Changing holidays

[I'mTheFather]

But Dad should have asked for that time in the beginning, not given it up voluntarily and then decided he needed something different to accommodate the changes in HIS life.

I don't disagree. I thought my posts were clear. Perhaps not.

That's my issue. Not even that they're holidays, but that he seems to believe that his marriage is a good reason to change things up. And that doesn't show a lot of thought about the child, but rather about him and his wife.

You're making a pretty big assumption that his wife is the reason. It's entirely possible that he's actually had a change of faith and his wife has nothing to do with his request for holidays.

Wow. Y'all are a little dim today, aren't you?

I used the term BedWarmer on purpose. To illustrate EXACTLY what people would be saying to HER if she were here posting about her husband wanting to have his child on the holidays now that they were married and kiddo had a new family.

Well, your intention was pretty obscure.

Because that's what Dad is doing. He's gotten married and all of a sudden wants days that he happily gave up before.

And some of y'all are so invested in assuming that Moms all suffer from GUS (Golden Uterus Syndrome) that you refuse to see that perhaps Dad is being a tad unreasonable, and is being pushed by his new wife.

Again, assumptions. As for being unreasonable, the OP said he "asked" about switching. When he begins to demand it, then I'll agree he's unreasonable.

Of course, they could be REALLY grown up about it, and share holidays. As in, Dad and his wife could spend time at Mom's house on holidays. That's what my family did throughout my childhood, and since SoldierBoy and I have been together, I've spent a portion of every holiday with his ex and her wife, and often his former Mother In Law as well.

There is no one solution to a problem that works for everyone.

 

[single317dad]

Wow. Y'all are a little dim today, aren't you?

I used the term BedWarmer on purpose. To illustrate EXACTLY what people would be saying to HER if she were here posting about her husband wanting to have his child on the holidays now that they were married and kiddo had a new family.

No, that in fact is not how I would have referred to the new wife. What I would have done is either ignored her post entirely (which I usually do) or offered some basic guidance and a suggestion that she refer her husband to some resources to assist him. A second spouse taken well after a finalized divorce is not a bedwarmer, not to mention the fact that I generally do not refer to those who visit us to post their questions with some derogatory term. Heck, I even made it through the whole debacle with Mr. "I'm not a pedophile" without slamming him too hard.

While Mom may have the legal high ground, I think she's got the wrong attitude. That sums up my entire opinion on the matter, and concludes my contribution here.