What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Virginia
Quick back story:
Been divorced since December 2011
I have primary physical custody of our two children (10 & 8) and he gets EOW visitation but we have joint legal custody.
Per our court order he can get them a full month in the summer but doesn't exercise that right
Question:
I have a feeling my ex husband is trying to "build a case" as they say for getting custody. Many things in his behavior suggest this but specifically he has told me several times recently he wants the kids to live full time with him and his new wife and he has asked our kids several times if they want to live with him instead. They both told me and my parents when they visited the same thing.
Our 10 year old is diagnosed with high functioning autism and ADHD. He had developmental delays since birth and is on an IEP at school. He is on medication and was in counseling but graduated from it but due to new behaviors he will be starting again. Our 8 year old daughter is overall "typical" was was recently diagnosed with OCD which has impacted home, friends and school. She is now on medication and in counseling. About a month ago, I found out my son was sexually abused by another child his age at a summer camp at my business (that I have since closed due to finances). When I found out, I immediately kicked the other child out of our program. Notified his father. Called CPS which they declined to do anything. I made a report to police and a SVU case was opened. He had a forensic interview in which the Commonwealth declined to prosecute because our son shut down and wouldn't tell them what happened. He will be starting counseling very soon. Our son also just this past week purposely cut himself on his hand to see what it felt like and because he saw it in an episode of stranger things. Given he is 10 me and my current husband felt he was old enough to watch stranger things. Now that we realize he doesn't have a firm grasp on reality vs fantasy we will be further restricting what he can watch.
My ex husband blames me for what happened both abuse and cutting. It happened once and as soon as I knew I took immediate action. He thinks his house and that environment would take away our children's issues ie Autism and ocd. He is very skeptical of mental health and medication. In the 5 years since our divorce he has taken our daughter (2 weeks ago) to one psychiatry appointment and has never taken our son to any of his appointments nor been involved in their treatment. He has taken them to one physical appointment with their pediatrician their whole lives. Two summers ago is the first time he exercised his right to an extended visit which he took them for 2 weeks. This summer he only kept them 4 days when he got married. He refused to keep them for an extended visit unless I paid for childcare. He relies on me to know how the kids are doing in school. I pass on important information but otherwise I tell him he needs to be involved and talk to their teachers. We live in the same town. He is about a 15 minute drive away.
He does see our kids consistently EOW and takes them to karate twice a week. Anytime he asks for extra time during my time I say yes unless we have something planned.
He tried or at least filled for custody back in 2012 shortly after his second marriage. Claiming he was the better parent in his filing. But he dropped it before we ever had our court date after him and his wife split. He is active military (full time reserves). The kids stay with me when he goes away for months at a time and during those times he contacts his fiance (now wife) but never calls our children.
I normally do not let what he says bother me. But given the stress of everything and our children's special needs and that stress, I am starting to doubt myself. Based on all this, what are the chances he would win primary physical custody if he files?
Quick back story:
Been divorced since December 2011
I have primary physical custody of our two children (10 & 8) and he gets EOW visitation but we have joint legal custody.
Per our court order he can get them a full month in the summer but doesn't exercise that right
Question:
I have a feeling my ex husband is trying to "build a case" as they say for getting custody. Many things in his behavior suggest this but specifically he has told me several times recently he wants the kids to live full time with him and his new wife and he has asked our kids several times if they want to live with him instead. They both told me and my parents when they visited the same thing.
Our 10 year old is diagnosed with high functioning autism and ADHD. He had developmental delays since birth and is on an IEP at school. He is on medication and was in counseling but graduated from it but due to new behaviors he will be starting again. Our 8 year old daughter is overall "typical" was was recently diagnosed with OCD which has impacted home, friends and school. She is now on medication and in counseling. About a month ago, I found out my son was sexually abused by another child his age at a summer camp at my business (that I have since closed due to finances). When I found out, I immediately kicked the other child out of our program. Notified his father. Called CPS which they declined to do anything. I made a report to police and a SVU case was opened. He had a forensic interview in which the Commonwealth declined to prosecute because our son shut down and wouldn't tell them what happened. He will be starting counseling very soon. Our son also just this past week purposely cut himself on his hand to see what it felt like and because he saw it in an episode of stranger things. Given he is 10 me and my current husband felt he was old enough to watch stranger things. Now that we realize he doesn't have a firm grasp on reality vs fantasy we will be further restricting what he can watch.
My ex husband blames me for what happened both abuse and cutting. It happened once and as soon as I knew I took immediate action. He thinks his house and that environment would take away our children's issues ie Autism and ocd. He is very skeptical of mental health and medication. In the 5 years since our divorce he has taken our daughter (2 weeks ago) to one psychiatry appointment and has never taken our son to any of his appointments nor been involved in their treatment. He has taken them to one physical appointment with their pediatrician their whole lives. Two summers ago is the first time he exercised his right to an extended visit which he took them for 2 weeks. This summer he only kept them 4 days when he got married. He refused to keep them for an extended visit unless I paid for childcare. He relies on me to know how the kids are doing in school. I pass on important information but otherwise I tell him he needs to be involved and talk to their teachers. We live in the same town. He is about a 15 minute drive away.
He does see our kids consistently EOW and takes them to karate twice a week. Anytime he asks for extra time during my time I say yes unless we have something planned.
He tried or at least filled for custody back in 2012 shortly after his second marriage. Claiming he was the better parent in his filing. But he dropped it before we ever had our court date after him and his wife split. He is active military (full time reserves). The kids stay with me when he goes away for months at a time and during those times he contacts his fiance (now wife) but never calls our children.
I normally do not let what he says bother me. But given the stress of everything and our children's special needs and that stress, I am starting to doubt myself. Based on all this, what are the chances he would win primary physical custody if he files?
