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Child doesn't want to see father anymore

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Prima5

Member
What is the name of your state? Texas

My nephew no longer wants to visit his father; neither does his mother and step-father. The reason is because my nephew discovered marajuana in his father's closet when he and a friend were searching for one of his video games. Also, he has described his father coming home with the front of his pants messed up with wet spots on the crotch of his fathers pants. His dad then goes straight from walking in to change his clothes and shower. His Dad is re-married with 2 little babies in that household. They treat my nephew horribly, like an outsider. The step-mother has made my nephew feel so bad to the point that he has entertained suicidal thoughts or just harming himself to make her feel bad. They yell at him and she's verbally abusive. She calls him stupid and tells him to shut-up. They insisted that he be allowed to spend Christmas morning with them and then made him watch his step-brothers open presents while he had none. He says his Dad's a liar and that he can't trust him anymore. He obviously hates his step-mother and the feelings mutual. His father is a drug user who has used in front of his son. His son just didn't know what it was until he found the marajuana in the closet and he and his friend recognized it from school educational films. He described the pot perfectly to his mother, explaining how he buys those "little white papers" (zigzags) and crumbles the "tobacco" (as his father called it) and that it had little rounds seeds in it. We are all aware of his pot smoking in the past. We just thought he didn't do it anymore because he claimed to be off the drugs.

He turns 12 in December so in light of all of this and the fact that he doesn't want to see his father or step-mother anyway, can his mom and step-father keep him from seeing his dad and step-mom? Also, can they make my nephews father continue to pay child support?

Thak you for your help,
 


stealth2

Under the Radar Member
No. Children do not get to make these choices. There is a court order, and until that order changes - he has to go.

Visitation and support are not linked in any way.
 

Prima5

Member
It's not just the childs choice. It's the mother's, too. Also, doesn't wanting to kill himself whenever he's around them constitute making a decision that's in the best interest of the child?
 
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stealth2

Under the Radar Member
No. There is a court order. MOM has to follow the court order just as the child does. Mom's option is to file for a modification, but she's going to have to PROVE her allegations. Until a judge says kiddo doesn't have to go, kiddo goes. It really is as simple as that.
 

Prima5

Member
Well, since we doubt her ex will argue for fear he will have to do a drug test and might lose his other kids, I doubt he will cause any trouble but I will tell her that in the mean time to contact her attorney asap. Her son and his father already had a falling out about the pot smoking. My nephew confronted him and he admitted to doing it. I think they can get their attorney on it and not have to take my nephew to see his dad. His dad's not forcing the issue at this point. Thanks for the advice; however, I just can't imagine that forcing a child to go who may kill himself the next time he's over there seems cruel and unjust. Apparently his needs don't matter.
 
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Prima5

Member
Poor Nephew!

Well, my sister asked her son to see his dad until she can get a court order that would keep him from seeing his dad but he broke down. He's threatened to harm himself if they make him go over there so regardless of what the law is, she's not going to force him to do something that he doesn't want to do or will cause him to harm himself in anyway. Fortunately, the father's not going to force the issue and thinks he just needs more time since their fallout over the father smoking pot and my nephew refusing to be around that.
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
If Dad agrees, that's fine. But if Dad changes his mind - it's gonna be a problem. Hopefully he won't do that.
 

Prima5

Member
Fortunately for us, his father's dumb but he's not stupid! ;) He knows that it can get ugly and he could lose his other kids because of the pot smoking around the children and various other things we know about! My sister is going to see her attorney about the matter so that she knows what steps she needs to take.
 

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