Closed Thread
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 15 of 19
  1. #1
    kblocker05 is offline Junior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Posts
    4

    child abandonment??

    What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Michigan

    My ex-husband has vistiation rights to our almost 3 year old son but he doesn't use them even though he only lives 20 minutes away. He also hasnt called to ask about him in almost 2 months and hasn't come to see him in almost 4 months. Can I claim child abandonment against him? How long does he have to go without seeing or calling before I can?
    Last edited by kblocker05; 12-27-2009 at 08:18 PM. Reason: forgot a number
  2. #2
    TinkerBelleLuvr is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    With Capt'n Hook
    Posts
    11,279
    Quote Originally Posted by kblocker05 View Post
    What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Michigan

    My ex-husband has vistiation rights to our almost 3 year old son but he doesn't use them even though he only lives 20 minutes away. He also hasnt called to ask about him in almost 2 months and hasn't come to see him in almost months. Can I claim child abandonment against him? How long does he have to go without seeing or calling before I can?
    Why are you wanting to claim "abandonment".
  3. #3
    kblocker05 is offline Junior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Posts
    4
    I want to claim abandonment because in the 2 years that we have been seperated he has seen him only a handful of times even though he lives 15-20 minutes away, he hasn't paid child support unless it has been taken from him by the state, and he hasn't even called to check on him in almost 2 months now, but he has gone several months without calling in the past. He will not take responsibility for his child and he now has a new wife and 3 kids, only one of which is his.
  4. #4
    sometwo is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Posts
    1,323
    he hasn't paid child support unless it has been taken from him by the state
    So did you get it set up by the state? Sounds like it so he is obviously paying some support.



    2 months is not a huge deal.

    Sounds to me like you don't have grounds for abandonment.
  5. #5
    gr8rn is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Posts
    1,372
    It doesn't matter how you feel about your ex, it is how your child feels about the father. At three your child already has bonded with your ex even if it has been inconsistant, your child loves that person you hate. And you should be encouraging that relationship even though you don't like it. You should do it because it is the right thing to do. When dad comes you need to be encouraging the relationship even if it kills you. Believe me, I know where you are coming from. Hate to say it but my son loves his father even if in my opinion the father does not deserve such a wonderful child. But when Mr. Wonderful calls to say he will be seeing Son, I encourage it, because it is good for my son.

    Oh, and the time frames you give are not enough to claim abandonment. Poor parenting yes, abandonment no.
  6. #6
    alonzobaby32 is offline Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Posts
    104
    Quote Originally Posted by gr8rn View Post
    It doesn't matter how you feel about your ex, it is how your child feels about the father. At three your child already has bonded with your ex even if it has been inconsistant, your child loves that person you hate. And you should be encouraging that relationship even though you don't like it. You should do it because it is the right thing to do. When dad comes you need to be encouraging the relationship even if it kills you. Believe me, I know where you are coming from. Hate to say it but my son loves his father even if in my opinion the father does not deserve such a wonderful child. But when Mr. Wonderful calls to say he will be seeing Son, I encourage it, because it is good for my son.

    Oh, and the time frames you give are not enough to claim abandonment. Poor parenting yes, abandonment no.
    so basically it's her fault that dad has minimum contact with child. why is it that the cp always have to HATE the ncp everytime the ncp decide to "Act up"...she shouldn't have to chase the DAD down to have contact with child. and how does a three year old have a strong bond with a man that has minimum contact with them? It's always the cp's fault as to why DADS do what they do
  7. #7
    ecmst12 is online now Senior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    Philadelphia, PA
    Posts
    35,283
    It's no one's fault. But just because dad has not had much contact with child LATELY does not mean mom gets to prevent him from ever having contact with child again.
  8. #8
    gr8rn is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Posts
    1,372
    I never said she was at fault. In fact, I think I adequately empathized with her. I am just saying he is not close to abandoning the child. If he should contact her now, she would have to start the clock over again. Or she could decide to be a bigger person and be graceful about it. Pack the diaper bag and describe the new milestones child has met so that dad feels good about coming again. I hate my ex with a passion but dang it son loves him so I go along for son's sake and do my best to coparent with him (as much as I can given what I have to work with)
  9. #9
    alonzobaby32 is offline Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Posts
    104
    Quote Originally Posted by ecmst12 View Post
    It's no one's fault. But just because dad has not had much contact with child LATELY does not mean mom gets to prevent him from ever having contact with child again.
    who said anything about preventing the dad from seeing the child.
  10. #10
    cyjeff is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Posts
    8,560
    The payment of child support, even through garnishment, eliminates the possibility of abandonment.
  11. #11
    ecmst12 is online now Senior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    Philadelphia, PA
    Posts
    35,283
    Who said anything about it being CP's fault that dad hasn't been talking to the child?
  12. #12
    kblocker05 is offline Junior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Posts
    4
    Its not just lately that he hasnt seen him or called it has been ongoing for 2 years he has gone periods of six months without showing up when he is supposed to. I have gone way out of my way many times to make it as easy as possible for him to see him but he never takes the opportunity. And my son has no bond with him. The last time he showed up to visit him(in August) my son said, "he not daddy momma he Josh!" and no I had no influence on that he just came out and said it. To him my boyfriend of the past 2 years is his daddy. He has been there since he was 5 months and is the only father he really knows. Yes his wages are garnished by the state, but he also does side jobs and has left the state to work and refused to pay any support out of those earnings or even report them to the court at all. Even if I can't claim abandonment I would still like to have his rights taken away, so I can make choices for my son without having to contact my ex since he has no idea what is in his best interest. Bottom line he and his new wife and family have their own life and clearly dont care to make my son any part of it.
  13. #13
    kblocker05 is offline Junior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Posts
    4
    Quote Originally Posted by sometwo View Post
    So did you get it set up by the state? Sounds like it so he is obviously paying some support.



    2 months is not a huge deal.

    Sounds to me like you don't have grounds for abandonment.

    2 months is a huge deal without calling considering he has both of my numbers lives 15 minutes away and is barely working. It has been since the end of August since he has seen him. He has only called twice since August.
  14. #14
    TheGeekess is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    The Heart o' Dixie
    Posts
    9,554
    Here's the deal. You can file to have sole legal and physical custody, but at any point in the future, Dad can still come back and file to receive visitation. As far as Junior calling your boyfriend "Dad".... That is so wrong on so many levels. He has a Dad and your boyfriend isn't it. Judges don't like those kinds of games.
  15. #15
    Proserpina is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    Watching you eat your Cheerios
    Posts
    38,071
    Quote Originally Posted by alonzobaby32 View Post
    who said anything about preventing the dad from seeing the child.
    If you're trying to claim the other parent has abandoned your child, it generally equates to "terminate other parent's rights, please".

    Ergo "preventing that parent from seeing the child".

    Next question?

Similar Threads

  1. Child Abandonment
    By 35HOLMES in forum Child Custody & Visitation
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 09-12-2007, 02:49 PM
  2. Child Abandonment ?
    By mrsprr in forum Child Support
    Replies: 18
    Last Post: 04-28-2006, 10:05 AM
  3. child abandonment
    By carofl93 in forum Child Custody & Visitation
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 09-12-2003, 05:13 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

© 1995-2012 Advice Company, All Rights Reserved

FreeAdvice® has been providing millions of consumers with outstanding advice, free, since 1995. While not a substitute for personal advice from a licensed professional, it is available AS IS, subject to our Disclaimer and Terms & Conditions Of Use.