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  1. #1
    AngelxWings10 is offline Junior Member
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    Dec 2010
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    Canceling Visits

    What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Pennsylvania

    My name is Lauren. I am a single mom off a beautiful ten month old son. His father and I aren't together. He has court ordered surprivised visits. They were every Tues and Sun for two hours. On Tues, it was 4.30-6.30. On Suns, it was 1-3. Well, he canceled Tues completely due to 'work'. He now only comes Sundays. Well, sometimes. If it's raining, he won't come. He cancels or is late all the time.

    Is it possible to go back to court and cancel visits completely? I know my son needs to see his father. But his father doesn't talk to him or play with him the whole two hours he is over. Our son doesn't know who he is. He will play contently until his father touches him or tries to pick him up. Then he shrieks and cries. His father is constantly cursing me out through texts and phone calls. He hates it when I try to help him figure out what to do. He even threats to take me back to court when I don't give to his demands.

    I have sole physical and legal custody of our son. His father only has visits. I just want to put a stop to them. He doesn't show up half the time. we have it all written down on our calender. I just am so lost in what to do
  2. #2
    MichaCA is offline Senior Member
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    The court will not look favorably on you trying to end all contact with son and dad. Dad is showing up for the Sunday visits. If you feel the need to modify the supervised visits to reduce upset on child (dad not showing for the Tuesday visits) do keep the Sunday visits.

    Who is supervising the visits? An agency or you? How long were the supervised visits to last? Why are there supervised visits?
  3. #3
    AngelxWings10 is offline Junior Member
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    My mother and I surprivise the visits at our house to make things more comfortable for my son.

    Visits are surprivised because his father is unstable, a recovering drug addict and recovering drunk. He is violent and angry. He has nothing nice to say to anyone. He claims to work all the time. Yet won't pay child support.
  4. #4
    stealth2 is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by AngelxWings10 View Post
    Yet won't pay child support.
    Is he ordered by the court to pay CS?
  5. #5
    AngelxWings10 is offline Junior Member
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    Yes. He is. He hasn't paid in two months. Last time it was six months. So, I gotta wait six more months before he will.
  6. #6
    Halls is offline Member
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    Maybe your sons father would do better if it wasn't you and your mother supervising visits. If there was someone else unbiased and responsible ibet your sons father would be more hands on and spend the time he has with his child productively.

    If you and your mother are sitting there telling him what to do with the baby, etc. it isn't going to go over well. And it could easily explain why he isn't very hands on with the child. You should want to help your sons father and makes things better to encourage the relationship between father and baby. Trying to stop visits is not going to do that and I doubt likely a judge will stop visits.

    I speak from experience on this. I was once a single mother of an infant and supervised my sons fathers visits.
  7. #7
    mistoffolees is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Halls View Post
    Maybe your sons father would do better if it wasn't you and your mother supervising visits. If there was someone else unbiased and responsible ibet your sons father would be more hands on and spend the time he has with his child productively.

    If you and your mother are sitting there telling him what to do with the baby, etc. it isn't going to go over well. And it could easily explain why he isn't very hands on with the child. You should want to help your sons father and makes things better to encourage the relationship between father and baby. Trying to stop visits is not going to do that and I doubt likely a judge will stop visits.

    I speak from experience on this. I was once a single mother of an infant and supervised my sons fathers visits.
    I agree with that.

    However, to OP:

    You have no grounds for canceling his visitation simply because he doesn't use all of it. Visitation gives him the right to see the child, but not the obligation. You can't penalize him or ask the court to penalize him for not seeing the child as much as he's allowed to.

    If he continues on his current schedule (or even reduces it further), there's no harm done by sticking to the current schedule. You get the same thing as you want - simply by Dad not showing up - without the expense and hassle of changing the orders (if the court would even let you - which is doubtful).

    OTOH, Dad might change and decide to spend all of his visitation with the child and actually establish a relationship. There is mountains of evidence that says that it's best for a child if both parents are involved in their life. If Dad does change and you've cut back on visitation (again, even if the court would allow it), then you would be responsible for keeping Dad out of the child's life - which would simply be bad for the child.

    Let it go.

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