child Custody to Grandparents if something happened to me.

[Janifer]

Good for you

I'm glad you have some support. Good for you. I hope you hear everything that you want. That seems to be the only thing that will make you happy.

 

[ktarra617]

Tara,

I posted the first response and I am sorry to tell you that you will hear the same thing from a lawyer. You cannot will a child to your parents just because you don't think dad is mature enough to handle a child.

Just a thought have you ever considered the idea that he is the way he is right now because he knows that he doesn't have to be the responsible one, you are doing that. You are doing everything that needs to be done. Its amazing how people can grow up the minute they have to.. Not all do but if God forbid something were to happen to you don't write dad off yet, he may realize what he has to do...

but the bottom line is most of us here are not legal professionals. We did not pay thousands of dollars to a law school to learn what we know. We paid a dearer price in our time, our emotions and our love for the people we were fighting for. We learned by having to go through the legal system which is not how I would recommend you get your legal education.

But I promise you if we were to give out wrong advice then one of the Legal Professionals would correct us.

I am sorry this is not what you wanted to hear but in the end dad is dad and the court will seek to place the child with him first so long as he is fit and wants custody of the child, your parents and everyone else come second.

Its not up to you its up to a judge.....

 

[JoandJa'smom]

You don't get it!!!

Janifer, Tara is not hearing the advice she really wanted. I told her the truth and that being that it would be difficult for her child to go to her parents over the father in case of her death. I did not go into treating her like she was a selfish mother for wanting her child to go live w/her folks, I simply told her the truth! To bad you can not do the same! You are biased.

JoandJa'smom

 

[stealth2]

Re: You don't get it!!!

Janifer, Tara is not hearing the advice she really wanted. I told her the truth and that being that it would be difficult for her child to go to her parents over the father in case of her death. I did not go into treating her like she was a selfish mother for wanting her child to go live w/her folks, I simply told her the truth! To bad you can not do the same! You are biased.

JoandJa'smom

As it happens - she's not. She's read the same question (as I have) over and over and over - which is why posters are requested to search the boards (there's even a link for it!) before posting. Tara was also told several times - in different ways - that the law doesn't work the way she'd like it to. You are not permitted to will children.

Now, I'd be willing to admit that when you're up over 1000 posts of trying to help people, it get s little old when they don't like the answers. That is certainly something that we could work on. But don't judge it until you've been here that long, okay?

 

[Tara Patience]

acting

I had never said I didn't like the answer or that I had never understood it I had understood and excepted the answer the first time it was told to me, But I don't appreciate getting words put in my mouth and getting rudely told things if you are mature adults there is no need to call people names or anything else when all they did was ask a question. This is all I have left to say I have already gotten help from you that are mature and unbiosed. Thank You All That Helped Me

 

[JoandJa'smom]

I did not see a sign!!!

Saying I had to be here for a long time to give my opinion on anything. I was just giving my opinion to help this poor gal Tara out who seems to me to have been wrongly treated here. I don't think this is a club where some users can post certain things and others can't. But, then again, I could be wrong!LMAO!!

JoandJa'smom

 

[stealth2]

You misunderstood, J&J's mom. The point was - when you've read & answered as many posts - you get burned out and fed up. Which is something for us to deal with.

 

[rslaght]

sorry to butt in but...

I have read and read all these posts and I did not see anyone attacking anyone. Her question was answered in the first 3 posts but she kept this on going saga...I really believe some people just are unhappy and like to cause trouble. This is ridicilous. Her question was answered if she doesn't like it or doesn't think it is correct call an attorney.

 

[JoandJa'smom]

But see, that is just not true. You can will your children!!!!!

My lawyer even told me so. It can be fought over in court, but if you put a person or persons as gaurdians over the child in case of death in does mean something.

JoandJa'smom

 

[ktarra617]

you can list anyone you want as a guardian in a will but I can promise if there is a biological parent somewhere in the picture and that person wants custody of their child, then 9 times out of 10 the court is going to go along with the biological parent.

You cannot under any circumstance will a child to anyone. If your lawyer told you that then you need a new lawyer.

That question has been answered on here so many times by lawyers that its getting a bit absurd!

CP's need to quit trying to figure out how to keep their ex spouses from raising their children just because they the CP doesn't want them too!! My Lord they were good enough to lay down and create a child with, and now you are going to decide they are not fit to parent? Should of thought about that before you got pregnant!!

A guardian is not a parent!

Dont intend to sound rude but jeez louise people children are not property to be passed around. Children belong with their parents!!

just my two cents take or leave it.

 

[spurt68]

Personal experience-sorry no legal advice

Tara, I don't post here very often because like you, I have felt as if I were judged rather than given advice when I asked for it. But, I have dealt with this situation recently and this is what I was told by the attorney that drafted my will and durable power of attorney...I can state my wishes for my children in my will (same as you-that they be with my mother) and grant her guardianship (in the event that I can no longer care for them or that I am no longer living). Now, while my ex has the right to fight it, most judges are reluctant to go against the wishes of the custodial parent when their wishes are specified in a will. Just a thought and excuse me if this has been addressed-I may have missed it in all the posts-Do you think he would even be interested in parenting on a full time basis in the event that you no longer could? In my case, it's very unlikely.

 

[ktarra617]

the problem with willing children is that if you could do that then there would be a lot of good ncp's getting royally screwed over even more than they already are!!

A biological parent has first dibs when it comes to custody of minor children after the death of the custodial parent....

Everyone else comes second..you can state your wishes but in the end as several lawyer on here and ones that I have personally talked too you can name whoever but if the NCP has been doing everything they are supposed and there is no reason for the NCP not to have custody you are out of luck.

 

[marcus_n_tonya]

Maybe I am missing something here

I have been watching this thread for a bit now and it seems like a lot of people seem to be arguing even though they are saying the same or similar things.

Now, it is my understanding that in a Will you can choose a guardian for your children; call it willing your children or whatever you want.

HOWEVER, it doesn't matter who I WILL my children to if the NCP WANTS that child and contests the placement with any other guardian. As in anything else it is ultimately decided by the court of jurisdiction based on the information provided but if the NCP wants that child and cannot be proven unfit then the guardian you named in your Will is SOL. That is my understanding of it anyway.

 

[nhunsb1]

I have an idea... lets do some research.... Here we go....

FAMILY.CODE
SECTION 3010-3011

3010. (a) The mother of an unemancipated minor child and the
father, if presumed to be the father under Section 7611, are equally
entitled to the custody of the child.
(b) If one parent is dead, is unable or refuses to take custody,
or has abandoned the child, the other parent is entitled to custody
of the child.

You can check it out for yourself at
http://www.leginfo.ca.gov/calaw.html

(check the family code then hit search... it is Division 8 Chapter 2)

 

[JoandJa'smom]

Ok, I did not say that just cause you list someone as a gaurdian in your will they will get custody. I said that yes, you can will your children to someone if you die. Whether or not a judge would go for it is another issue. It was said that you cannot just will your children and I was simply saying that is not true. I have 2 children. One w/ex and one w/dh. Both are willed to go to my mom and dad if something was to happen to me or my dh. Now, I know that oldest sons father would likely go to court to get custody from my parents and that is his choice and right. I am not arguing that at all! I AM SIMPLY SAYING YOU CAN WILL YOUR CHILDREN!

JoandJa'smom