W
WAgrandma
Guest
What is the name of your state? Washington
My dtr is 18, her child is now 8wks old, she has moved back home with us due to baby's father inability to provide support (rent, etc), physical abuse, mental and emotional headgames using control and possession. The father (alledged) would not sign the paternity affidavidt @ the hospital, nor would he sign it during the 10 day time frame. He has history of drug/alcohol use, has not worked in over a year, my dtr supported him until 2weeks before her due date. He is being evicited from the apartment they shared, utilities being turned off, etc. He now is living with friends that he parties with. My dtr continues to fall in his line of bull, and runs to where ever he is when he demands to see the baby. My dtr is very indecisive, does not know what she wants, etc., and thinks that the way of living they were doing is acceptable for her child. Before she moved home, in 27 days baby has lost a little over a pound, slept 6-10 hours at a time, etc. Since her and baby moved home, baby has gained a little over 3# in 30 days, grew 1", smiles and happy. People tell my daughter the father has all the rights, and she can't do anything concerning the baby without his permission. I have looked all over, and have been uable to find laws/codes on unwed parents rights. It has been very hard this last 30 days watching my dtr slowly get back involved with the baby's dad. My husband & I have been married 19 years, have 2 other dtrs, 16 & 15. We feel that our dtr is going down a wrong path, that the "alledged" father is useless. He does not pay his bills, license suspended, drugs/alcohol, no job, violence, etc. We have provided 100% for our dtr and grand-dtr's suport since they moved home, the father has not even bought a rattle or bag of diapers. I don't know what to do...I am afraid that if she goes back to him, which right now is nowhere, our grand-dtr will suffer greatly physically and emotionally. While our dtr is doing the best she can caring for the baby, she makes irrational decisions, like going out to friends at 1am taking baby, staying out til all hours of the night with baby, taking baby to places where there is drugs/alcohol, having her out in the heat/sun all day running around with friends and the father, etc. I have tried very hard to be supportive rather than bossy. I have tried to limit my caring for baby here at the house, but kinda hard to leave her fuss when mom is ignoring her because she is playing on the computer or nintendo. We don't make our dtr pay rent, or buy for the baby, she receives state assistance dollars, and this month she has spent how she chose, my husband & I have provided all the needed and fun items. (Luckily I started buying months ago, though the diaper stock is depleting rapidly.) We are willing to continue supporting her & baby so that she can get back to school for GED and college so that she can learn a trade of some kind that will provide a future for her and baby. I am sure that with state assistance, a DNA test will eventually be done, birth certificate chg'd, etc. But in the meantime, who has what rights? I am afraid I will have to start researching my rights as a grandparent next. Any advice or words of wisdom would be greatly appreciated. I hope I have made sense, as I have been up all night worrying, as dtr and baby went out at 1am.
My dtr is 18, her child is now 8wks old, she has moved back home with us due to baby's father inability to provide support (rent, etc), physical abuse, mental and emotional headgames using control and possession. The father (alledged) would not sign the paternity affidavidt @ the hospital, nor would he sign it during the 10 day time frame. He has history of drug/alcohol use, has not worked in over a year, my dtr supported him until 2weeks before her due date. He is being evicited from the apartment they shared, utilities being turned off, etc. He now is living with friends that he parties with. My dtr continues to fall in his line of bull, and runs to where ever he is when he demands to see the baby. My dtr is very indecisive, does not know what she wants, etc., and thinks that the way of living they were doing is acceptable for her child. Before she moved home, in 27 days baby has lost a little over a pound, slept 6-10 hours at a time, etc. Since her and baby moved home, baby has gained a little over 3# in 30 days, grew 1", smiles and happy. People tell my daughter the father has all the rights, and she can't do anything concerning the baby without his permission. I have looked all over, and have been uable to find laws/codes on unwed parents rights. It has been very hard this last 30 days watching my dtr slowly get back involved with the baby's dad. My husband & I have been married 19 years, have 2 other dtrs, 16 & 15. We feel that our dtr is going down a wrong path, that the "alledged" father is useless. He does not pay his bills, license suspended, drugs/alcohol, no job, violence, etc. We have provided 100% for our dtr and grand-dtr's suport since they moved home, the father has not even bought a rattle or bag of diapers. I don't know what to do...I am afraid that if she goes back to him, which right now is nowhere, our grand-dtr will suffer greatly physically and emotionally. While our dtr is doing the best she can caring for the baby, she makes irrational decisions, like going out to friends at 1am taking baby, staying out til all hours of the night with baby, taking baby to places where there is drugs/alcohol, having her out in the heat/sun all day running around with friends and the father, etc. I have tried very hard to be supportive rather than bossy. I have tried to limit my caring for baby here at the house, but kinda hard to leave her fuss when mom is ignoring her because she is playing on the computer or nintendo. We don't make our dtr pay rent, or buy for the baby, she receives state assistance dollars, and this month she has spent how she chose, my husband & I have provided all the needed and fun items. (Luckily I started buying months ago, though the diaper stock is depleting rapidly.) We are willing to continue supporting her & baby so that she can get back to school for GED and college so that she can learn a trade of some kind that will provide a future for her and baby. I am sure that with state assistance, a DNA test will eventually be done, birth certificate chg'd, etc. But in the meantime, who has what rights? I am afraid I will have to start researching my rights as a grandparent next. Any advice or words of wisdom would be greatly appreciated. I hope I have made sense, as I have been up all night worrying, as dtr and baby went out at 1am.