Child Custody, Mother deceased

[penelope10]

This is FL and grandparent visitation rights are dead in FL. That may be why grandma is in such a panic and is trying or threatening to try for custody. She may already be aware that she cannot get court ordered visitation.

While dad is apparently not a stranger to the child, the child's "continuity" to the life she has known is her grandmother...and grandma may not have agreed with her daughter's decision to not tell him about the child in the beginning. Its an incredible shame that grandma didn't react more logically and work to foster a smooth transition and an amicable relationship with the child's father.

Dad WILL get his child. It may take a little time but it will happen. Dad needs to be certain to act in the best interest of the child once he has the child in his custody. Give grandma a little time to recover from her child's death, and hopefully grandma will see the light.

I would encourage this father to maintain the ties between the child and the grandmother if grandma behaves herself after this legal mess is resolved.

Thanks LD---was unaware in regards to FL law regarding GP's rights...I knew you'd know the right answer regarding this. I agree that hopefully Dad will maintain the ties between the child and GM after the legal mess is resolved.
Like I said grief can make people do strange things. Losing a child and the fear of losing a grandchild must be a double whammy for this woman.

 

[LdiJ]

Thanks LD---was unaware in regards to FL law regarding GP's rights...I knew you'd know the right answer regarding this. I agree that hopefully Dad will maintain the ties between the child and GM after the legal mess is resolved.
Like I said grief can make people do strange things. Losing a child and the fear of losing a grandchild must be a double whammy for this woman.

Just so you are aware. FL does still have gpv laws on the books, but they have been struck down, multiple times by the FL Supreme Court as facially unconstitutional, and that is why gpv is dead in FL.

 

[penelope10]

Just so you are aware. FL does still have gpv laws on the books, but they have been struck down, multiple times by the FL Supreme Court as facially unconstitutional, and that is why gpv is dead in FL.

Thanks for the info. I am in hopes despite the law, that Dad and GM can work something out. I'm not stating that GM is acting appropriately at all. I think the best thing if GM can act in an appropriate manner in the future that the child have a connection with both sides of her family.

 

[LdiJ]

Thanks for the info. I am in hopes despite the law, that Dad and GM can work something out. I'm not stating that GM is acting appropriately at all. I think the best thing if GM can act in an appropriate manner in the future that the child have a connection with both sides of her family.

I agree with you 100%. In fact, because the gpv laws are dead in FL that just might facilitate a better shot at that happening. Once grandma realizes that she isn't going to get custody, she will know that she has to behave if she wants to be part of the child's life.

 

[sarahh08]

Yes this is a very bad situation. The reason it all got started is because we went to pick her up on easter sunday to come spend time with us, and be around family on her daddys side. We have two boys of our own, and she absolutely adores her brothers. When we went to pick her up, the grandmother refused. We even told her we'd be bringing her back in a few days. We felt she needed to be with her daddy's side of the family, and also to come stay at our home to get familiar with it. When we got the law involved, they took the grandmothers side because my fiance didnt have all the necessary paperwork just yet. Some of this paperwork takes time, and he was put under the impression that what he already had was good enough, but obviously not. We never intended to keep his daughter away from anybody. She has lost her mother, and she's going to need all the family on her mother's side to help her through this, just like she needs her daddy and his family. All the paperwork is almost done, and hopefully the courts will see that she needs to be with her daddy. And I completely understand that Grandma is probably going through a lot, but missing the first 2 1/2 years of your own child's life is something that can't be healed. Like I said, we have two boys of our own now, and as he watches our sons grow, he realizes more that hes missed with his daughter already. It's sad, it really is. Because he is a wonderful man, and has been the best father since the birth of our boys. It'll happen soon, it's just frustrating that the grandma is actually getting away with this. She has messed up though, she is now lying on documents, so, the hearing is next week and I hope this judge looks at every little bit of information that is related to this case. It's best for my fiances daughter to be with her daddy, and two little brothers, and also myself who will always be there for her. We have a stable, family home.

 

[sarahh08]

Also, we ran into a problem when he was told to get a lawyer to try to get an emergency hearing. For one, any lawyer he called wouldn't even listen to his story- he had to make an appointment and the soonest he found was months from now! And two, not everyone has that kind of money at the last minute. So until someone will jump to helping him when he contacts them, hes gotta wait until the original hearing, which is just next week. But in the mean time, the child is still with the grandmother who is basically capable of anything right now. Not to mention, we live about 3 1/2 hours away from where everything is being done, so it's been requiring a lot of driving. Luckily, my fiances mother lives about an hour away from where everything is taking place so hes staying there. Better to be an hour away than 3 1/2 hours! Keep us in your prayers!

 

[OldandTired]

You really should get Dad on here to read. I don't say this to belittle you, but if he doesn't have an Attorney, then at least some of us can prepare him for the statements he needs to make before the Judge. They are simple, but complex, and something that he needs to rehearse before appearing before the Judge. If there's one thing a Judge can't stand, is to have their time wasted by someone representing themselves that doesn't know what they're doing.

 

[sarahh08]

what types of things should he say? hes still staying at his mothers, with no internet. hes been doing everything he can to prepare himself.

 

[Ohiogal]

what types of things should he say? hes still staying at his mothers, with no internet. hes been doing everything he can to prepare himself.

He needs to present to the judge that he has been involved in this child's life and has an established relationship. That the mother has died and that there are no plans to remove the mother's family from the child's life but that the father can provide a safe, appropriate loving home and it is his constitutional right to be able to parent his child. Also that the best interests of the child would be served by the custody arrangement.

 

[sarahh08]

We had a hearing yesterday 4/22/09. My fiance was awarded custody! We just have to wait two weeks to be able to bring her home. The judge ordered this saying it would be a "smooth transition for the child". Judge definitely made it a point to say that grandparent rights are dead in FL, even visitation rights. However, she did avise that he try to keep everyone a part of his child's life. Thanks to anyone who replied on this with their advice!

 

[Isis1]

We had a hearing yesterday 4/22/09. My fiance was awarded custody! We just have to wait two weeks to be able to bring her home. The judge ordered this saying it would be a "smooth transition for the child". Judge definitely made it a point to say that grandparent rights are dead in FL, even visitation rights. However, she did avise that he try to keep everyone a part of his child's life. Thanks to anyone who replied on this with their advice!

well, congratulations to your fiancee. hopefully, dad will put child in therapy to help with his loss. for that, i am sorry. good luck. and thank you for updating!