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Child Abuse by a Step-Parent

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lgstraight

Junior Member
What is the name of your state? Washington State

My ex-wife and I have joint custody of our 2 kids. They spend 1 week at my home and 1 week at her house.

Our Parenting Plan indicates that the step-parent is not allowed to strike our children. My wife's husband used a belt on my 12 year old son a couple of days ago. I went to the police and they said that what he did was a civil matter and not a criminal matter because it was within the legal limits. I am very concerned about my children's safety as this man has a very bad temper - to the extent he was arrested several years ago for hitting my ex-wife.

Other than hiring an attorney and entering into a very costly custody battle, which I cannot afford, what can I do to keep my children away from this man? I am extremely concerned for their safety - specifically my 12 year old son. Please help.
 


LdiJ

Senior Member
What is the name of your state? Washington State

My ex-wife and I have joint custody of our 2 kids. They spend 1 week at my home and 1 week at her house.

Our Parenting Plan indicates that the step-parent is not allowed to strike our children. My wife's husband used a belt on my 12 year old son a couple of days ago. I went to the police and they said that what he did was a civil matter and not a criminal matter because it was within the legal limits. I am very concerned about my children's safety as this man has a very bad temper - to the extent he was arrested several years ago for hitting my ex-wife.

Other than hiring an attorney and entering into a very costly custody battle, which I cannot afford, what can I do to keep my children away from this man? I am extremely concerned for their safety - specifically my 12 year old son. Please help.
Did he leave any bruises or welts? Have you talked to CPS?

You definitely need to take it back to court, at a minium for the violation of the parenting agreement. If you absolutely cannot afford an attorney you can represent yourself.
 

Silverplum

Senior Member
What is the name of your state? Washington State

My ex-wife and I have joint custody of our 2 kids. They spend 1 week at my home and 1 week at her house.

Our Parenting Plan indicates that the step-parent is not allowed to strike our children. My wife's husband used a belt on my 12 year old son a couple of days ago. I went to the police and they said that what he did was a civil matter and not a criminal matter because it was within the legal limits. I am very concerned about my children's safety as this man has a very bad temper - to the extent he was arrested several years ago for hitting my ex-wife.

Other than hiring an attorney and entering into a very costly custody battle, which I cannot afford, what can I do to keep my children away from this man? I am extremely concerned for their safety - specifically my 12 year old son. Please help.
Call Child Protective Services. Other than that, you will probably need an attorney.
 

lgstraight

Junior Member
Did he leave any bruises or welts? Have you talked to CPS?

You definitely need to take it back to court, at a minium for the violation of the parenting agreement. If you absolutely cannot afford an attorney you can represent yourself.
Yes there were bruises and I took pictures. I thought about contacting CPS but thought they would just blow me off as a vindictive father.

The attorney I used when she sued for full custody (and lost) wants a $3500 retainer... is that the norm?
 

CJane

Senior Member
Call Child Protective Services. Other than that, you will probably need an attorney.
CPS is unlikely to do anything if this was w/in legal limits for corporal punishment.

OP ~ Don't expect an arrest 'several years ago' to matter at all in court if you do take this back before a judge.
 

Silverplum

Senior Member
CPS is unlikely to do anything if this was w/in legal limits for corporal punishment.
Probably not, but OP does say the parenting plan forbids it. OP also doesn't want to spend $$$, so CPS appears to be his/her only option...

CJane said:
OP ~ Don't expect an arrest 'several years ago' to matter at all in court if you do take this back before a judge.
What matters is that the parenting plan forbids stepparent physical discipline.
 

lgstraight

Junior Member
CPS is unlikely to do anything if this was w/in legal limits for corporal punishment.

OP ~ Don't expect an arrest 'several years ago' to matter at all in court if you do take this back before a judge.

His arrest in 2000 for spousal abuse is one of the reasons my ex was not able to receive full custody so I guess that is in my favor.

Is $3500 retainer for this type of thing normal? Is there such a thing as an attorney that takes payments?
 

CJane

Senior Member
Probably not, but OP does say the parenting plan forbids it. OP also doesn't want to spend $$$, so CPS appears to be his/her only option...



What matters is that the parenting plan forbids stepparent physical discipline.
Oh, I agree completely. I just didn't want OP getting his hopes up that CPS was going to DO anything.

OP ~ $3500 seems high for a contempt filing. Or are you hoping to use this to modify custody? Because in that case, it seems fair-ish.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
Oh, I agree completely. I just didn't want OP getting his hopes up that CPS was going to DO anything.

OP ~ $3500 seems high for a contempt filing. Or are you hoping to use this to modify custody? Because in that case, it seems fair-ish.
He did say that there were bruises, and pictures...so that could make a difference with CPS. I am actually rather surprized that it didn't make a difference with the police.
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
Oh, I agree completely. I just didn't want OP getting his hopes up that CPS was going to DO anything.

OP ~ $3500 seems high for a contempt filing. Or are you hoping to use this to modify custody? Because in that case, it seems fair-ish.
If CPS does not think this is abuse then there is a problem because if bruises/welts were left due to the use of a belt -- that IS abuse!
 

lgstraight

Junior Member
Oh, I agree completely. I just didn't want OP getting his hopes up that CPS was going to DO anything.

OP ~ $3500 seems high for a contempt filing. Or are you hoping to use this to modify custody? Because in that case, it seems fair-ish.
I will call CPS right away and hope something will happen.

I want what is best/safest for my children not to mention the most immediate remedy as my son is afraid. Having not been exposed to this type of thing previously, what do you all suggest I do? They are supposed to go back to her on Friday... can I withhold them from her? By doing so I know that means I am disregarding the parenting plan also.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
I will call CPS right away and hope something will happen.

I want what is best/safest for my children not to mention the most immediate remedy as my son is afraid. Having not been exposed to this type of thing previously, what do you all suggest I do? They are supposed to go back to her on Friday... can I withhold them from her? By doing so I know that means I am disregarding the parenting plan also.
Call CPS immediately, and ask for quick action because the children are supposed to go back to them on Friday.
 

CJane

Senior Member
If CPS does not think this is abuse then there is a problem because if bruises/welts were left due to the use of a belt -- that IS abuse!
While I agree with you on a moral/ethical/parental level... it may not rise to the abuse standard on a legal level.

This is the 'spanking law' in Washington state:

WASHINGTON

Physical discipline is not unlawful if reasonable and moderate and inflicted by parent /teacher/guardian for restraint or correction. Presumed unreasonable if the following are used to correct/ restrain: -- Throwing, kicking, burning, cutting, striking with a closed fist, shaking a child under 3, interfering with breathing, threatening with a deadly weapon, any other act likely to cause and which does cause bodily harm greater than transient pain or minor temporary marks. [Statute says this list is illustrative and not exclusive]. Age, size,condition of child, and location of injury are all factors in determining "reasonable" and "moderate." Sec. 9A.16.100.[Cr.]
If the bruises were 'minor temporary marks', then it wasn't legally abuse.
 

lgstraight

Junior Member
While I agree with you on a moral/ethical/parental level... it may not rise to the abuse standard on a legal level.

This is the 'spanking law' in Washington state:



If the bruises were 'minor temporary marks', then it wasn't legally abuse.

except our parenting plan states:
All discipline actions towards the children shall only be done by the parent of the child, except for immediate non-corporal discipline responses to conduct occurring while the children are in the residence of the step-parent and the parent is not present. Step-parents shall not physically discipline the children.

CPS will take action as long as the parenting plan is provided, correct?
 

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