Originally Posted by cdm
Has he been not only supporting the child, but supporting mom (who is not even his wife) as well, these previous years? Voluntarilly, with no court order and no legal paternity determination?
If so, you truly have no business calling the guy a "deadbeat". Dad is only legally liable for court ordered child support - and is not legally the child's father UNTIL paternity is established. And he is not, nor has been, nor will be, legally responsible to support mom.
Adoptive parents ARE "real" parents. Sharing genes is not what makes you a "parent"!