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  1. #1
    isaacsdad is offline Junior Member
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    Child custody hearing next week...

    What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? California

    I have a child custody hearing next wednesday. I do not have the money to hire an attorney but I have been getting a little help with paperwork from a friend who is a paralegal who works for a family law attorney.

    We had an ex-parte hearing because I had her served with the papers on the day she was supposed to get my son back. On advice from the paralegal, I did not give my son back to his mother (I have him for a week every other week and switch off on sundays) and wanted to get something in writing saying that if I did, she would continue regular visitation untill we went to court (shes taken him before, and I went to the house where my son was to try and get him back and was arrested.about a year and a half ago when we were still together). On monday she hired an attorney and on tuesday we had an ex-parte hearing. I was oredered to give him back and resume regular visitation untill we go to our hearing.

    The paralegal asked if I knew any of the mothers email passwords. When we were together, we shared a myspace account and she never changed the password. Later that day I checked the myspace account of my sons mother and found that the week before she was asking around for some MDMA and on the morning of the exparte hearing she was still asking about it and the same day after the hearing she was excited when her friend found some.

    Can I use this against her in court? Do I have to file this as evidence before our hearing date? If so, is there a time limit when I have to have this filed by? My paralegal friend wrote up a "summary" or "supplemantal" order to show cause, but I did not mail it in to serve to my sons mothers attorney or file it with the court. I logged on my girlfriends myspace at the paralegals office and forgot to log off and the paralegal went through all the emails and was adding stuff that didnt have to do with the drugs (storys of my sons mother getting drunk and her telling one of her friends we share our son 50/50) being requested on the date of the ex-parte hearing. She als added notes about arguments that me and my sons mother got into but wrote them down wrong and i dont want to "lie" about something that didnt happen. I didnt mail it in at first because I forgot to, and the proof of service by mail had a very specific date. I didnt want to go back to this paralegal because she was the one who told me to keep my son untill i get a court order to give him back to his mother and she went through my ex's emails behind my back and she was writing stuff that didnt exactly happen.

    Id like to redo the order to show cause myself, showing that my ex was trying to get drugs, but dont know if theres a time limit to serve my sons mother, or if i can just show up to court with it (the emails).

    Also, we were ordered to go back to normal visitation, but on this last sunday when I called to confirm my sons mother picking him up, she told me to keep him for an extra 5 days. Can I use that in any way?

    Thanks for any help...
    Last edited by isaacsdad; 01-16-2010 at 07:05 PM.
  2. #2
    Proserpina is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by isaacsdad View Post
    What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? California

    I have a child custody hearing next wednesday. I do not have the money to hire an attorney but I have been getting a little help with paperwork from a friend who is a paralegal who works for a family law attorney.

    We had an ex-parte hearing because I had her served with the papers on the day she was supposed to get my son back. On advice from the paralegal, I did not give my son back to his mother (I have him for a week every other week and switch off on sundays) and wanted to get something in writing saying that if I did, she would continue regular visitation untill we went to court (shes taken him before, and I went to the house where my son was to try and get him back and was arrested.about a year and a half ago when we were still together).
    Are you basically saying that a paralegal advised you to blackmail your child's mother?


    On monday she hired an attorney and on tuesday we had an ex-parte hearing. I was oredered to give him back and resume regular visitation untill we go to our hearing.
    Good.

    The paralegal asked if I knew any of the mothers email passwords. When we were together, we shared a myspace account and she never changed the password. Later that day I checked the myspace account of my sons mother and found that the week before she was asking around for some MDMA and on the morning of the exparte hearing she was still asking about it and the same day after the hearing she was excited when her friend found some.

    Can I use this against her in court? Do I have to file this as evidence before our hearing date? If so, is there a time limit when I have to have this filed by? My paralegal friend wrote up a "summary" or "supplemantal" order to show cause, but I did not mail it in to serve to my sons mothers attorney or file it with the court. I logged on my girlfriends myspace at the paralegals office and forgot to log off and the paralegal went through all the emails and was adding stuff that didnt have to do with the drugs (storys of my sons mother getting drunk and her telling one of her friends we share our son 50/50) being requested on the date of the ex-parte hearing. She als added notes about arguments that me and my sons mother got into but wrote them down wrong and i dont want to "lie" about something that didnt happen. I didnt mail it in at first because I forgot to, and the proof of service by mail had a very specific date. I didnt want to go back to this paralegal because she was the one who told me to keep my son untill i get a court order to give him back to his mother and she went through my ex's emails behind my back and she was writing stuff that didnt exactly happen.

    Id like to redo the order to show cause myself, showing that my ex was trying to get drugs, but dont know if theres a time limit to serve my sons mother, or if i can just show up to court with it (the emails).

    Also, we were ordered to go back to normal visitation, but on this last sunday when I called to confirm my sons mother picking him up, she told me to keep him for an extra 5 days. Can I use that in any way?

    Thanks for any help...
    You need an attorney - this paralegal appears to have overstepped to a massive degree and this can seriously hurt you in court.
  3. #3
    isaacsdad is offline Junior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Proserpina View Post
    Are you basically saying that a paralegal advised you to blackmail your child's mother?




    Good.



    You need an attorney - this paralegal appears to have overstepped to a massive degree and this can seriously hurt you in court.
    I dont know if she advised me to blackmail my sons mother. My sons mother has a history of drug use and she told me to check the emails for any evidence. Im not trying to use this evidence to keep my son away from his mother, but to try and help her to show her she needs help and to get her to remember that her top priority should be our son and not partying.

    I agree, no matter how much my son cries and hates going back to his mother, it was hard to not give him back that night. I tried to work with her, saying I would meet at the sherrifs station to return the child if she would sign a paper agreeing to have regular visitation untill we went to court but she refused. Two days later, after the Ex-Parte hearing, she met me at the sheriffs station so I could sign an agreement to go back to the court ordered arraingment because she wanted to give me my son for an extra day.

    I dont have money for an attorney. Im not going to listen to the advice of this paralegal anymore.

    I was looking for info to see if I could use these emails as evidence, and if so do I need to file something like the paralegal did and is there a time limit to file this, or can I just show up with the emails and show it to her attorney the day of the hearing?
  4. #4
    stealth2 is offline Senior Member
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    I doubt you can use those emails. Your friend advised you very badly.
  5. #5
    Isis1 is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by isaacsdad View Post
    I dont know if she advised me to blackmail my sons mother. My sons mother has a history of drug use and she told me to check the emails for any evidence. Im not trying to use this evidence to keep my son away from his mother, but to try and help her to show her she needs help and to get her to remember that her top priority should be our son and not partying.

    I agree, no matter how much my son cries and hates going back to his mother, it was hard to not give him back that night. I tried to work with her, saying I would meet at the sherrifs station to return the child if she would sign a paper agreeing to have regular visitation untill we went to court but she refused. Two days later, after the Ex-Parte hearing, she met me at the sheriffs station so I could sign an agreement to go back to the court ordered arraingment because she wanted to give me my son for an extra day.

    I dont have money for an attorney. Im not going to listen to the advice of this paralegal anymore.

    I was looking for info to see if I could use these emails as evidence, and if so do I need to file something like the paralegal did and is there a time limit to file this, or can I just show up with the emails and show it to her attorney the day of the hearing?


    dude. openly admitting you have access to these e-mails, says "i can modify ALL of mom's e-mails outgoing and incoming and change things to suit me."

    don't do it. really. really don't do it. i'm not an attorney, and i know how to fight that one in court.
  6. #6
    LdiJ is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by isaacsdad View Post
    I dont know if she advised me to blackmail my sons mother. My sons mother has a history of drug use and she told me to check the emails for any evidence. Im not trying to use this evidence to keep my son away from his mother, but to try and help her to show her she needs help and to get her to remember that her top priority should be our son and not partying.

    I agree, no matter how much my son cries and hates going back to his mother, it was hard to not give him back that night. I tried to work with her, saying I would meet at the sherrifs station to return the child if she would sign a paper agreeing to have regular visitation untill we went to court but she refused. Two days later, after the Ex-Parte hearing, she met me at the sheriffs station so I could sign an agreement to go back to the court ordered arraingment because she wanted to give me my son for an extra day.

    I dont have money for an attorney. Im not going to listen to the advice of this paralegal anymore.

    I was looking for info to see if I could use these emails as evidence, and if so do I need to file something like the paralegal did and is there a time limit to file this, or can I just show up with the emails and show it to her attorney the day of the hearing?
    So, a paralegal told you to illegally hack mom's emails and now you want to use them in court?

    Bad, bad, bad idea.
  7. #7
    Ohiogal is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by isaacsdad View Post
    I dont know if she advised me to blackmail my sons mother. My sons mother has a history of drug use and she told me to check the emails for any evidence. Im not trying to use this evidence to keep my son away from his mother, but to try and help her to show her she needs help and to get her to remember that her top priority should be our son and not partying.

    I agree, no matter how much my son cries and hates going back to his mother, it was hard to not give him back that night. I tried to work with her, saying I would meet at the sherrifs station to return the child if she would sign a paper agreeing to have regular visitation untill we went to court but she refused. Two days later, after the Ex-Parte hearing, she met me at the sheriffs station so I could sign an agreement to go back to the court ordered arraingment because she wanted to give me my son for an extra day.

    I dont have money for an attorney. Im not going to listen to the advice of this paralegal anymore.

    I was looking for info to see if I could use these emails as evidence, and if so do I need to file something like the paralegal did and is there a time limit to file this, or can I just show up with the emails and show it to her attorney the day of the hearing?
    So you hacked into your ex's email on the advice of a paralegal who is practicing law without a license?Do you want to admit to a crime?
    Parents should remember 3 things: Love your kids more than you hate your ex; when you have children the relationship with the other parent is until death; your children determine what type of nursing home you end up in.
    Nothing stated by me should be taken as giving you legal advice or forming an attorney/client relationship.

    Attorney-GAL in Ohio.

    I've removed the knife from my back, polished it, and will one day return it -- long after you think I have forgotten.
  8. #8
    isaacsdad is offline Junior Member
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    Well, I dont know if I "hacked" into her email. We shared the account when we were together. She has our sons and my pictures on there. She has my family and friends in the contacts. We shared it but I never really used it when we were together, after we split the password remained the same. The paralegal asked if I had pictures of her drug use and I know she had posted some of her on our account when we were together, I checked to see if those pictures were there and they were, along with emails of her asking for drugs right before and right after our Ex-Parte hearing.

    Im just trying to find out how to use this and other "evidence" for my hearing. Do I just show up with it and show it to the other lawyer or do i need to submit it in mail to her attorney and file it with the court before my hearing, and if I do, is there a time limit to do this.
  9. #9
    LdiJ is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by isaacsdad View Post
    Well, I dont know if I "hacked" into her email. We shared the account when we were together. She has our sons and my pictures on there. She has my family and friends in the contacts. We shared it but I never really used it when we were together, after we split the password remained the same. The paralegal asked if I had pictures of her drug use and I know she had posted some of her on our account when we were together, I checked to see if those pictures were there and they were, along with emails of her asking for drugs right before and right after our Ex-Parte hearing.

    Im just trying to find out how to use this and other "evidence" for my hearing. Do I just show up with it and show it to the other lawyer or do i need to submit it in mail to her attorney and file it with the court before my hearing, and if I do, is there a time limit to do this.
    I really don't think that you should attempt to use anything off that account.

    Its a twofold problem. Either its her account and you hacked it illegally...or its your joint account (which doesn't really exist) and you accessed it legally.

    If its your joint account and you accessed it legally (or illegally for that matter), then you could have engineered the posts asking for drugs yourself and photos can be photoshopped to put just about anything in them you want.

    You have already hurt your credibility a bit by keeping your son when you were not supposed to, and you were already ordered to resume normal visitation. You risk damaging your credibility a bit more by using things from that account.
    Last edited by LdiJ; 01-19-2010 at 05:16 AM.
  10. #10
    CJane is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by isaacsdad View Post
    I know she had posted some of her on our account when we were together,
    This is an issue too. Her drug use is not a change in circumstances.
  11. #11
    Proserpina is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by LdiJ View Post
    I really don't think that you should attempt to use anything off that account.

    Its a twofold problem. Either its her account and you hacked it illegally...or its your joint account (which doesn't really exist) and you accessed it legally.

    If its your joint account and you accessed it legally (or illegally for that matter), then you could have engineered the posts asking for drugs yourself and photos can be photoshopped to put just about anything in them you want.


    You have already hurt your credibility a bit by keeping your son when you were not supposed to, and you were already ordered to resume normal visitation. You risk damaging your credibility a bit more by using things from that account.

    Excellent point. OP, take a step back and look at it from the other side. Please rethink your actions and options here.
  12. #12
    CourtClerk is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by isaacsdad View Post
    The paralegal asked if I had pictures of her drug use and I know she had posted some of her on our account when we were together,
    Not to mention he knew she had a drug problem and stayed with her....

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