+ Reply to Thread
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 15 of 26
  1. #1
    sarahh08 is offline Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Posts
    18

    Child Custody, Mother deceased

    What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? FL


    My fiance has just been proven to be the father of his ex girlfriends daughter. Before it was even proven, my fiance became a part of this little girls life and she knows him as daddy. The mother just recently passed away. The little girl is spending time with the maternal grandmother to mourn their loss. Now, the maternal grandmother is trying for custody. Does she have any rights over my fiance, the legal parent of this child? Please help!
  2. #2
    Isis1 is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Posts
    18,159
    Quote Originally Posted by sarahh08 View Post
    What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? FL


    My fiance has just been proven to be the father of his ex girlfriends daughter. Before it was even proven, my fiance became a part of this little girls life and she knows him as daddy. The mother just recently passed away. The little girl is spending time with the maternal grandmother to mourn their loss. Now, the maternal grandmother is trying for custody. Does she have any rights over my fiance, the legal parent of this child? Please help!
    was dad proven to be dad by the courts before mom passed?
  3. #3
    Silverplum is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    Yuma, CO
    Posts
    25,785
    Quote Originally Posted by sarahh08 View Post
    What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? FL


    My fiance has just been proven to be the father of his ex girlfriends daughter. Before it was even proven, my fiance became a part of this little girls life and she knows him as daddy. The mother just recently passed away. The little girl is spending time with the maternal grandmother to mourn their loss. Now, the maternal grandmother is trying for custody. Does she have any rights over my fiance, the legal parent of this child? Please help!
    Question #1.: How old is the child?

    2. How, exactly, was paternity established?

    Dad would need an attorney to deal with this, ASAP.
  4. #4
    sarahh08 is offline Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Posts
    18
    The test was ordered while mother was still alive, because she went to file for state assistance. My fiance took the test while she was still alive. The results came in after she died, but while daughter was still in hospital (she was involved in car accident that mother died in). Department of Children & Families awarded my fiance custody yesterday, but the maternal grandmother refuses to turn child over, and has filed for temporary custody. The DCF files that state they awarded him custody have not made it to courthouse yet, so really, no one has custody of this child.
  5. #5
    sarahh08 is offline Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Posts
    18
    The child will be 3 years old in June. The state ordered a paternity test because the mother tried to apply for state assistance. The child was kept from my fiance for two years. She doesnt even have the mothers last name, so my fiance couldnt find her.
  6. #6
    Gracie3787 is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    Location
    Central Florida
    Posts
    5,648
    Quote Originally Posted by sarahh08 View Post
    The test was ordered while mother was still alive, because she went to file for state assistance. My fiance took the test while she was still alive. The results came in after she died, but while daughter was still in hospital (she was involved in car accident that mother died in). Department of Children & Families awarded my fiance custody yesterday, but the maternal grandmother refuses to turn child over, and has filed for temporary custody. The DCF files that state they awarded him custody have not made it to courthouse yet, so really, no one has custody of this child.
    Your fiance needs to contact the DCF caseworker, they will make sure that Grandma turns the child over to dad.
  7. #7
    sarahh08 is offline Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Posts
    18
    Surprisingly enough, DCF ordered the grandmother to bring the child to the DCF office where we would pick her up. The grandmother refused, and said she had a lawyer that was going to help her get custody. I don't understand how she got away with refusing to bring the child, I think she should be in some kind of trouble for this. When she refused, DCF backed out of the situation and told my fiance he's just gonna have to get a lawyer. But today, they decided to start helping again, and we're hoping to have the child in our home by Monday. I've been trying to read up on laws and grandparents' rights. That's why I posted on here, to see if anyone knew anything. Thanks to all who posted. I appreciate it!
  8. #8
    Isis1 is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Posts
    18,159
    Quote Originally Posted by sarahh08 View Post
    Surprisingly enough, DCF ordered the grandmother to bring the child to the DCF office where we would pick her up. The grandmother refused, and said she had a lawyer that was going to help her get custody. I don't understand how she got away with refusing to bring the child, I think she should be in some kind of trouble for this. When she refused, DCF backed out of the situation and told my fiance he's just gonna have to get a lawyer. But today, they decided to start helping again, and we're hoping to have the child in our home by Monday. I've been trying to read up on laws and grandparents' rights. That's why I posted on here, to see if anyone knew anything. Thanks to all who posted. I appreciate it!
    i'm thinking, grandma threatened to get a lawyer...thing is...unless something is filed on an emergency basis for custody on grandma's behalf, dad should be able to go pick up HIS child. so maybe it was found grandma hadn't retained a lawyer yet......unless there is an order (even a temp one) grandma has no claim.
  9. #9
    mmmagique is offline Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Posts
    808
    This whole thing is so sad.
    Child loses mommy.
    Grandma loses child and possibly grandchild.
    Child goes to live with virtual strangers.
    If this is going to happen, I think there should be a transition period. Also, OP, please encourage your fiance to allow the maternal family to see this little girl. It sounds like they love her.
  10. #10
    Ohiogal is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    Ohio
    Posts
    52,755
    Quote Originally Posted by mmmagique View Post
    This whole thing is so sad.
    Child loses mommy.
    Grandma loses child and possibly grandchild.
    Child goes to live with virtual strangers.
    If this is going to happen, I think there should be a transition period. Also, OP, please encourage your fiance to allow the maternal family to see this little girl. It sounds like they love her.
    Did you read? The fiance was in the child's life for quite a while.

    Before it was even proven, my fiance became a part of this little girls life and she knows him as daddy.
    How does that mean the child would be with a stranger? What you think does not matter and holds no weight.
    Parents should remember 3 things: Love your kids more than you hate your ex; when you have children the relationship with the other parent is until death; your children determine what type of nursing home you end up in.
    Nothing stated by me should be taken as giving you legal advice or forming an attorney/client relationship.

    Attorney-GAL in Ohio.

    I've removed the knife from my back, polished it, and will one day return it -- long after you think I have forgotten.
  11. #11
    Ohiogal is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    Ohio
    Posts
    52,755
    Quote Originally Posted by Gracie3787 View Post
    Your fiance needs to contact the DCF caseworker, they will make sure that Grandma turns the child over to dad.
    DCF has no authority unless the child is in their custody. They can make requests but not orders.
    Parents should remember 3 things: Love your kids more than you hate your ex; when you have children the relationship with the other parent is until death; your children determine what type of nursing home you end up in.
    Nothing stated by me should be taken as giving you legal advice or forming an attorney/client relationship.

    Attorney-GAL in Ohio.

    I've removed the knife from my back, polished it, and will one day return it -- long after you think I have forgotten.
  12. #12
    Blue Meanie is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Massachusetts
    Posts
    24,260
    Quote Originally Posted by Ohiogal View Post
    DCF has no authority unless the child is in their custody. They can make requests but not orders.
    Couldn't the father file an emergency motion for custody through the courts? Wouldn't grandma's actions be considered custodial interference?
  13. #13
    nextwife is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2003
    Posts
    24,357
    Quote Originally Posted by mmmagique View Post
    This whole thing is so sad.
    Child loses mommy.
    Grandma loses child and possibly grandchild.
    Child goes to live with virtual strangers.
    If this is going to happen, I think there should be a transition period. Also, OP, please encourage your fiance to allow the maternal family to see this little girl. It sounds like they love her.
    The child was a virtual stranger BECAUSE mom hid the child from Dad. Dad already lost most of the first three years due to mom's selfishly keeping the child to herself, he shouldn't have to lose more.

    Grandma's actions will now almost guaranty she will lose access to grandchild. She SHOULD have worked with Dad through a transition process and cooperated so that she'd have a better chance of staying involved.
  14. #14
    penelope10 is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Posts
    2,509
    Having lost a child myself I can only say that grief can make you you do some pretty strange stuff. (And I'm not saying that what GM is doing is right)The problem here IMO was brought about originally by Mom who was not truthful about the paternity of the child. Not Dad's fault and not the grandmother's fault either.

    I hope LD comes on because she has a lot of knowledge in regards to Grandparent's rights. The child will be turned over to Dad, however, I believe that there may still be a chance that the GM will be awarded some type of visitation in the future. It will be best for this child that everyone that loves her remain connected in her life.
  15. #15
    LdiJ is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Posts
    65,884
    Quote Originally Posted by penelope10 View Post
    Having lost a child myself I can only say that grief can make you you do some pretty strange stuff. (And I'm not saying that what GM is doing is right)The problem here IMO was brought about originally by Mom who was not truthful about the paternity of the child. Not Dad's fault and not the grandmother's fault either.

    I hope LD comes on because she has a lot of knowledge in regards to Grandparent's rights. The child will be turned over to Dad, however, I believe that there may still be a chance that the GM will be awarded some type of visitation in the future. It will be best for this child that everyone that loves her remain connected in her life.
    This is FL and grandparent visitation rights are dead in FL. That may be why grandma is in such a panic and is trying or threatening to try for custody. She may already be aware that she cannot get court ordered visitation.

    While dad is apparently not a stranger to the child, the child's "continuity" to the life she has known is her grandmother...and grandma may not have agreed with her daughter's decision to not tell him about the child in the beginning. Its an incredible shame that grandma didn't react more logically and work to foster a smooth transition and an amicable relationship with the child's father.

    Dad WILL get his child. It may take a little time but it will happen. Dad needs to be certain to act in the best interest of the child once he has the child in his custody. Give grandma a little time to recover from her child's death, and hopefully grandma will see the light.

    I would encourage this father to maintain the ties between the child and the grandmother if grandma behaves herself after this legal mess is resolved.

Similar Threads

  1. Grandparents want custody, child's father deceased
    By donnamarie in forum Child Custody & Visitation
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 03-13-2007, 08:28 PM
  2. Collecting Back Child Support for Deceased Mother
    By cbmonfort in forum Child Support
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 03-09-2006, 10:47 AM
  3. Custody question: child of divorced parents, when both deceased
    By Arlee in forum Child Custody & Visitation
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: 03-29-2005, 10:02 PM
  4. Child custody after both parents are deceased
    By massmom in forum Child Custody & Visitation
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: 10-17-2003, 09:52 AM
  5. child custody from deceased father for taxes
    By Bob J Bruehl in forum Child Custody & Visitation
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 01-08-2001, 11:35 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

© 1995-2012 Advice Company, All Rights Reserved

FreeAdvice® has been providing millions of consumers with outstanding advice, free, since 1995. While not a substitute for personal advice from a licensed professional, it is available AS IS, subject to our Disclaimer and Terms & Conditions Of Use.