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child abandonment??

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kblocker05

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Michigan

My ex-husband has vistiation rights to our almost 3 year old son but he doesn't use them even though he only lives 20 minutes away. He also hasnt called to ask about him in almost 2 months and hasn't come to see him in almost 4 months. Can I claim child abandonment against him? How long does he have to go without seeing or calling before I can?
 
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TinkerBelleLuvr

Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Michigan

My ex-husband has vistiation rights to our almost 3 year old son but he doesn't use them even though he only lives 20 minutes away. He also hasnt called to ask about him in almost 2 months and hasn't come to see him in almost months. Can I claim child abandonment against him? How long does he have to go without seeing or calling before I can?
Why are you wanting to claim "abandonment".
 

kblocker05

Junior Member
I want to claim abandonment because in the 2 years that we have been seperated he has seen him only a handful of times even though he lives 15-20 minutes away, he hasn't paid child support unless it has been taken from him by the state, and he hasn't even called to check on him in almost 2 months now, but he has gone several months without calling in the past. He will not take responsibility for his child and he now has a new wife and 3 kids, only one of which is his.
 

sometwo

Senior Member
he hasn't paid child support unless it has been taken from him by the state
So did you get it set up by the state? Sounds like it so he is obviously paying some support.



2 months is not a huge deal.

Sounds to me like you don't have grounds for abandonment.
 

gr8rn

Senior Member
It doesn't matter how you feel about your ex, it is how your child feels about the father. At three your child already has bonded with your ex even if it has been inconsistant, your child loves that person you hate. And you should be encouraging that relationship even though you don't like it. You should do it because it is the right thing to do. When dad comes you need to be encouraging the relationship even if it kills you. Believe me, I know where you are coming from. Hate to say it but my son loves his father even if in my opinion the father does not deserve such a wonderful child. But when Mr. Wonderful calls to say he will be seeing Son, I encourage it, because it is good for my son.

Oh, and the time frames you give are not enough to claim abandonment. Poor parenting yes, abandonment no.
 
It doesn't matter how you feel about your ex, it is how your child feels about the father. At three your child already has bonded with your ex even if it has been inconsistant, your child loves that person you hate. And you should be encouraging that relationship even though you don't like it. You should do it because it is the right thing to do. When dad comes you need to be encouraging the relationship even if it kills you. Believe me, I know where you are coming from. Hate to say it but my son loves his father even if in my opinion the father does not deserve such a wonderful child. But when Mr. Wonderful calls to say he will be seeing Son, I encourage it, because it is good for my son.

Oh, and the time frames you give are not enough to claim abandonment. Poor parenting yes, abandonment no.
so basically it's her fault that dad has minimum contact with child. why is it that the cp always have to HATE the ncp everytime the ncp decide to "Act up"...she shouldn't have to chase the DAD down to have contact with child. and how does a three year old have a strong bond with a man that has minimum contact with them? It's always the cp's fault as to why DADS do what they do:rolleyes:
 

ecmst12

Senior Member
It's no one's fault. But just because dad has not had much contact with child LATELY does not mean mom gets to prevent him from ever having contact with child again.
 

gr8rn

Senior Member
I never said she was at fault. In fact, I think I adequately empathized with her. I am just saying he is not close to abandoning the child. If he should contact her now, she would have to start the clock over again. Or she could decide to be a bigger person and be graceful about it. Pack the diaper bag and describe the new milestones child has met so that dad feels good about coming again. I hate my ex with a passion but dang it son loves him so I go along for son's sake and do my best to coparent with him (as much as I can given what I have to work with):cool:
 

kblocker05

Junior Member
Its not just lately that he hasnt seen him or called it has been ongoing for 2 years he has gone periods of six months without showing up when he is supposed to. I have gone way out of my way many times to make it as easy as possible for him to see him but he never takes the opportunity. And my son has no bond with him. The last time he showed up to visit him(in August) my son said, "he not daddy momma he Josh!" and no I had no influence on that he just came out and said it. To him my boyfriend of the past 2 years is his daddy. He has been there since he was 5 months and is the only father he really knows. Yes his wages are garnished by the state, but he also does side jobs and has left the state to work and refused to pay any support out of those earnings or even report them to the court at all. Even if I can't claim abandonment I would still like to have his rights taken away, so I can make choices for my son without having to contact my ex since he has no idea what is in his best interest. Bottom line he and his new wife and family have their own life and clearly dont care to make my son any part of it.
 

kblocker05

Junior Member
So did you get it set up by the state? Sounds like it so he is obviously paying some support.



2 months is not a huge deal.

Sounds to me like you don't have grounds for abandonment.

2 months is a huge deal without calling considering he has both of my numbers lives 15 minutes away and is barely working. It has been since the end of August since he has seen him. He has only called twice since August.
 

TheGeekess

Keeper of the Kraken
Here's the deal. You can file to have sole legal and physical custody, but at any point in the future, Dad can still come back and file to receive visitation. As far as Junior calling your boyfriend "Dad".... That is so wrong on so many levels. He has a Dad and your boyfriend isn't it. Judges don't like those kinds of games.
 

Proserpina

Senior Member
who said anything about preventing the dad from seeing the child.
If you're trying to claim the other parent has abandoned your child, it generally equates to "terminate other parent's rights, please".

Ergo "preventing that parent from seeing the child".

Next question?
 
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