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Child custody question

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Military Dad

Junior Member
Hello everybody I just stumbled into this forum while searching the net and I have a problem that some of you may be able to help with.

I’ve been divorced since 1997 and gave my Ex wife custody of our little daughter. But on the fact that I’m in the Military, will be moving around on an average of once every four years plus I frequently stand 48-72 hour duty shifts at my station. I decided my daughter would have a more stable life living with her mom. We agreed on a certain amount for child support and split up all our assets. The divorce went un-contested and all was fine.
Over the last few years, I’ve discovered some disturbing information and am genuinely concerned for my daughter’s health and well-being. Two years ago I picked my daughter up in KY and we went to visit my parents in TX for a couple of weeks when she started complaining about a sore tooth. I took her to a local Dentist were we discovered that her teeth were in terrible shape. The Dentist had to do a pulpotomy, two crowns and two fillings (my girl was five at the time). I inquired the EX about this and she responded with “I don’t take her to the Dentist because I know you will when you pick her up”. I am responsible for maintaining medical/dental insurance for my daughter but I can’t take her for routine exams because of the distance between us. It was my assumption that I would pay and maintain her med/dentist insurance; The EX would make sure that she was scheduled for routine appointments. As far as I know, my daughter has only seen a doctor once, to get shots before school (she will be seven in March). Does this sound like child neglect? I visit her at least once a year, sometimes twice when I can get leave. I also call once a week.

Remember what I said about a stable life style? My daughter has been to two different school districts and moved no less than six times in the last 3-½ years. The EX remarried for about 9 months and then got divorced again. I believe this is causing my daughter to become very confused and I’m starting to re-think my original decision about not contesting custody. My Ex is also making it very difficult to contact my daughter. I’ve started a call log on my P/C in case it comes in handy if/when I have to use it in court. Last weekend I had to call twelve times just to get a hold of her and honestly I'm starting to get very frustrated.
I’ve spoken with the Military (been in 12 years, job stability established) about this. Apparently there are a lot of single parents serving their country and they will place me on a “hardship” program if I get custody of my child. Basically this means that I will be placed on a 9 to 5 schedule so I can time with my girl.
I guess my question is?
1. Do I have a good solid case against the EX to contest custody due to child neglect?

If I decide to start proceedings, I want to make sure I have enough to make a case. Any suggestions?

Thanks
 


Military Dad

Junior Member
Almost forgot. The Divorce happened in Harris County (Houston). Is this where I need to go if I decide to contest?
Thanks again
 
K

katkay

Guest
First you need to file where the divorce was filed. A lawyer should be able to do this. Second, you should have access to her medical records. Find out the doctor(s) she has had and request a copy. also, it wouldnt hurt to talk to the schools. Again, a lawyer can do this easier, but you can you can do it to save money.
You have to prove neglect, it wont work if its just your words. Also, why have you waited 2 years, since the problems began at age 5?
only a lawyer will know if you have a case.
 
R

railroaded?

Guest
I don't know if you will end up filing in Texas or not, the Texas Family Code is listed at http://www.capitol.state.tx.us/statutes/fa/fa015600toc.html
though, and you can read what it says about Grounds for Modification of Sole Managing Conservatorship
at http://www.capitol.state.tx.us/statutes/fa/fa015600.html#fa007.156.101 ,
From this, it sure sounds like you have a case, even if you just changed your own circumstances to more stable you would have a case, of course you would need to find out in which state that you should file though, and I am sure that state has a family code listed on the internet somewhere. There was an act passed, the UNIFORM CHILD CUSTODY JURISDICTION AND ENFORCEMENT ACT that is also in the Texas Family Code at http://www.capitol.state.tx.us/statutes/fa/fa015200toc.html

that might be of some help as to determining which state you would file in, this was passed to stop someone from losing custody in one state and them moving to another state and trying again and causing the courts to fignt.

I hope this helps
 

Military Dad

Junior Member
Also, why have you waited 2 years, since the problems began at age 5?



Why have I waited two years? Well…….. The problems started two years ago. Gradually at first….and then more consistently. I should have taken action earlier but, I’m not a lawyer and didn’t know what to do and being in the Military, I don’t make a whole lot of money to hire a lawyer. As I said before, I just stumbled onto this website and think it’s a great source of information. Recently (within the last two months, some things have come to light that have prompted me to take action. Example: Ex e-mails me that daughter must have attention defecate disorder because she won’t pay attention in school. My response was to send her to the doctor. In addition to this, I up-graded her med insurance to Tri-Care Prime Remote; the only catch was for the EX to provide name, address and phone number of a reputable doctor in the local area. I even gave an 800 number to call that would assist in locating one. Two weeks passed with no response so I chose one for her. The one I picked is 17 miles from her house (there are no Military bases nearby). In November the Ex called and says my daughter has dyslexia and needs to see a doctor. My response was to send her right away. I mean really, the insurance is paid up and it’s a free visit for them. To date, I’ve heard no response and/or condition of my daughter. Fast-forward to today, I tried to call my little girl about an hour ago. The phone has been disconnected due to non-payment. My frustration is rising again.

I guess the question still remains. Can I prove child neglect if the EX has almost no history of medical care? Even if its been available the whole time?
 
N

NaMessNalabama

Guest
A few things for you to consider. I would think that it would be important for you to show that you, yourself have taken an active interest in your child's welfare. I know your level of frustration in trying to deal with an ex who will not cooperate and can empathize.

I would suggest you contact your daughter's school, speak with the school counselor and express your concerns about your daughter. Does the school have your address and phone number. Have you, at any time over the last 2 years spoken with anyone from the school regarding your daughter? Believe me when you go after your daughter an attorney that is hired by your ex and going to bring up the fact that you have not shown any concer. Start expressing your concern with her teacher and school counselor.

Regarding the Dr. If you know what Dr. she was taken to. If you believe she might have been taken to the one who you referred your ex to then call that Dr's. office and see if they have any info on your daughter's condition. You don't have to wait for your ex to give you such info.

As for the phone being cut off...call the phone company and see what they might be able to offer you. It might be possible to have a line put in that will allow your daughter to call you only. If you are willing to go to the expense of having a line put in for her with a block on it that will also go along way in proving to a court that you are not only concerned but trying to handle the situation in a productive way.

Stop depending on someone who has proven she does not have the child's best interest in mind. You have way more control over what happens to your daughter and what information you have than you think. I wish you luck!!
 
R

railroaded?

Guest
Whether or not this constitutes neglect depends alot on the opinions of the Judge that you take this before, there is no one answer, Judges are all over the board on stuff like this. You need to determine what court this will be heard in, and have a discussion with an attorney who is familiar with the rulings of that particular Judge and let that attorney advise you on what should be done. This is obivously a situation that needs your attention, I don't see a problem with you having given the mother two years to get her act together, what counts is that you are not satisfied with the way things are, and want to make changes.
 
Z

zoedog

Guest
Military Dad,
I am no legal expert but do know that it sounds like you could sue for custody due to neglect.

There are also other options.
1. Have your parents or hers legally made responsible for these things through the court, that way you know they'll get done and you don't have to upset her life by making her move.

2. Have the State Child Welfare Department go by and pay her a visit, gently reminding her that she could lose custody if the child is not taken care of properly. They will also do follow-up visits just to make sure she is complying with the standards.

Hope these suggestions help

Sincerely
Zoedog
 

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