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child support arrears

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What is the name of your state? Co

About 5 years ago my ex and I split up. I have a daughter from a previous relationship and the father has never been involved. There is a child support order in place however not much of anything has ever been paid. Arrears are over $35k. My ex that I split with 5 years ago and I also have a child. We never married, however we were together from the time my oldest child was an infant. He wanted to and intended to adopt her but I refused to allow that to happen until we were married. I also know now it probably wouldn't have even been an option. She called him dad, and believed he was her dad because her bio father was not involved at all and still is not. Bad idea I know now to have allowed that to happen, but it did. Of course when we split there was always talk of us remaining amicable and that he would always raise my daughter as his own even if we were not together. There was no amicability and him continuing to be in her life as her "dad" lasted about a year. He no longer wants or has anything to do with her. His choice, sadly for my daughter I made the mistake of believing he loved her as his own.

During our very volatile custody case I agreed to give him the child support owed to me for my oldest daughter if I ever received child support from her bio father for supporting my oldest daughter during the time that he lived with us. I honestly can't say that he did much of anything extraordinary. We split bills right down the middle and I pretty much paid for anything related to my daughter. Clothes, food, diapers, etc etc.

I was honestly emotionally exhausted with the case and tired of fighting. I agreed to give my ex half of what I was owed in child support because I thought (or knew) that I would probably never get anything in child support from him anyways. You know, whole blood out of a turnip concept.

I am still not receiving anything in child support from my daughters bio father. However, now my ex is questioning my giving that money to him.

How legal is this? Can I take that back in court and say I no longer wish to give up those child support funds? Would a judge uphold that agreement if my daughters bio father ever started to pay child support? Do I have to hand over any child support I receive from him or must he become current on his arrears before anything is given to my ex? Does my ex have to go after the money from bio father himself?

Sorry for so many question and I hope I offered enough background to understand the situation. Thanks for all your help in advance. :)
 


Silverplum

Senior Member
What is the name of your state? Co
About 5 years ago my ex and I split up. I have a daughter from a previous relationship and the father has never been involved. There is a child support order in place however not much of anything has ever been paid. Arrears are over $35k.
Okay.
NSA4answers said:
My ex that I split with 5 years ago and I also have a child. We never married, however we were together from the time my oldest child was an infant. He wanted to and intended to adopt her but I refused to allow that to happen until we were married. I also know now it probably wouldn't have even been an option. She called him dad, and believed he was her dad because her bio father was not involved at all and still is not. Bad idea I know now to have allowed that to happen, but it did. Of course when we split there was always talk of us remaining amicable and that he would always raise my daughter as his own even if we were not together. There was no amicability and him continuing to be in her life as her "dad" lasted about a year. He no longer wants or has anything to do with her. His choice, sadly for my daughter I made the mistake of believing he loved her as his own.
I'm still reading.
NSA4answers said:
During our very volatile custody case I agreed to give him the child support owed to me for my oldest daughter if I ever received child support from her bio father for supporting my oldest daughter during the time that he lived with us. I honestly can't say that he did much of anything extraordinary. We split bills right down the middle and I pretty much paid for anything related to my daughter. Clothes, food, diapers, etc etc.

I was honestly emotionally exhausted with the case and tired of fighting. I agreed to give my ex half of what I was owed in child support because I thought (or knew) that I would probably never get anything in child support from him anyways. You know, whole blood out of a turnip concept.
Is this unusual arrangement formalized in a Colorado court order???
NSA4answers said:
I am still not receiving anything in child support from my daughters bio father. However, now my ex is questioning my giving that money to him.
Do you mean that he is asking for the CS money that you still are not receiving?
NSA4answers said:
How legal is this?
That would depend entirely upon whether or not this is an item in your court order, and what exactly that order states. I can't possibly guess.
NSA4answers said:
Can I take that back in court and say I no longer wish to give up those child support funds?
This just gets weirder. You would spend funds to take a case to court to notify the court that you don't want to be obligated to pay money you don't receive.
Huh.
And the answer still depends upon the answers to my qs.
NSA4answers said:
Would a judge uphold that agreement if my daughters bio father ever started to pay child support? Do I have to hand over any child support I receive from him or must he become current on his arrears before anything is given to my ex? Does my ex have to go after the money from bio father himself?

Sorry for so many question and I hope I offered enough background to understand the situation. Thanks for all your help in advance. :)
Answers are needed before any legal info can be provided.
 
Okay.

I'm still reading.

Is this unusual arrangement formalized in a Colorado court order??? This was an agreement that the parties reach and was adopted as an order of the court in Colorado.

Do you mean that he is asking for the CS money that you still are not receiving? Basically yes. I am not, and have not received anything substantial from the bio father. I think over the course of 9 years since the CS order was placed I have received a total of less than $1,100.

That would depend entirely upon whether or not this is an item in your court order, and what exactly that order states. I can't possibly guess. It states "Petitioner shall assign to CoPtetioner/Respondent one hald of all chil support payments plus interest due on such amounts from "bio father," father of minor child not of this order, from Feb 2001 to November of 2002, for child support for minor child not of this order that was provided during such period by copetitioner/Respondent." I changed my daughters name to "minor child not of this order" for privacy purposes... the essence is the same.

This just gets weirder. You would spend funds to take a case to court to notify the court that you don't want to be obligated to pay money you don't receive.
Huh. I don't intend to spend anything or take anything to court currently. I ask here solely for purposes if he were to bring it up in court, to be prepared. Regardless if I receive them now or in 15-20+ years I would still legally owe them to my ex, correct? I am wondering if there is some loop hole that I will be able to get out of that for future reference. I don't feel now that he ever supported my daughter enough that he should be compensated for it now. I also think that he voluntarily chose to offer any support or assistance financially or emotionally to my daughter when we were together. I'm not trying to be a b**** about it. Like I say at the end of the line I was emotionally exhausted and tired of the fighting and just looking for some resolve. If that took offering up something I knew I'd never get anyway to come to an agreement, I was all for that.
And the answer still depends upon the answers to my qs.

Answers are needed before any legal info can be provided.
Hope I was able to give you what you needed. Thanks for any additional help! :) My answers are in bold text. I'm sorry being new I don't know how to copy/paste posts in sections like I've seen others do. Thanks
 

Silverplum

Senior Member
NSA4answers said:
This was an agreement that the parties reach and was adopted as an order of the court in Colorado.
Okay.
Classic example of how the Court will accept just about any agreement that both parents come to voluntarily.
NSA4answers said:
Basically yes. I am not, and have not received anything substantial from the bio father. I think over the course of 9 years since the CS order was placed I have received a total of less than $1,100.
Whatever you've received from the prior CS order since the day your court order was signed, you owe him half.
NSA4answers said:
It states "Petitioner shall assign to CoPtetioner/Respondent one hald of all chil support payments plus interest due on such amounts from "bio father," father of minor child not of this order, from Feb 2001 to November of 2002, for child support for minor child not of this order that was provided during such period by copetitioner/Respondent." I changed my daughters name to "minor child not of this order" for privacy purposes... the essence is the same.
Yes, privacy is essential.
You owe half as previously stated, plus interest.
NSA4answers said:
I don't intend to spend anything or take anything to court currently. I ask here solely for purposes if he were to bring it up in court, to be prepared. Regardless if I receive them now or in 15-20+ years I would still legally owe them to my ex, correct? I am wondering if there is some loop hole that I will be able to get out of that for future reference.
Yes, you owe it. And would owe it in future, until-unless you get the court order changed.

And if he takes you to court for contempt for nonpayment, your best answer to the court is NOT, "I don't want to, and can I get that changed?"
NSA4answers said:
I don't feel now that he ever supported my daughter enough that he should be compensated for it now. I also think that he voluntarily chose to offer any support or assistance financially or emotionally to my daughter when we were together. I'm not trying to be a b**** about it. Like I say at the end of the line I was emotionally exhausted and tired of the fighting and just looking for some resolve. If that took offering up something I knew I'd never get anyway to come to an agreement, I was all for that.
Whatever your reasons were, you are bound to the court order. That's the fact.

If you want it changed, you'd need to file a modification, go to court, and win.
Hope I was able to give you what you needed. Thanks for any additional help! :) My answers are in bold text. I'm sorry being new I don't know how to copy/paste posts in sections like I've seen others do. Thanks
It's okay.
You're welcome. :)
 
Okay.
Classic example of how the Court will accept just about any agreement that both parents come to voluntarily.

Whatever you've received from the prior CS order since the day your court order was signed, you owe him half.

Yes, privacy is essential.
You owe half as previously stated, plus interest. Would that be interest from the dates of which I received the payment until now, or interest on the original CS arrears that are owed to me? Additionally, the child support enforcement agency that is handling that case does not collect interest on arrears owed so I'm kinda not owed any in a way. I think I would have to motion the court separately to receive any interest on arrears in that order.

Yes, you owe it. And would owe it in future, until-unless you get the court order changed.

And if he takes you to court for contempt for nonpayment, your best answer to the court is NOT, "I don't want to, and can I get that changed?" Oh of course. As I understand ignorance is no excuse either. Just trying to get all my ducks in a row. We aren't talking about a whole bank load of money here it's like twenty bucks here and there. I am wondering if I would owe to my ex anything I've received since the order was adopted, or if the bio father must become current before any dispersement is made to my ex.

Whatever your reasons were, you are bound to the court order. That's the fact.

If you want it changed, you'd need to file a modification, go to court, and win. Do I have any legal grounds to do so since this was an agreement I made? Do I even have a chance of winning?

It's okay.
You're welcome. :)
Thanks again.:)
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
I am going to disagree slightly with Silverplum. The money you owe him is 1/2 of the arrearage from the period of February 2001 to November of 2002.

Any odd payments that you receive here or there, are likely current support rather than arrearages, so I would not agree that you owe him 1/2 of that. I don't think that you would owe him any money until you start receving full current support, plus money towards arrearages. Even then, it might to difficult to determine just exactly when you were being paid for the period of February 2001 to November of 2002, since the dad obviously owes far more arrearages than for just that period of time.

Again, there is nothing in that order that would indicate that you have to use current support to pay off your ex, and I seriously doubt that a judge would order you to do so. I don't think it would even be within a judge's authority to order that current child support for a child be used to pay off a parent's debt to another adult. Therefore, until the time comes when you are receiving full current support, plus some money towards arrearages, its a non issue.

Once that happens, you may be able to get print outs from the CSE that show how the arrearage payments are being applied, in order to know when the period of February 2001 to November of 2002 is being paid.
 
ok so here's a twist in the scenario...

After the order with my ex was adopted into the court CSE finally started going after bio dad for child support and arrears. There were about 18 months that times were rough I had lost my job and received TANF for myself and my daughter. Those 18 months were during the time frame that the order states I am to hand over the child support I receive from bio father to my ex. However I found out that the money I received while on TANF in support of my daughter is to be paid back to the state. Obviously, and fairly so. I wasn't aware of that at the time of the agreement. Does that change things? Obviously I can't give that money to 2 people or entities and rightly it is the states because of the assistance they provided. Which also goes to show that my ex was not supporting my daughter, the state was. Would this be grounds for nullification of that section of our agreement?
 
YOU will never see the money from that time as the state will take its money first.
Oh, I know that. I asked the CSE caseworker when I found out if they would take that amount out of any payments that were made by him before they were dispersed to me because at one point he told me (more like raged at me) that his income tax refund was intercepted yet I never received it. She looked into it and said that they will only take that money once he is current and all current child support is paid as well. And that he never had a tax return intercepted that she showed in her system.

My question is regarding the legality of that part of our order. If it's money already designated for the state, (and please don't get me wrong, it is as it should be, I'm not a "welfare mom," it was just a tough stretch in my life) does that nullify the section of our custody order that awards my ex those funds?
 

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