Child Guardianship after death of mother

[slthompson99]

What is the name of your state? Indiana
My sister passed away in a car accident. She has a 4 yr old daughter. The father & my sister lived together but were never married, he is on the birth certificate. He has since abandoned the child (drug abuse) & she is with his mother & father and visits our parents. What rights do we have as a family in guardianship and/or custody? My home would be loving & good for her but I am 20 miles away from the grandparents.

 

[justme589]

Need more info...

Do the grandparents have legal custody or guardianship? Are they taking good care of the child? How long has she been in their care?

It may not be a good idea to disrupt the child's living arrangements at this point, since she's already been traumatized by losing her mother and then by being abandoned by her father. A young child needs love AND stability, and even though you may well be able to provide a wonderful, loving, home, the disruption at this point may only serve to traumatize the child further. If these grandparents are good to her and love her, uprooting her does not seem to me like a good idea (JMHO) no matter how much you'd like to have her with you. Do you talk to the grandparents? Will they allow you to visit? Could you spend time with her when your parents have her? You might be surprised.... the grandparents might be very happy to have you take her at times to give them a little break. It's hard to start raising children all over again after so many years. Personally, I would work on this situation by way of a personal angle and open communication before I would start talking about "rights" and legal remedies, because I think you might get a lot further that way.

Just my two cents.

 

[slthompson99]

The grandparents (on both sides) have done nothing legally. Her social security money is in a savings account w/ his parents. She stays at both houses during the week, goes to school at his mom's, goes to church with my mom, etc. I see her every Sunday for church. This is about as good as it's going to get. Her dad calls every other day or so to tell her hi & he loves her. He rarely gets over to see her (lives 50 miles away)and again in & out of rehab. She doesn't understand why he doesn't come & hug her. It's just not good from any vantage point. We all love her. I'm just looking for an unbiased opinion, we are all emotional due to my sister's death, the father's neglect, the control factor of his parents (though not legal, only mental). I feel like she gets passed around according to who's schedule she fits in that day. I just don't know that HER interests are ever considered. But then again, I might be too emotional and overprotective at this point. Any thoughts?

 

[mi_mom]

Please, check out the following website and post a message. There are many people in this group that know exactly what you are going through and are more than willing to help!!!


www.betterfamilysolutions.org