Child Support - Deadbeat Parents

[mikkib]

I just found this site yesterday, and I'm wondering if there's anyone out there with a success story with CSE.

I was 19 when I had my daughter. I was not married, but living with my b/f when I got pregnant. We stayed together throughout the pregnancy and broke up when my daughter was 10 months old. I started working full time for $5.00/hr and was paying $70.00 per week for daycare. I found a second job that allowed me to bring my daughter at night to try my best to make ends meet.

I went the Rhode Island CSE to start the process of collecting some child support in earrly 1988. My ex b/f was making $13.00/hr at the time and was able to afford a real lawyer. His lawyer advised him to deny paternity which he did. It took 11 months before CSE served my ex with the order to submit to a blood test, and all the while since he was denying paternity, he chose not to visit my daughter or help out at all. The following day rather than go through with the blood test, he admitted paternity so the process of getting a child support agreement started.

It took from the time my daughter was 10 month old untill she was 2 1/2 to complete this process using CSE. When I finally had a support agreement, he got visitation. I thought it was best for my daughter to have a relationship with her dad, so even though I had some issues with it, I felt it was for the best. By this time, I had taken a 3rd job waitressing on weekends, and was really counting on him to live up to the visitation agreement so I wouldn't have to find/pay for daycare on weekends. He showed up the first couple of weeks, payed CS ($76.00 wk) a couple of times and then just stopped.

With help from my family, I got a lawyer and took him back to court when he owed over $4,000 in CS around 1990. The judge ordered him to pay $1,000 in back support and to live up to the agreement or he'd go to jail. He made another court date for the following month. That's the last time I saw or heard from him. I expected that since he didn't show up for court there'd be a bench warrent for him, and someone would be actively working on my case.

I got the same run-around I've read about so many times on this site from CSE. Each time I called to check on the status, there had been no update. Then one day I spotted him in our home town in the back of one of his friends cars. I called the local police department and they said that unless I could provide an address for him there was nothing they could do.

I decided not to pursue it anymore, and to do something more productive and more likely to pan out. I worked two jobs and went to night school. Eventually, we moved to Florida (cost of living is much lower than in RI), and in 1998 the state of RI CSE sent me a letter saying that at that point the arrearage was over $60,000 but since I don't live there anymore, they would not be handling the case. I filed with CSE here in Florida, and have gotten absolutely nowhere now in almost 3 years. I checked again yesterday and I got the same old thing. "There's no update, call back in 30 days....." AHHHHHHHHHHHH

I know this sounds negative, but I keep hearing about how things are getting better and deadbeat parents aren't getting away with it anymore, but my daughter is 15 and I've been trying to get support for 12 years!!!!

I think it's so sad that she's missed out on alot of parenting, because I've had to struggle so hard just to keep a roof over her head and food in her belly.

Can anyone provide any suggestions on how to get CSE going????

 

[Dogmatic_1]

Heck yeah I have some advice

1. Contact your county Attorneys office..... and tell him your story. The the atty that this is 15 years in the making.

I'm pretty sure the County Attorney's office could get CSE in motion. Good luck.....

Dogmatic_1

 

[tigger22472]

Short of sitting on their asses night and day NO. CSE is a bunch of crap. The only thing it does help is in some cases they do nothing for free. They want you to provide EVERYTHING for them. I got into with them once telling them I KNEW my ex was working because he had told my children that he was and even how much he was making but wouldn't say where because he KNEW I'd turn him in. I was told "sorry without knowing where he works at we can't do anything." I literally SCREAMED his SS# at the woman and told her to put it in a computer and SHE tell me where he was paying taxes. She again told me they couldn't do anything "but feel free to call back if you find out where he's working." I was furious. Also I've heard and I dont' know if this is true but that Florida is one of the worse states to get child support from especially if the NCP moves there and the order is somewhere else. My ex is one of those that jumps from job to job(now working under the table i'm sure) and home to home. We were to go to court last Wednesday. I sent a certified letter to his mothers house last month and she signed for it. I KNOW for a fact he recieved this letter, I told him when court was. However, CSE couldn't get him served and so of course he didn't show and there's nothing that can be done because he wasn't "properly served."

 

[haiku]

when I was using CSE for my ex, they told me my case had very low priority becuase I was not on state aid! Pardon me FOR WORKING to feed my kid!

overworked useless agency in need of major overhaul!

 

[mikkib]

Thanks for the replies. It's sad but comforting to know that other parents are dealing with the SOS!

 

[CMSC]

mikkib, I agree with most of the posters on here, you have to be on CSE 100% in order for them to do anything. I spoke to them 5 times yesterday about my case (as recommended by my state senator) and they in the end suggested I pay my attorney to take over my support case!

 

[tigger22472]

imagine that.. they passed the buck on something they should be doing....

 

[hound dog]

WELL I am on the other side of the tracks..........I have been paying my support and they never credit my account. I have certified them letters and talked to my case worker tons of times and NOTHING as came of it , I called last week and the lady on the phone told me she has 30 days to revise my case I said **** lady she had two years and she still has done nothing........ I have certified letters and phone conversation going back until 1998 and have proof I paid mailed receipts and she has yet to update my case......... My taxes are going to be intercepted for child support I do not owe....So yes I know exactly how it feels but I am one of the NCP that pay and gets treated like dog crap....So my solution is an attorney and I am gettign my case out of there for good............ Good luck!!!

 

[Grace_Adler]

I totally see where you all are coming from. But unless they know where to find them their hands are tied. You know what I mean? Now they have many data bases that are tied in together like DSS, ESC, IRS and stuff like that so at least that helps a little. All they can do is go to where they last worked or lived. I can't believe these people stay on the run so long. They can't put in an address with DMV, the post office, they have to find jobs getting paid under the table..I couldn't live like that. Yeah, I'm with an NCP too and they are total JERKS to us!! I hate them!!! They over collected on my husband too and i have their paper work to prove it!! they still say i'm in the wrong!! They said "the computer doesn't lie!! I said well maybe not but what about the moron behind the computer? You guys have the wrong freaking b-day in there for him!! But the computer doesn't lie so I guess his birth certificate does huh? If I didn't have the court papers I wouldn't have caught this glitch and wouldn't be able to look up his case on line. She still didn't correct it and this was a lady at our state capital!! They won't credit him or anything!! I said yeah you guys are so smart you don't double check anything. The ex told them a bunch of jobs he never worked before and told them the wrong b-day..she has no clue when his b-day is. They take the CPs word over everything and don't bother to double check it. (No offense..I don't mean u guys)
Anyway I know I'm going on and on but I had to vent. So isn't there a regional CSE that's over them you can call too?

By the way..NC usually get the ones who are behind at least from what I've seen.

 

[hound dog]

You can look up your case on line? How?

 

[Grace_Adler]

Well it doesn't give much info. but a little. Not all states have this web site though. Ours is ncchildsupport.com. So you would substitute your state's abbrev. for nc's. If your state doesn't have this website you can call CSE and find out if they have one where you can look it up. It may just have a different url in your state.
Nevermind about NC.. I just realized it practically takes an act of Congress to get them to serve a summons..and when they do..good luck on getting it served before the court date.