Child custody case for an unmarried mother

[babygirl43160]

Ohio.

I am an unmarried mother of a 2 year old little girl. I have just found out today who her real father is. He has sent me a message saying he's going to take me to court, prove I am an unfit mother to get custody of my little girl. My daughter does not know this man, she has never met him before in her life. He is mentally insane or at least has mental records and has been in the mental ward a few times that I know of. He has scars up and down both arms from where he has tryed to kill himself many times. Would I get soul custody of my little girl? I have been doing research on this for many months and well I still haven't found all the information that I need. I am worried about my little girls safety more than I am anything else. So I will get sole custody of her right? And will he get visatations or no? Or what can I do about this situation?

 

[Proserpina]

Ohio.

I am an unmarried mother of a 2 year old little girl. I have just found out today who her real father is. He has sent me a message saying he's going to take me to court, prove I am an unfit mother to get custody of my little girl. My daughter does not know this man, she has never met him before in her life. He is mentally insane or at least has mental records and has been in the mental ward a few times that I know of. He has scars up and down both arms from where he has tryed to kill himself many times. Would I get soul custody of my little girl? I have been doing research on this for many months and well I still haven't found all the information that I need. I am worried about my little girls safety more than I am anything else. So I will get sole custody of her right? And will he get visatations or no? Or what can I do about this situation?

Once paternity is established he will be able to file for some sort of custody and visitation.

There's no chance he will get physical custody unless you're unfit. He will however be able to get at least an enforceable visitation schedule in place. You can request that at least initially, the visits are supervised and graduated so that he and kiddo can get to know each other.

He may also get joint legal (decision-making) custody.

 

[babygirl43160]

Once paternity is established he will be able to file for some sort of custody and visitation.

There's no chance he will get physical custody unless you're unfit. He will however be able to get at least an enforceable visitation schedule in place. You can request that at least initially, the visits are supervised and graduated so that he and kiddo can get to know each other.

He may also get joint legal (decision-making) custody.

He says I'm unfit by the people I have lived with and no longer live with. Well he even brings my mother into it whom I do live with til after my 2nd c-section is done and over with. How will that effect anything. My daughter and I no longer live with my ex(the new baby's father and whom my daughters father says is the reason why I am unfit). Like I said I now live with my mom until I get out of the hospital healed up and can get a place of my own. will that effect anything at all?

 

[Proserpina]

He says I'm unfit by the people I have lived with and no longer live with. Well he even brings my mother into it whom I do live with til after my 2nd c-section is done and over with. How will that effect anything. My daughter and I no longer live with my ex(the new baby's father and whom my daughters father says is the reason why I am unfit). Like I said I now live with my mom until I get out of the hospital healed up and can get a place of my own. will that effect anything at all?

Please read the forums a bit, Mom. It is actually terrifically difficult to prove a parent legally unfit.

You'd have to be actively neglecting or abusing the child, or subjecting the child to pretty horrifying conditions. Or, subjecting the child to a convicted child molester, for example.

Living with your Mom is not an issue (you take your time healing - don't go out rushing for your own place until you're actually ready).

 

[babygirl43160]

also he has never once seen her, had any contact with her what so ever. he has never spent anytime with her at all, they do not know each other. he has not been there at all since day 1 and now he's going to try to take her away. when he doesn't know her and she will not go near a stranger like him.

 

[Proserpina]

also he has never once seen her, had any contact with her what so ever. he has never spent anytime with her at all, they do not know each other. he has not been there at all since day 1 and now he's going to try to take her away. when he doesn't know her and she will not go near a stranger like him.

Mom. Seriously. Calm down. Take some deep breaths. He's not taking her away from you.

But he WILL be allowed to have visitation with her. That's something you need to accept.

 

[babygirl43160]

I really hope not. He has tryed to kill me let alone himself. He is an endangerment to himself and others espically woman and her being a girl she doesn't need to be around him. I wish there was some way he would just sign his rights over. He's to far up his moms well ya know lol and does whatever she says. I've tryed to be resonable and tryed to avoid everything but telling him I could meet him here or there so he can get to know her before he could get actual visatations but he blew up and said I was unfit that she lived with a drug dealer and her drunk grandma who drinks n drives. which is all lies i mean i did live with an ex of mine for a year and 6 months he had a job for almost a year then lost it and i took over but he done odd jobs here and there and we had help from his brother until i left and came back here to my moms and last i knew my daughters father has no proof of anything but the fact that my mom does drink. and hes gonna try to prove that i'm unfit, i dont think he can prove it, i'm just trying to get advice because i honestly don't know what to do, how to stop all this nonsense from hitting court. when all i wanted was help supporting her money wise and maybe let him have visatations if he acted like an adult but he acts like a spoiled rotten little boy who has to have his way and i dont think its even fit for my daughter to see him if he's not gonna grow up and act like an adult let alone a father

 

[Proserpina]

I really hope not. He has tryed to kill me let alone himself. He is an endangerment to himself and others espically woman and her being a girl she doesn't need to be around him. I wish there was some way he would just sign his rights over. He's to far up his moms well ya know lol and does whatever she says. I've tryed to be resonable and tryed to avoid everything but telling him I could meet him here or there so he can get to know her before he could get actual visatations but he blew up and said I was unfit that she lived with a drug dealer and her drunk grandma who drinks n drives. which is all lies i mean i did live with an ex of mine for a year and 6 months he had a job for almost a year then lost it and i took over but he done odd jobs here and there and we had help from his brother until i left and came back here to my moms and last i knew my daughters father has no proof of anything but the fact that my mom does drink. and hes gonna try to prove that i'm unfit, i dont think he can prove it, i'm just trying to get advice because i honestly don't know what to do, how to stop all this nonsense from hitting court. when all i wanted was help supporting her money wise and maybe let him have visatations if he acted like an adult but he acts like a spoiled rotten little boy who has to have his way and i dont think its even fit for my daughter to see him if he's not gonna grow up and act like an adult let alone a father

None of this changes anything. He will get some sort of visitation if he files for it.

And he cannot sign over "rights", unless you are married and your husband wishes to adopt the child.

 

[babygirl43160]

well thank u that helps a little.

 

[Ohiogal]

Once paternity is established he will be able to file for some sort of custody and visitation.

There's no chance he will get physical custody unless you're unfit. He will however be able to get at least an enforceable visitation schedule in place. You can request that at least initially, the visits are supervised and graduated so that he and kiddo can get to know each other.

He may also get joint legal (decision-making) custody.

You are wrong about the "no chance he will get physical custody" because there is a PRESUMPTION in the state of Ohio of shared custody for both parents UNLESS it is proven that there is a good reason why they should NOT get joint custody -- including shared physical custody.

 

[Ohiogal]

also he has never once seen her, had any contact with her what so ever. he has never spent anytime with her at all, they do not know each other. he has not been there at all since day 1 and now he's going to try to take her away. when he doesn't know her and she will not go near a stranger like him.

Ohio has a PRESUMPTION OF shared custody. Both physical and legal. That does not mean he will get PRIMARY custody however it is possible for him to get physical and legal custody jointly with you.

JOint does NOT equate with equal time. Why does he NOT know the child? Have you talked to your child about her father?

 

[Proserpina]

OP, Dad has virtually no chance at being the PRIMARY parent unless there is a question about your fitness as a parent. Please understand too, OP, that "shared physical custody" does not equate to a 50/50 timeshare or anything of that nature.

 

[Ohiogal]

I really hope not. He has tryed to kill me let alone himself.

Was he convicted of trying to kill you? What about trying to kill himself? When did that happen?

He is an endangerment to himself and others espically woman and her being a girl she doesn't need to be around him.

If he takes you to court you better be able to prove that he is a danger to HIS CHILD. He has a right to parent his daughter (once she is proven to be his).

I wish there was some way he would just sign his rights over.

If you are primary custodial parent, your job will be to facilitate his relationship with his daughter. The above doesn't sound like you will do that.

He's to far up his moms well ya know lol and does whatever she says. I've tryed to be resonable and tryed to avoid everything but telling him I could meet him here or there so he can get to know her before he could get actual visatations but he blew up and said I was unfit that she lived with a drug dealer and her drunk grandma who drinks n drives. which is all lies i mean i did live with an ex of mine for a year and 6 months he had a job for almost a year then lost it and i took over but he done odd jobs here and there and we had help from his brother until i left and came back here to my moms and last i knew my daughters father has no proof of anything but the fact that my mom does drink.

Has your mother ever been convicted of a DUI? If so, when? Was the person that you were living with ever convicted of a drug offense? if so, when?

and hes gonna try to prove that i'm unfit, i dont think he can prove it, i'm just trying to get advice because i honestly don't know what to do, how to stop all this nonsense from hitting court.

He doesn't have to prove you unfit. At the initial custody motion, he just has to show he is the father and the argument becomes about best interests.

when all i wanted was help supporting her money wise and maybe let him have visatations if he acted like an adult but he acts like a spoiled rotten little boy who has to have his way and i dont think its even fit for my daughter to see him if he's not gonna grow up and act like an adult let alone a father

You wanted him to be a wallet and play by your rules. He decided to not play by your rules and he is in the wrong because he has stated he will go court. That is NOT being spoiled. That is being smart. You don't think he is fit -- why did you have sex with such an immature little boy and choose to make him a father?

 

[Ohiogal]

None of this changes anything. He will get some sort of visitation if he files for it.

And he cannot sign over "rights", unless you are married and your husband wishes to adopt the child.

He may also get shared parenting/joint custody. Whether she agrees or not.

 

[Ohiogal]

OP, Dad has virtually no chance at being the PRIMARY parent unless there is a question about your fitness as a parent. Please understand too, OP, that "shared physical custody" does not equate to a 50/50 timeshare or anything of that nature.

Wrong. At an initial custody determination it is based STRICTLY on best interests and how that plays out. It does not necessarily need to ahve a question about OP's fitness. It is strictly best interests. Now her being primary parent for two years is a point in her favor. But depending on the background of her former roommate/boyfriend and her mother, that could turn in dad's direction.