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  1. #1
    Missa13 is offline Junior Member
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    child custody of a child you find out isn't yours

    What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? PA

    So what do you do if you find out that the child you thought was yours for 12 years isn't. I am a concerned step parent, this information was just told to us yesterday.

    His ex wife informed him that his child is not his and that she found the child's real father. What are the rights that my husband has as far as continued visits with the child, even though the child is not really his child? Does he even have rights of the child, and what about the child support he has paid for the child? Will it matter if she knew that the child wasn't my husband's and filed all of the paper work anyway?Are there any steps that we need to take or are there any processes that we need to start.

    We have called the local courthouse but they couldn't give me any help. I am so confused as to what to do and I have no idea what to expect next... Any help would be much appreciated. My husband is a mess and we aren't quite sure how to go about anything.

    Please help!!!!
  2. #2
    MichaCA is offline Senior Member
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    Has a paternity test happened...with either man? Without that, its all conjecture.

    After that wait for a senior to respond. Was he married to the mother at the time of the childs' birth? If so, my take on this and the age of the child is he is her legal father even if not biological father.

    But wait for a senior.

    Poor child. Does she know? She absolutely will need family counseling asap.
  3. #3
    Missa13 is offline Junior Member
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    As far as we know his ex-wife has taken it upon herself to find, the father, have the tests, and to also inform the child that the father they thought was there isn't really. I feel very bad for my husband and the child, I feel like my hands are tied and I don't want to see either of them hurt.

    After the phone conversation last night, the legal father is taking her to court over visitation of the child. We just aren't really sure what to do. I also wasn't sure if my husband should be at court when they go or if he, really has no right. It's so confusing and he is hurting so much...
  4. #4
    Proserpina is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Missa13 View Post
    As far as we know his ex-wife has taken it upon herself to find, the father, have the tests, and to also inform the child that the father they thought was there isn't really. I feel very bad for my husband and the child, I feel like my hands are tied and I don't want to see either of them hurt.

    After the phone conversation last night, the legal father is taking her to court over visitation of the child. We just aren't really sure what to do. I also wasn't sure if my husband should be at court when they go or if he, really has no right. It's so confusing and he is hurting so much...

    Until a court says otherwise your husband is still Dad.

    Were they married when the child was born?

    Has he had regular contact with the child?

    Has he been served with any court papers?
  5. #5
    Zigner is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Missa13 View Post
    As far as we know his ex-wife has taken it upon herself to find, the father, have the tests, and to also inform the child that the father they thought was there isn't really. I feel very bad for my husband and the child, I feel like my hands are tied and I don't want to see either of them hurt.

    After the phone conversation last night, the legal father is taking her to court over visitation of the child. We just aren't really sure what to do. I also wasn't sure if my husband should be at court when they go or if he, really has no right. It's so confusing and he is hurting so much...
    From the sound of it, HUBBY is the legal father. He should get a consult with a local family law attorney.
  6. #6
    Missa13 is offline Junior Member
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    He has been the only father that the child has ever known. As far as I know his ex wife has already talked to the child about what is going on... he has not received any papers from the court yet... this all transpired last night. I have tried to call a few attorneys to try to talk about it but no one will talk to me. It's so frustrating and I feel so bad for the child...and for my husband. I just don't know what steps we should take or if we should be prepared for anything!
  7. #7
    Zigner is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Missa13 View Post
    He has been the only father that the child has ever known. As far as I know his ex wife has already talked to the child about what is going on... he has not received any papers from the court yet... this all transpired last night. I have tried to call a few attorneys to try to talk about it but no one will talk to me. It's so frustrating and I feel so bad for the child...and for my husband. I just don't know what steps we should take or if we should be prepared for anything!
    That's because it's not your place to do so. Hubby needs to be making calls...
  8. #8
    LdiJ is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Missa13 View Post
    He has been the only father that the child has ever known. As far as I know his ex wife has already talked to the child about what is going on... he has not received any papers from the court yet... this all transpired last night. I have tried to call a few attorneys to try to talk about it but no one will talk to me. It's so frustrating and I feel so bad for the child...and for my husband. I just don't know what steps we should take or if we should be prepared for anything!
    Your husband is the child's legal father and has all the rights and responsibilities to the child until or unless a court dis-establishes your husband's paternity.

    The biological father cannot file to establish any rights until or unless your husband's paternity is dis-established and the biological father's paternity is established.

    If your husband wishes to remain the father, then he needs to fight any dis-establishment of his legal fatherhood.

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