well we aren't divorced yet, want to yes, but that is an additional 3-500 bucks, which we do not have. So, my basic question is if we write this up ourselves, then I move and he goes to family court and tells them I left w/out permission can I get in touble?
  4. #4
    stealth2 is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2002
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    44,465
    Without it being filed in court, it's not worth the paper it's written on.
  5. #5
    kat1963 is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2001
    Location
    Virginia
    Posts
    1,939
    Here are some different parenting plans (as an example) that of course can be modified. As Stealth already stated the paperwork isn't going to mean diddly until they are filed with the court AND signed by the judge.
    [url]http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/pplan3.htm[/url]
    [url]http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/pplan8.htm[/url]
    Good luck....
    KAT
  6. #6
    LdiJ is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2004
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    65,877
    Quote Originally Posted by momof2boys1girl
    Well we aren't divorced yet, want to yes, but that is an additional 3-500 bucks, which we do not have. So, my basic question is if we write this up ourselves, then I move and he goes to family court and tells them I left w/out permission can I get in touble?
    The agreement that you write up would not be enforceable in any way, without a judge's signature. It certainly would be good enough to serve as written permission for you moving out of the area and taking your child with you, but it would not hold up regarding visitation/custody.

    You can get forms at your local courthouse and submit your agreement to the court yourself. There will be a filing fee, but it won't cost as much that way.

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