Child is not born but I(the presumed father) want full custody.

[TheDAD]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? The mother of my presumed child is currently living in Alaska and I live in Nevada(Vegas).

Ok I just got off the phone with her. Very heated conversation on both ends. Ok this is what she is trying to do. She doesn't want me on the birth cert. and then she wants me to relinquish all custody of the child so she can then make a living will stating that if she dies the child goes to her father. But as she states now I'll still be able to see the child but I'm no in anyway shape or form connected legally.

Now I've heard Alaska is very pro mother. The things I have going for me is that I have a great job, I work for TI which is a union casino so I have Health care. I have great credit and have never had a blemish on it. Military Vet. I currently live at a friends house but if it looks better for me I can get my own place. I attend school full time which hopefully shows I'm trying to do the right thing and I have me stuff together.

The bad I have no one as of yet to watch the child when I'm at work or school. This is a catch 22 because if i can't work then I can't keep my job. I lose credibility.

The good for her. Lives with her father in a paid off house. Which is about it.

She is around 40K(that I know of) in debt for unpaid federal and state taxes plus unpaid medal bill dating back to when she was a teenager. She doesn't work. Blames it on the pregnancy. She is only 5 months along and I see women doing at least a little something while pregnant. She is on unemployment, wic and denlai kid care. She has no car and no real money.

Now do I have a case? Will I be able to get custody of the kid? If I do go through with this what I'm I looking at as far as lawyer fees. If I deplete all my funds getting my child then its another catch 22.

I really want to have my child with me but I don't want to fight a losing battle waste all whole bunch of money only to be stuck with 40% of wage taken out of my pay check every month. As of right now if I sign everything she wants me to sign she doesn't want any money from me. I will still carry my own withholding into a trust fund for him when he gets older but as far as monthly check to her, nothing.

What should I do?

Thanks in advance,

 

[stealth2]

Uuuuh, yeah - don't count on it. For starters, Alaska will have jurisdiction. You will need a lawyer there, and will have to travel there for court appearances (at least some).

Also, you have posted nothing that renders her unfit as a parent. The likelihood of taking an infant away from Mom is slim to none, unless you can show that she's truly unfit. And I doubt that you can do that.

 

[Ohiogal]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? The mother of my presumed child is currently living in Alaska and I live in Nevada(Vegas).

Ok I just got off the phone with her. Very heated conversation on both ends. Ok this is what she is trying to do. She doesn't want me on the birth cert

Until a court determines you are daddy you won't be on the birth certificate because from the sounds of it an AOP will NOT be signed at the birth.

and then she wants me to relinquish all custody of the child so she can then make a living will stating that if she dies the child goes to her father.

You have no custody until a court grants that. However, children cannot be willed.

But as she states now I'll still be able to see the child but I'm no in anyway shape or form connected legally.

She can say that. You can go to court.

Now I've heard Alaska is very pro mother. The things I have going for me is that I have a great job, I work for TI which is a union casino so I have Health care. I have great credit and have never had a blemish on it. Military Vet.

You will NOT get full custody. You will be able to pay child support and provide health benefits. You can sue for joint custody and visitation.

I currently live at a friends house but if it looks better for me I can get my own place. I attend school full time which hopefully shows I'm trying to do the right thing and I have me stuff together.

Doesn't matter.

The bad I have no one as of yet to watch the child when I'm at work or school. This is a catch 22 because if i can't work then I can't keep my job. I lose credibility.

Doesn't matter. Mom is the only parent this child will have. By the time you fight this in court SHE will have status quo. why would it then be in the child's best interest to be placed with you apart from the mother when most likely you will barely have met the child?

The good for her. Lives with her father in a paid off house. Which is about it.

Wrong. She is the ONLY parent this child has. She is the one who will have an established relationship with the child.

She is around 40K(that I know of) in debt for unpaid federal and state taxes plus unpaid medal bill dating back to when she was a teenager. She doesn't work. Blames it on the pregnancy. She is only 5 months along and I see women doing at least a little something while pregnant. She is on unemployment, wic and denlai kid care. She has no car and no real money.

Doesn't matter.

Now do I have a case?

Not for full custody, no.

Will I be able to get custody of the kid? If I do go through with this what I'm I looking at as far as lawyer fees. If I deplete all my funds getting my child then its another catch 22.

You will need to sue to establish paternity, custody and support.

I really want to have my child with me but I don't want to fight a losing battle waste all whole bunch of money only to be stuck with 40% of wage taken out of my pay check every month. As of right now if I sign everything she wants me to sign she doesn't want any money from me. I will still carry my own withholding into a trust fund for him when he gets older but as far as monthly check to her, nothing.

Sorry but that is not necessarily her choice. If she gets ANY state aid, Alaska is going to come after you for child support. But it is good you would turn your back on a child you believe is yours in exchange for money.

What should I do?

Grow up and get a reality check. When the child is born, file to establish paternity, custody and support. Then be a responsible parent to your child.

Thanks in advance,

You are welcome.

 

[ecmst12]

Courts don't award custody based on who has a bigger house, who has a better job, or who has more money.

 

[xylene]

And just to restate the OBVIOUS:

There is no 'custody' of a fetus. Pre-birth custody does not exist.

Save some money and stop working yourself and mom up until the issue is at hand.

 

[Ohiogal]

And just to restate the OBVIOUS:

There is no 'custody' of a fetus. Pre-birth custody does not exist.

Save some money and stop working yourself and mom up until the issue is at hand.

I disagree. MOM has custody because it is HER body and she has full control of it.

 

[xylene]

I disagree. MOM has custody because it is HER body and she has full control of it.

Mom is pregnant.

She has limited legal control of her body and pregnancy.

The fetus is not a person and there are not going to be any rulings until the birth.

 

[Ohiogal]

Mom is pregnant.

She has limited legal control of her body and pregnancy.

The fetus is not a person and there are not going to be any rulings until the birth.

Okay those statements I can agree with.