Changing holidays

[OHRoadwarrior]

The quality time of holidays, where the parent and likely family take an active interest in interaction and bonding through celebration.

What does the child gain by Mom "standing her ground" and refusing to negotiate with Dad?

 

[LdiJ]

The quality time of holidays, where the parent and likely family take an active interest in interaction and bonding through celebration.

Absolutely...that is it in a nutshell. If the child is going to actually get that with dad, then that is one thing. If its just going to be extra time with dad, without that, then dad can have that in an infinite number of different ways, without actually getting holidays.

And, I will repeat, we do not know that the original orders did not give dad some concessions for giving up holidays.

 

[CJane]

What does the child gain by Mom "standing her ground" and refusing to negotiate with Dad?

Continuation of the status quo that Dad AGREED was in the best interests of the child.

My girls have never spent a single Christmas with their Father's family. We've been divorced for 11 years, one of the girls just aged out, and the other is almost 15. Christmas is my holiday. The one time he tried to make Christmas alternate, when we were in for modifications, the judge called him everything but crazy for suggesting that it would be "best" to disrupt the children's traditions for no good reason. *shrug* Might not happen here, but I think the chances are good that it would.

 

[Just Blue]

If they actually agreed, then I would agree with you. However, they do not. Now, if dad's new wife is not a JW and they truly want to CELEBRATE holidays they maybe mom should consider that. However if dad's new wife is JW then they don't want holidays in order to celebrate them. They want holidays in order to reduce the number of holidays that the child celebrates.

So? There are different ways to spend a day...even one that is a Holiday. Mom has her way and Dad will have his. It's called "to each his own".

 

[Just Blue]

Except Dad didn't *want those holidays/days with the child. In the original decree, he GAVE MOM the holidays. But, it's selfish of HER to want to maintain status quo, or not give him days he didn't want???

Child is 4. S/he will adjust.

 

[LdiJ]

Child is 4. S/he will adjust.

You are just going to have to accept that several of us disagree on that issue. There is no need for the child to "adjust" as far as I am concerned, unless dad is actually going to celebrate holidays.

 

[Just Blue]

If anyone is interested, the cached page of the other thread is easily found on google.



Singledad, very well said.

I was unable to find the cached page...Could you pm me or post it here?? Thanks
Blue

 

[Just Blue]

You are just going to have to accept that several of us disagree on that issue. There is no need for the child to "adjust" as far as I am concerned, unless dad is actually going to celebrate holidays.

I do accept that several of us disagree.

And 4 year olds adjust to much bigger issues than where to spend a Holiday.

They go from spending all their time at home to going to school. (should child be kept home to avoid "adjusting"?)

 

[CJane]

If this were an initial determination, I would feel differently. But Dad wants to change the order to accommodate a change in HIS life. He wants to change the order in response to his BedWarmer's desire to celebrate holidays with his child.

Where's his change in circumstances? Where's his showing of best interests? Why do y'all believe the CHILD should have to "adjust" because DAD has a new woman in his life who doesn't hate holidays?

 

[Silverplum]

If this were an initial determination, I would feel differently. But Dad wants to change the order to accommodate a change in HIS life. He wants to change the order in response to his BedWarmer's desire to celebrate holidays with his child.

Where's his change in circumstances? Where's his showing of best interests? Why do y'all believe the CHILD should have to "adjust" because DAD has a new woman in his life who doesn't hate holidays?

That's going way too far on the insults.

You're a 2nd wife...is that what you call yourself? I certainly don't.

 

[Just Blue]

If this were an initial determination, I would feel differently. But Dad wants to change the order to accommodate a change in HIS life. He wants to change the order in response to his BedWarmer's desire to celebrate holidays with his child.

Where's his change in circumstances? Where's his showing of best interests? Why do y'all believe the CHILD should have to "adjust" because DAD has a new woman in his life who doesn't hate holidays?

Dad now wants to see his child on a Holiday. Not a biggy. It is in the interest of the child to spend time with both parents on any given day of the week or "holiday calendar".

And CJ? Look at the changes you have made in your childrens lives due to the "new man".

 

[single317dad]

If this were an initial determination, I would feel differently. But Dad wants to change the order to accommodate a change in HIS life. He wants to change the order in response to his BedWarmer's desire to celebrate holidays with his child.

Where's his change in circumstances? Where's his showing of best interests? Why do y'all believe the CHILD should have to "adjust" because DAD has a new woman in his life who doesn't hate holidays?

I never said Dad had a strong case here; in fact, I said the opposite.

What I did say that's been so disagreeable is that based on the language and tone that I believe was intended in Mom's post, she's refusing to cooperate with Dad for selfish reasons, not based on the child's best interests.

 

[CJane]

That's going way too far on the insults.

You're a 2nd wife...is that what you call yourself? I certainly don't.

Nope, I have an electric bedwarmer.

But you missed the point.

 

[Proserpina]

Dad now wants to see his child on a Holiday. Not a biggy. It is in the interest of the child to spend time with both parents on any given day of the week or "holiday calendar".

And CJ? Look at the changes you have made in your childrens lives due to the "new man".

I would hope everyone here can see the vast differences between a 4 year old, and two older teens.

Now why exactly has CJane's situation even been mentioned? It's a little disingenuous, no? Gotta love those parentheses, too. I look forward to seeing them used more, and with consistency, when describing a poster's significant other. Or husband. Or wife.

 

[Proserpina]

That's going way too far on the insults.

You're a 2nd wife...is that what you call yourself? I certainly don't.

That's the funniest thing I've read in ages!