+ Reply to Thread
Results 1 to 7 of 7
  1. #1
    cwitham330 Guest

    Question Child to make up own mind which parent to live with?

    What is the name of your state? california
    i would like to know if there is a california law which states that at a certain age a child of divorced parents can legally decide for themselves which parent they would like to live with most of the time for school reasons, but also see the other parent on weekends? or do we need to go to court and have them decide?
  2. #2
    karma1 is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2001
    Location
    Las Vegas NV
    Posts
    1,305

    Some questions and info....

    How old is the child?
    With whom does the child reside with now and are there any current court orders regarding visitation or custody now?
    If there are current orders, you can then file for modification of those orders by requesting "Order to Show Cause" packet. Once this is filed, in CA, they will then schedule a meeting with a mediator-
    It is at this meeting that the parents try to work out whatever issues (like visitation, etc..) are ongoing-
    the mediator can request to meet with the child and depending on the age of the child, can take into consideration any feelings, etc... the child might have. The mediator then will write a report and submit it to the judge.
    If this is a new filing, meaning there are no current court orders in place, mediation will also occur.
    I cannot stress enough the importance of this mediation meeting-the judge in my DH's case, went by the mediators recommondations almost word for word. You need to show that whatever changes you are asking for is in the best interest of the child. Also, if the mediator does request a meeting with the child, do not coach or influence that child in any way-mediators are trained to see through this.
    As always, consult an attorney especially if this might be a something more complicated than what you have posted.
    I am not an attorney but went through visitation issues with my DH (modification of visitation) and am currently "observing" a situation where biomom is asking for full custody and hiding child from father (new filing, still going to mediation in July).
    Good luck, and hope this helps some.
    Oh, and 18 is the age that a child can actually legally say where to live etc.....
  3. #3
    amy1981 Guest
    i heard that in the state of pennslyvania that the age for a child to decide is at age 14. are you saying age 18 for every state or just ca? just wondering.
  4. #4
    ktarra617 is offline Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2001
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    945
    the only age a child can legally decide for themselves is 18. Prior to that the state does have age limits of when a child can voice their OPINION to the court and the court must listen. Doesn't mean the court will do what the child wants but they will consider.

    Some states is 12 some 10 some older. You just have to look at your state laws.
  5. #5
    cwitham330 Guest
    To Loving Wife,

    My daughter is 12 and her dad and I have joint custody. We live 45 minutes apart and she spend 1/2 the week with me and 1/2 the week with her dad (in the divorce agreement). My daughter would like to go to school close to where I live. Her dad doesn't want this because then it would be farther for him to drive to pick her up. My daughter wants to live with me during the week and her dad every other weekend. She wants to do this because when she spends time with her dad, he ends up sleeping most of the time and not spending time with her. I really don't want to have to go back to court. Her dad wants what is best for him, not for his daughter. All he is concerned with is how far he has to drive to pick her up on his days. I just thought there might be a way for her to decide without his interference.
  6. #6
    karma1 is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2001
    Location
    Las Vegas NV
    Posts
    1,305

    well, she could talk to her dad....

    but I am assuming this has been tried? It sounds reasonable what she wants-a 45 minute drive is really not that much-especially in CA.
    I am also assuming this is for the coming school year as this is summer time now-your daughter might keep on trying with dad for a week or so.
    If dad doesn't agree, sounds like you're headed for court-this might actually be a good thing, though, because as children get older, they get involved in after school activities and if this is all worked out now, then no questions when this happens later...
    consult an attorney, of course as I am not one.
  7. #7
    I AM ALWAYS LIABLE is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2000
    Location
    Los Angeles, California
    Posts
    38,166

    Re: Child to make up own mind which parent to live with?

    Originally posted by cwitham330
    What is the name of your state? california
    i would like to know if there is a california law which states that at a certain age a child of divorced parents can legally decide for themselves which parent they would like to live with most of the time for school reasons, but also see the other parent on weekends? or do we need to go to court and have them decide?
    My response:

    Whether the minor is of "sufficient age and capacity" (so as to satisfy the threshold prerequisite to consideration of the child's wishes) varies with each child. The requisite maturity is not measured by any particular chronological age. Generally, courts become more receptive as the child approaches his or her teenage years, but some courts will listen to children as young as 7 or 8 (e.g., Stuart v. Stuart (1962) 209 Cal.App.2d 478, 25 Cal.Rptr. 893, 894). [See Marriage of Mehlmauer (1976) 60 Cal.App.3d 104, 110-111, 131 Cal.Rptr. 325, 329--court determined 14-year-old boy did not meet 3042 standard and thus refused to shift custody from mother despite child's wishes; compare Marriage of Rosson (1986) 178 Cal.App.3d 1094, 1103, 224 Cal.Rptr. 250, 256-257 (disapproved on other grounds in Marriage of Burgess (1996) 13 Cal.4th 25, 38, 51 Cal.Rptr.2d 444, 454, fn. 10)--10 and 13-year-old children did meet statutory measure]

    IAAL

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 3
    Last Post: 04-03-2012, 05:46 PM
  2. At what age can a child make the decision where to live?
    By ricourt30 in forum Child Custody & Visitation
    Replies: 39
    Last Post: 11-09-2005, 03:42 PM
  3. At what age can a child make a legal descion as to where they would like to live?
    By lovfry in forum Marriage, Domestic Partnerships and Other Family Law Matters
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 12-06-2001, 06:02 AM
  4. when can a child make up his/her mind on where to stay
    By Woobadoo in forum Child Custody & Visitation
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 07-06-2001, 12:42 PM
  5. Replies: 0
    Last Post: 07-18-2000, 12:28 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

© 1995-2012 Advice Company, All Rights Reserved

FreeAdvice® has been providing millions of consumers with outstanding advice, free, since 1995. While not a substitute for personal advice from a licensed professional, it is available AS IS, subject to our Disclaimer and Terms & Conditions Of Use.