Hi,
My ex-girlfriend recently served me with papers filing for custody of our five month old son. I currently live in Louisiana, but she lives in California with our son and her son from a previous marriage.
I plan to speak with an attorney in the next few days, but I wanted to get some advice and truly see what my chances are of gaining custody of my son.
First off, the Mother has a long history of drug abuse. Apart from all the illegal activity and abuse that I witnessed while living with her, she was arrested here in Louisiana when she was eight months pregnant (May 19, 2009). The charge is possession with intent to distribute narcotics (schedule III). That case is still pending and she has yet to appear in court. I know the details of the case; she phoned a contact in California and had him send her 50 hydrocodone pills. I believe she will plead not-guilty.
Other than that, the only solid evidence I have of drug abuse is:
1. I have knowledge of her ordering six bottles of Soma (a strong muscle relaxer) from an internet pharmacy while she was three months pregnant. Soma is a category C drug, which means it has not been tested on pregnant women and should not be used while pregnant unless ordered by a doctor. She ordered them while visiting family in California in December 2008. She could not have disclosed the fact that she was pregnant to the pharmacy or they would not have prescribed them to her. I can't bring this information up online anymore, but I would assume the court could subpoena her records from that internet pharmacy. When I questioned her about the purchases, she claims she sold them for Christmas money. I have to assume that the court would look down on this whether she took the pills or sold them. I also have knowledge of her ordering at least nine more bottles of Soma from this same pharmacy before she was pregnant.
2. I have knowledge of her paying for and ordering hydrocodone from a known drug dealer in California. I know of her ordering from this guy at least three times (one of which was the shipment that got her arrested), but I would have to assume she ordered them other times as well. These transactions took place both before her pregnancy and during.
3. I have knowledge of her Mother (who is an addict as well) sending her at least 120 fentanyl suckers (a very strong narcotic usually prescribed to cancer patients) on several separate occasions over a six month period. Her mother also sent her hydrocodone pills from time to time. These transactions took place before the pregnancy.
4. I have knowledge of her communicating with at least two doctors (one in Washington and one in Louisiana) at a time to gain pain pills. She was seeing a pain management doctor here in Louisiana and calling an old doctor of hers in Washington at the same time. And she was ordering the Soma online at the same time also. She admitted to me at a later date that she was never really in any pain and did not need to be seen by a pain management doctor. These transactions took place both before and during the pregnancy.
5. I have knowledge of her harboring pills even after our son was born and while she was breast feeding. I was in California visiting after our son was born. At the time, I had a pinched nerve in my back causing pain down my left leg. I went to the doctor and got a prescription for 100 hydrocodone pills for the pain. The day before I left California, 30 of those pills came up missing. I counted the pills every day because I knew of her history. She later admitted to taking them.
6. Other than these things, I have personally witnessed her purchasing pills from several people, trading drugs with several people, and I have found pills of unknown origin throughout our house over a period of nearly a year and a half.
I never made a move to gain custody of my son because she led me to believe that she was in an outpatient treatment program in California. I found out later that she was never in a program. I wanted to believe that she had a good heart and would eventually come around. I now regret not making a move because my son has been exposed to this lifestyle for way too long.
I am a really great Father. I have domiciliary custody of my two daughters from a previous marriage. Their Mother and I have 50/50 custody of the girls and she has already told me she will write a letter telling the court what a great Father I am.
I fear there are two things she will bring up in court concerning my skills as a Father. She will bring up my lack of financial support since she left for California and had the baby. I am currently unemployed. I have sent her money every time she has asked for it, but it doesn't add up to all that much. I am honestly doing all that I can at the moment. Also, she may bring up the fact that I would take pills from her every now and then when my back was hurting. I have had chronic back pain ever since I got out of the Army, and for the past year and a half, I have not had insurance. So, when she had them and I had back pain, I would take them when she offered them. But I never abused them or became addicted to them. And I never took them from her after she admitted to me that she had an addiction problem.
Please help me find a direction here. What are my chances? What can I subpoena for the hearing? What should I do, other than talk to an attorney? What actions would hurt me right now? What actions would help? Should I call CPS in California and have them test her for drugs now? Should I call the police in California? Please help?
My ex-girlfriend recently served me with papers filing for custody of our five month old son. I currently live in Louisiana, but she lives in California with our son and her son from a previous marriage.
I plan to speak with an attorney in the next few days, but I wanted to get some advice and truly see what my chances are of gaining custody of my son.
First off, the Mother has a long history of drug abuse. Apart from all the illegal activity and abuse that I witnessed while living with her, she was arrested here in Louisiana when she was eight months pregnant (May 19, 2009). The charge is possession with intent to distribute narcotics (schedule III). That case is still pending and she has yet to appear in court. I know the details of the case; she phoned a contact in California and had him send her 50 hydrocodone pills. I believe she will plead not-guilty.
Other than that, the only solid evidence I have of drug abuse is:
1. I have knowledge of her ordering six bottles of Soma (a strong muscle relaxer) from an internet pharmacy while she was three months pregnant. Soma is a category C drug, which means it has not been tested on pregnant women and should not be used while pregnant unless ordered by a doctor. She ordered them while visiting family in California in December 2008. She could not have disclosed the fact that she was pregnant to the pharmacy or they would not have prescribed them to her. I can't bring this information up online anymore, but I would assume the court could subpoena her records from that internet pharmacy. When I questioned her about the purchases, she claims she sold them for Christmas money. I have to assume that the court would look down on this whether she took the pills or sold them. I also have knowledge of her ordering at least nine more bottles of Soma from this same pharmacy before she was pregnant.
2. I have knowledge of her paying for and ordering hydrocodone from a known drug dealer in California. I know of her ordering from this guy at least three times (one of which was the shipment that got her arrested), but I would have to assume she ordered them other times as well. These transactions took place both before her pregnancy and during.
3. I have knowledge of her Mother (who is an addict as well) sending her at least 120 fentanyl suckers (a very strong narcotic usually prescribed to cancer patients) on several separate occasions over a six month period. Her mother also sent her hydrocodone pills from time to time. These transactions took place before the pregnancy.
4. I have knowledge of her communicating with at least two doctors (one in Washington and one in Louisiana) at a time to gain pain pills. She was seeing a pain management doctor here in Louisiana and calling an old doctor of hers in Washington at the same time. And she was ordering the Soma online at the same time also. She admitted to me at a later date that she was never really in any pain and did not need to be seen by a pain management doctor. These transactions took place both before and during the pregnancy.
5. I have knowledge of her harboring pills even after our son was born and while she was breast feeding. I was in California visiting after our son was born. At the time, I had a pinched nerve in my back causing pain down my left leg. I went to the doctor and got a prescription for 100 hydrocodone pills for the pain. The day before I left California, 30 of those pills came up missing. I counted the pills every day because I knew of her history. She later admitted to taking them.
6. Other than these things, I have personally witnessed her purchasing pills from several people, trading drugs with several people, and I have found pills of unknown origin throughout our house over a period of nearly a year and a half.
I never made a move to gain custody of my son because she led me to believe that she was in an outpatient treatment program in California. I found out later that she was never in a program. I wanted to believe that she had a good heart and would eventually come around. I now regret not making a move because my son has been exposed to this lifestyle for way too long.
I am a really great Father. I have domiciliary custody of my two daughters from a previous marriage. Their Mother and I have 50/50 custody of the girls and she has already told me she will write a letter telling the court what a great Father I am.
I fear there are two things she will bring up in court concerning my skills as a Father. She will bring up my lack of financial support since she left for California and had the baby. I am currently unemployed. I have sent her money every time she has asked for it, but it doesn't add up to all that much. I am honestly doing all that I can at the moment. Also, she may bring up the fact that I would take pills from her every now and then when my back was hurting. I have had chronic back pain ever since I got out of the Army, and for the past year and a half, I have not had insurance. So, when she had them and I had back pain, I would take them when she offered them. But I never abused them or became addicted to them. And I never took them from her after she admitted to me that she had an addiction problem.
Please help me find a direction here. What are my chances? What can I subpoena for the hearing? What should I do, other than talk to an attorney? What actions would hurt me right now? What actions would help? Should I call CPS in California and have them test her for drugs now? Should I call the police in California? Please help?